I will be the first to admit it. I am crazy. I have probably been crazy my whole life....but add three children to that mix and subtract a few brain cells from college activity and childbirth...well, then you will find that I am indeed crazy. But, I think it quite a gift that I am COMPLETELY and TOTALLY able to see the craziness of my own children. I know this sounds weird. But, as a former teacher, you find out REALLY fast that MOST parents believe that they have, indeed, given birth to a perfect being. Common conversation with said parent: "What do you mean Johnny bit Sonya on the playground and then spit in your face? There is no way that you saw this....you must have been hallucinating." Yeah....I am NOT that mom. In fact, I am probably the opposite. I can spot a quirk a MILE away. I LOVE me some quirks. Yet, with 3 children, I am impressed with God's ability to find the EXACT mixture of quirks that will make each of my children the polar opposite of the others....is that even POSSIBLE with three children? Yes....yes it is.
Oldest child: 8 years old: girl -- contains typical oldest child characteristics. She is a take charge girl....if there is a catastrophe, she will get her brother out of his crib, change his diaper, and have his shoes on him ready to strap him into the car seat faster than I could do those same things. She is a perfectionist. She LISTENS. And I mean this....to EVERYTHING. She knows the comings and goings of every single person in this house, in her class at school, and basically within eavesdropping distance. "Hey Mom, you know Mrs. Tucker at school? Her grandfather had a heart attack yesterday and they rushed him to the hospital in Nashville....you know, Vanderbilt?" Yeah...THAT kind of listener (and tattletale). Now, this can be a blessing. But also a curse when you mizx it with her NEXT attribute: freakishly good memory. If you SAY something...by golly you better be set and ready to FOLLOW THROUGH. Because her dogged nature to badger you into the ground until you "DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO!" will finally drag you down. Fact. She is a hoarder. I have told her so....and even made her watch an episode of that reality show in order to talk her into letting me FINALLY throw away every single treat bag from every single birthday party that she has even been too. Exhausting. And....as the oldest...she is ALWAYS right. Despite the fact that I taught kindergarten-1st grade for 3 years and then 3rd-4th grade with a science and writing emphasis for 6 years, she is QUICK to remind me that I DID NOT EVER teach 2nd grade. So, I do NOT know what I am talking about 99% of the time. Case in point...the arguement we had in the car on the way to school about how her teacher told her about some "hill" we have that keeps us from having many tornadoes....I hadn't the heart to tell her that we get a freaking LOT of tornadoes...but I did tell her that I had never heard of this hill and was pretty sure that wouldn't help with a tornado....strong buildings and homes are helpful. Her response? "Well, you obviously didn't STUDY that! Because it is TRUE! My teacher SAYS so!" Okey doke. Then, her final quirk....over emotional. After yelling at me, I just sit quietly after saying "OK"....and so begins the weeping apology. I tell her to calm down. I forgive her for yelling at me. She does not believe this. I explain she is my daughter I will always love and forgive her. She yells "Let's just FORGET the last minute of our lives! Forget the last minute, OK!?!?!" Okay......weirdo.
Middle Child: 6 year old: girl -- classic "can I slip under your radar" type of gal. I am already examining the house for areas that she might be able to breach the house alarm and sneek out as a teenager to meet boys in the neighborhood. I am not stupid. She is the most fun loving, laid back kid. NOTHING gets to her...except getting in trouble. She is not a fan of that....especially getting yelled at...that kills her. Outside of that, no punishment even carries weight. Take away her computer time? No problem. "I had school today and knew I had dance this afternoon...there was really no time for computer anyway." Really? This is also my laziest child. Tell her 15 times to put away ONE book....she will finally begrudgingly take it to her room....where you will later find it laying in the middle of the floor...in FRONT of the bookshelf. Because actually putting it ON the shelf...takes waaaaay too much effort. She has also learned that her big sister is SO annoyed by this quirk of hers that if she holds out long enough big sis will do her work FOR her. Big sister will eventually complain but MAKE the bed b/c she is tired of hearing me ask about it. Not a care in the world about extracurricular activities....not a care in the world about how she wants her hair fixed...will often come home with a new hair do no matter what I try in the morning anyway. Homework is PULLING TEETH. It could come sooooo easily for her if she put as much effort into DOING the work as she does AVOIDING it. Whining, pouting, bathrooming, snacking, staring at TV instead of DOING the work...all issues. Is she just as smart as big sis who whips through work on her own? Yep. Does she CARE? Nope. Not one bit. But, my personal favorite quirk is her comedic timing. She knows JUST what to say...when to say it...and how to deliver it for maximum effect. She knows what to say to get to big sister's jugular.... "Is she crying AGAIN? Really?" always within each shot of a weeping big sister. Or when she punked me after prayers one night when I asked God to please help my children learn to treat each other they way they would want to be treated....and she looked square at me and said "Well, YOU don't do that. You yell at us...and I am pretty sure you don't want US yelling at you!" Touche, middle child, touche. We agreed that everyone in our house had things they needed to pray about and work on....mine was yelling too much....hers was excessive laziness that CAUSES me to yell too much. Am also prettty sure this middle child is a compulsive liar. That is yet to be proven. But all signs point to yes at this point.
Youngest child: 2.5 year old: boy -- I can probably stop with just "boy"...because that is a whole new creature all together. But, again, quirks. This kid is a monkey...daredevil...afraid of nothing. Walk into the kitchen? Prob find him standing on the table. He fell off a plastic riding toy in the house two days ago...because he was STANDING on it. Really? Constantly covered in bruises, cuts, already had stitches once...am certain Child Protective Services would be concerned if they got a good look at him. Sees a ball and throws it, hits it, kicks it. Sees something tall? Climbs it and prob tries to jump from it. My fave quirk: definitely the most genuinely AFFECTIONATE of my children. Will ask me if I am OK when I stub my toe....hugs me for no reason...tells me he loves me as he passes through the room. He also loves Toy Story and Cars....which is fine, for A WHILE. And then when both you and your 2 year old can recite Toy Story 1, 2, and 3 by heart as well as Cars.....you start begging for the soon to be released Cars 2. Sad. Third child does get away with more....he's the baby. But, I will openly admit he might also be a compulsive liar. "Hey, did you poop?" Him: "Nope." Me: "Well, I can smell you from here. Nice try....let's go, big guy."
Oh many a quirk, many a difference in my children....but that is what makes them each AMAZING and PERFECT....for me, not necessarily for their 4th grade teachers who I will TOTALLY believe when they call with the news that one of them bit another child and then spit in the teacher's face....
Happy Day, all!
xoxo
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