Bunco!

So last night was Bunco night.  I know this makes me sound OLD....well, people, that's because I AM old.  I look forward to the night out to have good food, good drink, and good discussion with good friends -- all who are old enough to cut their own food.  AND our hostesses for the night made it a Derby theme so I got to wear my fascinator!  I was once again the Duchess of Cambridge...I mean, when else is that dang thing going to see the light of day?  Never.

Let us start by stating for the record...my bunco group is FUN.  I think we might be a little more rowdy than most bunco groups.  AND just to really mix things up a bit, last night we combined with ANOTHER bunco group.  We are totally able to integrate...look at us!  And let us also state for the record that the group we integrated with might NOT be quite as rowdy as us.  Like, in general, I am not sure that this group NEEDS designated drivers that rotate...like we do.  Plus, get real other "bunco group"...you are NOT a "bunco group" because you DO NOT PLAY BUNCO.  You eat, drink, and talk...which I fully support.  Now, let's work on just calling a spade a spade and call you a "supper club" :-)   My group plays and we even have a member hereforth known as "Mamaw"...because that is really what we call her...NOT because of her age but because, by golly, at 8:00 she is gonna RING that bell and some bunco is getting played.  One round....then she is going home and going to bed.  Period.  End of discussion.

Well, I was a designated driver last night so I got to take in the integration scene from a totally pure and sober view.  *gasp*...I know.  But, it was FABULOUS!  So many flipping FUNNY people in one place.  People I know but don't see often, people who make me laugh until my sides split, some who drink, others who don't, some people I got to meet for the first time.  It was all EXTREMELY refreshing and fun.  Plus it is WAY more fun to listen to others slur as they are explaining why they are leaving "early". HA!

Things I learned at Bunco last night:

1.  People actually read this blog! Bahahah!  AND the word "shan't" is a HIT.  First questions, why are you using the word shan't? and Who is this person we know who doesn't have a DVR?  Of course, I would never have busted this person....had she not been sitting at my table at the moment and busted herself.  Extremely funny.  So much for anonimity!  The history of the word "shan't" is relatively boring...but funny if you have had a couple of cocktails.  Might want to go get one now.  My friend was on vacation with her hubby and her sister/brother in law.  I knew they were out drinking and having fun and NOT with children.  So, I texted my friend and said something along the lines of  "Assignment for you and your sister tonight: use the word "shan't" in a sentence when speaking to a complete stranger....must be done with a straight face.  Report back when deed has been completed."  Well, my special friend and her sister commence to PRACTICING how to properly use the word "shan't" in a normal conversation without laughing....and finally at dinner when the waiter comes up to ask if they want some more wine (or food, but I am betting wine...), the response was of course, "We shan't be having any more tonight."  To which the waiter never batted and eye and walked away....meaning what?  I guess that he hears this word often.  LOL!

2.  There are people reading this blog who are trying to post a response...and the responses are NOT showing up.  This is a terrible tragedy b/c the person who had been trying to post had some FANTASTIC banter that really needs to be heard.  Like, when I was bashing extreme couponers, she tried to post that I better zip my lip b/c she had a $6.00 off coupon for Miralax that I'd be crawling to her on hands and knees for pretty soon if things kept up with my 6 year's GI tract!  She then of course tried to tell me she is NOT that extreme of a couponer....just gets borderline depressed if she doesn't save at LEAST a third off retail when she shops.  Nooooo she is not extreme at ALL!!!!!! *sarcasm*

This same witty friend of mine also tried to post in response to my cell phone dilemma with "Jesus" that we should put together a "Used Cell Phone Drive" for Jesus.  I am not really sure of the dynamics of this or how it will play out.  But, it was freaking hilarious last night when she is telling me with a straight face that we can totally DO this....we all have old cell phones laying around...let's collect them and "well....give them to Jesus".  Oh, a definite highlight!

3.  The witty friend mentioned above should TOTALLY have a blog of her own.  She needs to take her material on the ROAD.  For instance, I told her I would steal this story as my own, but NO....she deserves  comedic credit where it is due!  She called her lawn service and asked them to come and cut the lawn yesterday....she was a bunco hostess.  When they arrived, she starts giving very specific orders to lawnmen of seemingly Hispanic backgroung.  "Trim around the bushes, blow grass off the porch and sidewalk, edge, ......and if you come back tonight at 6:00 wearing a bikini and serve drinks to my friends I will totally pay you....and you will get great tips.  Good money, I am just saying."  Her....expecting some sort of "No hablo" response says that she is instead greeted with looks of TOTAL mortification....they are now OFFICIALLY scared of her.  So, she laughs it off, I mean it WAS a joke (sort of)...but the BEST is the fact that her male neighbor HEARS her say this to these young men and calls her over....AND gives her the what for!  Bahahah!  "Did I really just hear you say that to those young men?  Those are GOOD Christian boys.... that one is a senior at UK, they both ride to church EVERY Sunday with my brother."  EXCELLENT!  But does this stop my hostess with the mostest?  Hell to the no.  She straight faces him with "Well, this is nothing compared to my old bunco group where we ended the night skinny dipping in the nearest pool."  To which her neighbor then OFFERS to "get out a blow up pool for us".  BAhahaha!  This explained why she put a plastic pool in her backyard during our bunco party....it's just not enough to harass the lawn men....you must screw with your neighbor's head too. 

Do you SEE why I love bunco?  Fantastic, I tell you.  Excellent stories...excellent memories....that is, when I am the driver for the month ;-)

Have a happy day all!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxox