So, yeah, it's been forevahhhh since I have written. I have been in what I like to describe as my "mommy cocoon". My family has needed me and between that and all the prime time shows on DVR that REQUIRE me to watch them...well, my agenda is just full. Seriously people, SOMEBODY has to watch Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, The New Girl, Glee, Apartment 23, Grey's Anatomy, etc..... I mean, how else are they going to get RENEWED, people?? I am just trying to save jobs.
But, I digress....
Today I decided it is time to give credit where credit is due. I live in a small community. But my community has some amazing things happening. I really feel like I am surrounded by amazing people at every turn.
My husband and I are trying our best to raise sane, smart, independent, well-rounded children (2 girls and one boy to be specific). Our wild man is only 4 years old and thinks the world revolves around him -- he will outgrow this right? But, my girls are already on high alert. They are always looking...watching...listening as girls always do...to those around them. They are sneaky peeky spying on us parents, their babysitters, the teens they encounter every day, and the peers they encounter everyday. They are at ages 7 and 10 very mallable and are indeed forming into the women they will become. They may not WANT to admit they are listening and taking notes -- but they are.
It is with great happiness that I can say my community is PACKED with positive female role models. You know most of the time parents are busy berating the likes of Disney personalities and celebrities like Taylor Swift, nit-picking what they do well/do not do well on their pedestal of fame. But, I truly think that my girls are more affected by the people they see on a daily basis...have personal contact with at school, church, home, dance class, piano class, playdates, and while mom and dad are away and they get to chat up a babysitter.
Here is a note to ALL TEENS that come in contact with kids (so, basically all of you!):
THANK YOU! Whether you know it or not, you ARE a role model. There is not a moment that goes by where there is not some little girl or boy in the corner listening to your every word, learning how to behave, waiting for you to recognize and call them by name, treat them special in some way. I know that sounds like you live in a fishbowl. But, we all kinda do! Sure....people like famous singers and actors get paid a lot more and get a lot more flack to be role models, but all teens have the chance to make a difference in the life of a child or young adult. And here's another secret...we parents notice when you make a difference to our children. When you call them by name, make a sweet comment about something they have done well, compliment them in anyway...we notice, and we are IMPRESSED. I can only speak through the eyes of a mom of two dancers (we all know their interests can change in the drop of a hat...but for now, dance it is)....my 10 and 7 year olds have printed pics of ALL of their "idols" from the local dance company and have wallpapered their bedroom walls. They keep pictures of treasured and loved babysitters framed in their rooms, on their bathroom mirror, and in the hallway. If you dance or teach dance in our community, you know I am talking to you. Just know that your smiles and kind words to EVERY little boy or girl that you pass backstage really DOES mean the world to them. It makes them feel unique.
I am not naive enough to think my little city is a dance bubble. We have amazing girl role models EVERYWHERE. Ever heard of Becca Greenwell? No? Google her. Amazing. Every little basketball playin girl loves and adores her...they look for her at church, in the community, they want to BE her. Swimmers? We have AMAZING teen role models that make my jaw drop at every summer swim meet. It's the same with every single sport, hobby, talent....teens, you ARE someone's idol whether you want to be or not. Just work to encourage the little people around you. Take time to learn their names...talk to them...smile at them. You have NO IDEA what an impact you are making.
In every sport, hobby, interest, you will find kids who have uniquenesses...maybe they are on the autism spectrum? Have a learning disability? Have anxiety and depression? Are being abused at home? Have a parent with a terminal disease? Maybe they are introverted? Maybe they are being bullied? Maybe they are the bullies? Bottomline: you may NEVER enven KNOW that makes them unique! Whatever the "unique situation"...your simple smile, acknowledgement to these kids could be THE thing they are needing at that moment.
I was a teenager once. I get it. You do not WANT the pressure of being a role model AND a person who is trying to figure out what kind of adult they want to be at the same time. But, I am here to be your cheering section....I am here to tell the teens in MY community that you guys are ROCKING it. You are rocking it in church, in the symphony, the choir, the band, on the stage, behind the scenes, in the grades you made, in the dedication you show to your endeavors...whatever those may be! YOU are succeeding....and I hope my girls will one day remember what has been bestowed upon them and pay it forward. If that is the case, this little community of mine will be one HECK of a place full of positive, loving, dedicated kids. Will they the the BEST at everything they do? Nope. Will they be proud of the time and effort they put forward to BE the best person they can be? I think so!
It's not just Taylor Swift who has this "magical power" over young adults....every teen can change a life. And, hey....adults you can too ;-) But, I am assuming you already know that (even though some of you like to curse like sailors in the presence of any aged child). I'll tell you all about adults influencing other adults in a positive way when I finally find time to blog about the amazing church Arise experience I had over the past few months.
Much love to you all!
Keep up the good work, teens! I think you are not given enough credit for being good role models. You may now take your bow :-)
xoxo Jennifer
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Never Judge a Mom by the Cover
In general, one of the things I love most about being a Catholic is the fact that when you go to church no one gives a rip about what you wear/how your hair is fixed/if you have on make up....they are just pretty darned happy that you are THERE. Maybe this is just our town? Or even just my church? But when I see a teeage girl still dirty and in her soccer gear sitting one pew over from an elderly lady when is wearing pink heels, pink pants, and what appears to the naked eye to be a pink snuggie (not exaggerating that outfit, it was hard to not notice it)....I gotta be honest....I don't bat an eye. Well, I CATCHES my eye...but the only true thought that enters my head is, "Dang! Glad they made it to church..." I mean if no one says anything to me at Saturday night Mass after I have had a chemical peel along the lines of, "HOLY SMOKES, Jen! Is your face falling off?" Well, you know they are pretty much not judging ANYONE for what they look like in church. Us Catholics just wantcha in the pews :-)
That said, there is another arena of life where I have found people to judge both themselves AND others waaaaaay too harshly....that that's us mothers. You know...when you get pregnant or start thinking about having children, people talk about how it is "the hardest job on Earth...but one you wouldn't trade for anything." It is amazing how true that is. Give me 24 of someone ELSE'S children and I'll teach them science, writing, reading, math, etc until the cows come home....but lay a hormonal 9 year old girl, 7 year old carefree gal, and 4 year old "Flash Gordon" son on me, and I am pretty much just praying that NONE of them grow up and become drug dealers. HOLY! Please, Lord, don't let me mess up these little angels you sent to me! Every single decision that you make....every single day....every single word out of your mouth...every single action -- they ALL have an affect on your children. We all know that and that just ADDS to the pressure.
One of my friends has a motto that I LOVE, "Never judge another mother...you have NO idea what her day, her week, her life is like outside of that little window you see in the grocery store parking lot." Wow. Think about the truth behind that. I think that we, as moms (and dads too), put on a pretty good front most of the time. We smile; we carpool; we try to volunteer when we can; we send treats and snacks to school....but lots of times there are few, if ANY, people and friends that TRULY know what is on our hearts and minds.
It's easy to point a finger at another mom and say, "Look at what she did...." and rattle off a bunch of nonsense. So, my personal goal in the face of this is to STOP and THINK. Really? Maybe this mom who lost her mind in the Walmart parking lot just found out that her husband has cancer? Maybe one of her children has special needs? Maybe her spouse is cheating on her? Maybe she or her spouse has lost their job and now finances are in the gutter? Maybe someone in her family...maybe even she herself...is battling some sort of substance abuse problem? Maybe she is the glue holding it all together? Maybe she has a migraine? Maybe her own mother is falling into an Alzheimer's haze, and she is losing a little piece of her mom every day? Maybe her cousin just committed suicide? Really....the circumstances are endless.
We can not imagine what life is like for another just by looking at them from the outside. LOTS of people can slap on a smile in the midst of a hurricane...and literally pull the wool right over the eyes of even the closest of friends. Maybe that is how we are trained as women? To be strong....to push forward....because when the chips fall, what is the option? The kids still need to be fed, bathed, homework needs to be done, cross country/soccer/swimming/dance class/baseball practices and games must all be attended...with clean uniforms and attire in tow. Moms don't really have an "off" switch. It's a part of the job. A job, that most mothers, would never, ever trade for all the world.
So, as moms/women in general, can we cut each other just a little slack? We are ALL gonna have that moment in the grocery store parking lot....a minimum of one tantrumming child (if not more) and a WHOLE lot more on our invisible plate that we are juggling. Just remember your own moments when you see OTHERS have THEIR moments. They need your support and prayers a lot more than than they need your judgement.
Have a great week everyone!
xoxo Jennifer
That said, there is another arena of life where I have found people to judge both themselves AND others waaaaaay too harshly....that that's us mothers. You know...when you get pregnant or start thinking about having children, people talk about how it is "the hardest job on Earth...but one you wouldn't trade for anything." It is amazing how true that is. Give me 24 of someone ELSE'S children and I'll teach them science, writing, reading, math, etc until the cows come home....but lay a hormonal 9 year old girl, 7 year old carefree gal, and 4 year old "Flash Gordon" son on me, and I am pretty much just praying that NONE of them grow up and become drug dealers. HOLY! Please, Lord, don't let me mess up these little angels you sent to me! Every single decision that you make....every single day....every single word out of your mouth...every single action -- they ALL have an affect on your children. We all know that and that just ADDS to the pressure.
One of my friends has a motto that I LOVE, "Never judge another mother...you have NO idea what her day, her week, her life is like outside of that little window you see in the grocery store parking lot." Wow. Think about the truth behind that. I think that we, as moms (and dads too), put on a pretty good front most of the time. We smile; we carpool; we try to volunteer when we can; we send treats and snacks to school....but lots of times there are few, if ANY, people and friends that TRULY know what is on our hearts and minds.
It's easy to point a finger at another mom and say, "Look at what she did...." and rattle off a bunch of nonsense. So, my personal goal in the face of this is to STOP and THINK. Really? Maybe this mom who lost her mind in the Walmart parking lot just found out that her husband has cancer? Maybe one of her children has special needs? Maybe her spouse is cheating on her? Maybe she or her spouse has lost their job and now finances are in the gutter? Maybe someone in her family...maybe even she herself...is battling some sort of substance abuse problem? Maybe she is the glue holding it all together? Maybe she has a migraine? Maybe her own mother is falling into an Alzheimer's haze, and she is losing a little piece of her mom every day? Maybe her cousin just committed suicide? Really....the circumstances are endless.
We can not imagine what life is like for another just by looking at them from the outside. LOTS of people can slap on a smile in the midst of a hurricane...and literally pull the wool right over the eyes of even the closest of friends. Maybe that is how we are trained as women? To be strong....to push forward....because when the chips fall, what is the option? The kids still need to be fed, bathed, homework needs to be done, cross country/soccer/swimming/dance class/baseball practices and games must all be attended...with clean uniforms and attire in tow. Moms don't really have an "off" switch. It's a part of the job. A job, that most mothers, would never, ever trade for all the world.
So, as moms/women in general, can we cut each other just a little slack? We are ALL gonna have that moment in the grocery store parking lot....a minimum of one tantrumming child (if not more) and a WHOLE lot more on our invisible plate that we are juggling. Just remember your own moments when you see OTHERS have THEIR moments. They need your support and prayers a lot more than than they need your judgement.
Have a great week everyone!
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, August 20, 2012
Technology scares me...
So, let's get this straight...I am old. 37 at the end of this month. 3 kids in. Old. But I have come to terms that I am scared to death of technology.
OBVIOUSLY I am not scared about technology as far as I am concerned..,hello Facebook, blog, and twitter. But I am pertrified as to how technology with affect my children. Let's break down my fears:
1. I am unsure that most kids realize what they write on the internet is fair game. It can be taken the wrong way. It can hurt other's feelings. It can cause a sh*tstorm. I was a teen once...I get it...you FEEL invincible, but you are not. And I know as a parent that struggles not to "helicopter" that all I can do is steer my kids clear of social media for as long as possible...teach them how to lock down their privacy setting...and talk to the about how words are just as hurtful as fists. Do unto others. It is a lesson hard learned but one that must be passed onto the kids. Even if I have to site my own shortcomings.
2. Imagine 1993 (those old enough), I head off to UK. These are the days before cellphones were ANY sort of standard... Email. Not even a personal aol account until junior year in college. UK didn't even offer student accounts until my senior year, I think. The fact that I learned how to use power point at college was EPIC at my first job interview, Today? Students head off college with a trail of info behind them. They have NO chance to erase that past and move forward. When they head off to college, there is a good chance that both amazing and awful(probably untrue) info is following them on FB or twitter. It makes me sad. EVERYONE deserves the chance to find themselves/reinvent themselves in a new surrounding with new people. College is the beginning to of the rest of your life! It makes me sad that young people today head AWAY to college with a past. Boo!!!!!!!! I mean, i was the only person on my floor in the Theta house with a computer if you only knew how many nights/early mornings I awoke to my sweet sisters typing/printing term papers. Good times:) Blissfully ignorant, happy times.
3. There is just no way to stop the forward movement of technology...but please God help my kids know how to use it appropriately. To know what is appropriate to post...to not post...to say....to not say. Help them Not be the brunt of abuse of others...and most importantly, help them turn the other cheek and forgive when forgiveness is deserved.
Think about what you post/tweet/blog...think about those on the receiving end!
Xoxo Jennifer
OBVIOUSLY I am not scared about technology as far as I am concerned..,hello Facebook, blog, and twitter. But I am pertrified as to how technology with affect my children. Let's break down my fears:
1. I am unsure that most kids realize what they write on the internet is fair game. It can be taken the wrong way. It can hurt other's feelings. It can cause a sh*tstorm. I was a teen once...I get it...you FEEL invincible, but you are not. And I know as a parent that struggles not to "helicopter" that all I can do is steer my kids clear of social media for as long as possible...teach them how to lock down their privacy setting...and talk to the about how words are just as hurtful as fists. Do unto others. It is a lesson hard learned but one that must be passed onto the kids. Even if I have to site my own shortcomings.
2. Imagine 1993 (those old enough), I head off to UK. These are the days before cellphones were ANY sort of standard... Email. Not even a personal aol account until junior year in college. UK didn't even offer student accounts until my senior year, I think. The fact that I learned how to use power point at college was EPIC at my first job interview, Today? Students head off college with a trail of info behind them. They have NO chance to erase that past and move forward. When they head off to college, there is a good chance that both amazing and awful(probably untrue) info is following them on FB or twitter. It makes me sad. EVERYONE deserves the chance to find themselves/reinvent themselves in a new surrounding with new people. College is the beginning to of the rest of your life! It makes me sad that young people today head AWAY to college with a past. Boo!!!!!!!! I mean, i was the only person on my floor in the Theta house with a computer if you only knew how many nights/early mornings I awoke to my sweet sisters typing/printing term papers. Good times:) Blissfully ignorant, happy times.
3. There is just no way to stop the forward movement of technology...but please God help my kids know how to use it appropriately. To know what is appropriate to post...to not post...to say....to not say. Help them Not be the brunt of abuse of others...and most importantly, help them turn the other cheek and forgive when forgiveness is deserved.
Think about what you post/tweet/blog...think about those on the receiving end!
Xoxo Jennifer
Saturday, July 7, 2012
The Women's Locker Room
My husband made a VERY astute observation about me yesterday. He said, "I mean, I TRY to keep everything about me private....whereas you LOOK for stuff in your daily life to put on the internet for everyone to read." Well...BRAVO. Only took him 15 years of marriage + 4 years of courtship to realize that he is in a relationship with a person who loves to WRITE about THINGS IN MY LIFE. HA! Quite the observer. I DID tell him that I never reveal things about him PERSONALLY on my FB page or twitter or blog (which is true...I am not talking about his golf scores or his work clients or the arguements we may or may not have had) but to truly get a full perspective of the awesomeness that he is...I HAD to share that conversation.
Now..onto more important things.
I went to the gym yesterday. (yes, go ahead with your collective gasps...since the friend who was mowing my yard might or might NOT have just hinted to me today that he thinks I am pregnant...which I AM NOT). Got my arse kicked in a spinning class. Which is really a WHOLE other blog. I have decided that if you just took AUDIO from this class (the things the instructor is saying to us and all of our collective panting and groaning and cursing) that it could easily pass for a scene from a bad prono or a scene from Shades of Grey at the very least. I digress...
This is a class that MUST be followed up with a shower. Nasty, sweaty class. And I did not want to drive all the way home since I had errands to run right around the gym area. So, I take one for the team and pack up to shower at the gym.
Now, listen, I may have written about this in a blog before. I can not remember. And I am way too lazy to go back and look....but this visit was especially brutal.
I have always considered women to be the more "modest" of the sexes. Well...if that is the case then I cringe to think about what is happening over in the men's locker rooms.
Here's a list of things that irked me on this visit to the ladies locker room:
1. PLEASE people...wear shower shoes! It is a community shower. Just because you have your own shower stall doesn't mean the person in there BEFORE you was not all skanky-footed. Just remind yourself what it was like when you went off to college and had to shower there...damn right I'll bet you had shower shoes. This is NOT different.
2. The community hot tub/therapy tub....ugh! Listen...hot tubs in general creep me out. They are just nasty pools of germs as far as I am concerned, but when I see 6 older ladies all piled up in their talking bunions and bursitis, well, I am just sent right into an OCD frenzy.
3. I get it...the older women get, they more "OK" we are with our bodies. I mean, I told a friend this year that I KNEW I was getting older when I looked in the mirror at myself in a bathing suit and said, "Yep, this is the best I can do..." and walked right out. BUT...ladies....let is not get SOOOO comfy that we just let it all hang out in the locker room. Grab a towel, a spa wrap, I am even OK with just a bra and granny panties....but PUT SOMETHING ON. Reach down deep and grab that last ounce of modesty you have...then use it...in the locker room. Please.
4. People who sit in the locker room -- preworkout, postworkout, or just killing time so they can TELL people they worked out -- and watch tv...in the locker room. Now, this wouldn't both me AS much if the chairs and sofas were all leather or pleather. THEY ARE NOT. They are upholstered. Now listen...most of the time people sitting there are clothed...but NOT ALWAYS. So, what is IN those cushions? I really don't like my mind to wander in that direction. But, it scares me. I about lost it yesterday when a lady was sitting their watching her "soap opera" (fully clothed, thank goodness) when I started drying my hair. All of a sudden, I realize that I can hear the tv OVER the hair dryer that is right next to my ear. Yep, lady cranked up the TV. But it gets better...I had INTENTIONALLy waited until a commercial set to start drying my hair. So, she was blasting eardrums in order to watch commercials! Truth. Dead truth. The second her show was back on, I stopped drying my hair and she returned the volume to a normal level. Crazy town.
5. Creepers and Peepers. I am super modest about dressing/undressing in front of others. So, I am kind of like Houdini in the locker room. I am out of my spa wrap and totally dressed in 5.7 seconds. So on this day, I quick change into a little tank dress. And an older lady who is two lockers down passes by me on her way out and says, "That sure is a cute dress." How nice! *note to self: wear this dress more often* I reply with a simple, "Thanks so much!" To which she retorts....and I QUOTE, "It looked really easy to get on as well." Hold up! Wait! Push it back! Here we go.... I think I stammered something akin to, "Yeeeaaahhh....I just step in and yank it right up....bye now." But, the truth was lingering there in the air...the lady had been watching me dress! And in those 5.7 seconds she determined that she liked the look of my clothing AND that it was easy to put on my body. Helllllo stalky stalkerson.
So, an open invite to my friends....if I EVER lose my modesty in the gym locker room, please call me on it. I mean, as it stands, I try to touch as FEW surfaces as possible while in there...I just can never imagine the day that I prance around in the buff sitting on upholstered furniture. I mean...NO...not in my repertoire. However, ladies out there...if I ever BECOME this person, just tranquilizer gun my naked ass, throw me into a spa wrap, and drag me out of there for good. It will be for the betterment of the younger generation, and I will happily take one for the team if someone needs to be made example of in my older years.
Much love and happy weekend, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Now..onto more important things.
I went to the gym yesterday. (yes, go ahead with your collective gasps...since the friend who was mowing my yard might or might NOT have just hinted to me today that he thinks I am pregnant...which I AM NOT). Got my arse kicked in a spinning class. Which is really a WHOLE other blog. I have decided that if you just took AUDIO from this class (the things the instructor is saying to us and all of our collective panting and groaning and cursing) that it could easily pass for a scene from a bad prono or a scene from Shades of Grey at the very least. I digress...
This is a class that MUST be followed up with a shower. Nasty, sweaty class. And I did not want to drive all the way home since I had errands to run right around the gym area. So, I take one for the team and pack up to shower at the gym.
Now, listen, I may have written about this in a blog before. I can not remember. And I am way too lazy to go back and look....but this visit was especially brutal.
I have always considered women to be the more "modest" of the sexes. Well...if that is the case then I cringe to think about what is happening over in the men's locker rooms.
Here's a list of things that irked me on this visit to the ladies locker room:
1. PLEASE people...wear shower shoes! It is a community shower. Just because you have your own shower stall doesn't mean the person in there BEFORE you was not all skanky-footed. Just remind yourself what it was like when you went off to college and had to shower there...damn right I'll bet you had shower shoes. This is NOT different.
2. The community hot tub/therapy tub....ugh! Listen...hot tubs in general creep me out. They are just nasty pools of germs as far as I am concerned, but when I see 6 older ladies all piled up in their talking bunions and bursitis, well, I am just sent right into an OCD frenzy.
3. I get it...the older women get, they more "OK" we are with our bodies. I mean, I told a friend this year that I KNEW I was getting older when I looked in the mirror at myself in a bathing suit and said, "Yep, this is the best I can do..." and walked right out. BUT...ladies....let is not get SOOOO comfy that we just let it all hang out in the locker room. Grab a towel, a spa wrap, I am even OK with just a bra and granny panties....but PUT SOMETHING ON. Reach down deep and grab that last ounce of modesty you have...then use it...in the locker room. Please.
4. People who sit in the locker room -- preworkout, postworkout, or just killing time so they can TELL people they worked out -- and watch tv...in the locker room. Now, this wouldn't both me AS much if the chairs and sofas were all leather or pleather. THEY ARE NOT. They are upholstered. Now listen...most of the time people sitting there are clothed...but NOT ALWAYS. So, what is IN those cushions? I really don't like my mind to wander in that direction. But, it scares me. I about lost it yesterday when a lady was sitting their watching her "soap opera" (fully clothed, thank goodness) when I started drying my hair. All of a sudden, I realize that I can hear the tv OVER the hair dryer that is right next to my ear. Yep, lady cranked up the TV. But it gets better...I had INTENTIONALLy waited until a commercial set to start drying my hair. So, she was blasting eardrums in order to watch commercials! Truth. Dead truth. The second her show was back on, I stopped drying my hair and she returned the volume to a normal level. Crazy town.
5. Creepers and Peepers. I am super modest about dressing/undressing in front of others. So, I am kind of like Houdini in the locker room. I am out of my spa wrap and totally dressed in 5.7 seconds. So on this day, I quick change into a little tank dress. And an older lady who is two lockers down passes by me on her way out and says, "That sure is a cute dress." How nice! *note to self: wear this dress more often* I reply with a simple, "Thanks so much!" To which she retorts....and I QUOTE, "It looked really easy to get on as well." Hold up! Wait! Push it back! Here we go.... I think I stammered something akin to, "Yeeeaaahhh....I just step in and yank it right up....bye now." But, the truth was lingering there in the air...the lady had been watching me dress! And in those 5.7 seconds she determined that she liked the look of my clothing AND that it was easy to put on my body. Helllllo stalky stalkerson.
So, an open invite to my friends....if I EVER lose my modesty in the gym locker room, please call me on it. I mean, as it stands, I try to touch as FEW surfaces as possible while in there...I just can never imagine the day that I prance around in the buff sitting on upholstered furniture. I mean...NO...not in my repertoire. However, ladies out there...if I ever BECOME this person, just tranquilizer gun my naked ass, throw me into a spa wrap, and drag me out of there for good. It will be for the betterment of the younger generation, and I will happily take one for the team if someone needs to be made example of in my older years.
Much love and happy weekend, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Saturday, June 23, 2012
What I Do Not Understand About Little Boys
So, after having two little girls...I was blessed to complete our family with baby #3, a boy. That was nearly 4 years ago (time really does fly!). And I knew from the get-go...from all the things that my friends had told me...that "Boys are different! Just you wait!" Yes, there have been the typical things that I anticipated that make my son different to raise from my girls: jumping off furniture or any high place for no apparent reason, a "no fear" approach to daily life, a desire to spend a LOT of time outside even in 100 degree heat. But, there have been LOTS of surprises along the way...things that I just can not and probably will not ever understand. This is what we shall discuss today, you guys feel free to add to my list b/c I am just finally sitting down to write this off the cuff and KNOW that I will miss a lot of funny stuff that boys, in general, do:
1. When my girls were born, I most certainly had an overwhelming love and protective sense that kicked in. But I remember a friend telling me, "Oh...just you wait...when you finally hold that little boy and look down at him...you will make a promise to him that the FIRST mean girls who breaks his heart is gonna PAY. That you will protect him from all the mean, manipulative things that girls do....that you will chase that girl down and threaten her - or worse - if need be." And I gotta say, yep, I will. She was right. So, future girlfriends of my son...this is your fair warning. Be nice to my boy. I had no idea he would have this affect on me.
2. Potty training: what....the...heck? Well, there are just no words. No one really prepared a mom who has raised two girls about how to go about this whole potty training a boy business. First problem: do you start with them sitting or standing? We started with the sit...and he learned relatively quickly, which was great. BUT, somehow, I am really do not KNOW how....he could still manage to shoot pee STRAIGHT between the toilet seat crack and hit me, himself, the wall, the floor, and anything else in a 10 foot range. Ok...that is a failure. So, we moved on to trying the stand and pee. HA!
a. Little boys have big bellies and tiny little penises...ones they can not really properly see or grab to aim. Hence more firehosing the bathroom. b. During this endeavor is when I discovered that my son was not the kid who could just stand with his hands on his hips in front of the toilet and the pee actually hit the mark. Yep...the stream literally shoots like a LASER beam, and at break neck speed, it shoots up and to the left. WHAT? Of course, I am all certain we need to see a urologist...this is just NOT right. Even my hubby says, "What is UP with that thing? Even I can't help him aim it....it's like a craps shoot! Who knows where the pee is gonna come from and end up??" HA! So, I call my friend (mom of 3...soon to be 4....boys) and express my concerns about my lil guy's business. Her astute observation went something like this: "Jennifer, there are varying degrees of normal. Get over it. Take him outside and have him pee without touching his penis. If the pee stream does not hit him in the face, you are good to go." Oh, really? Huh. Who knew? So, yes, we did this. No pee to the face, so we are banking that we are just in the range of normal. At this point I am just hoping that as an adult...you know... body parts lengthen and get lowered so that the stream is even a bit CLOSER to normal. So, we still must sit to pee (unless a large urinal is available) - the snafu is that he will NOT aim it DOWN. I actually was in the middle of cooking dinner when he said he REALLY had to go to the bathroom. I asked one of his older sisters to take him...and said, "Just tell him to aim his penis down" They were within earshot and when she told him to do this his reaction was priceless and one of complete shock, "What? I am not touching my penis. That's disgusting!" Mmhmm...we'll see about that in a few more years.
3. Which brings us to our next conundrum: Are boys BORN knowing to watch TV with their hands down their pants? On any given day, during his TV time, you can find my son laying in front of the tv in one of two positions. The first I call "business-like"...hands folded behind his head, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. He looks a little like I would imagine a skinny Donald Trump would look like if he were laying on the beach getting ready to "Fire" someone. The second is the Al Bundy. Feet still crossed at ankles and BOTH hands (not one) down the front of his pants. NO one taught him this exquisite skill...he just discovered it all on his own. Classy.
4. I never knew so many every day household items could become weapons....spoons, books, wooden train tracks, and even fairy wands that belong to the girls can easily become swords, lightsabers, guns. There is always a fight between good and evil in this house...someone is always sword fighting or getting tackled or beaten up. And my son is just pushing 4...I am prettty sure this is going to get a lot worse before it gets channeled through organized sports!
5. Monochromatic Man: I will not take credit for this title. I discussed this boy issue with my pediatrician ( a good friend) and she had coined the phrase. But, since then, I have discovered that our boys are not the ONLY ones that suffer from this problem. Here is the deal: if my son puts on blue shorts, he wants a blue shirt. See? Blue and blue matches. It does not matter the SHADE of blue...or the fact that it does not at ALL match...the the top is one color the bottom must be in that same color spectrum. It is hilarious. Red on red. Orange on orange. I rarely fight this battle...and did not fight it the day we were at the peditrician's office where she got to see the blue on blue he had chosen that day. I said, "Obviously I let him dress himself today." And her quick reponse was, "Well, obvisouly ... because blue and blue matches." Her son does the same thing. And my other friend just sent me a pic of her son at tennis clinc...he had obviously dressed himself...and she just titled it "monochromatic man". Yep....blue from head to toe. Us moms have to pick our battles...but now we at least have an idea that lots of men are fashionably inept from birth.
With all the crazy that comes from this little man in my house...there also comes a LOT of love. He loves his mommy (at least for now) with a love that can't be compared. I am a lucky gal, indeed!
I know I am missing a ton of "What the Heck?"s where boys are concerned, y'all fell free to fill in my blanks! :-)
Have a great day all!
xoxo
1. When my girls were born, I most certainly had an overwhelming love and protective sense that kicked in. But I remember a friend telling me, "Oh...just you wait...when you finally hold that little boy and look down at him...you will make a promise to him that the FIRST mean girls who breaks his heart is gonna PAY. That you will protect him from all the mean, manipulative things that girls do....that you will chase that girl down and threaten her - or worse - if need be." And I gotta say, yep, I will. She was right. So, future girlfriends of my son...this is your fair warning. Be nice to my boy. I had no idea he would have this affect on me.
2. Potty training: what....the...heck? Well, there are just no words. No one really prepared a mom who has raised two girls about how to go about this whole potty training a boy business. First problem: do you start with them sitting or standing? We started with the sit...and he learned relatively quickly, which was great. BUT, somehow, I am really do not KNOW how....he could still manage to shoot pee STRAIGHT between the toilet seat crack and hit me, himself, the wall, the floor, and anything else in a 10 foot range. Ok...that is a failure. So, we moved on to trying the stand and pee. HA!
a. Little boys have big bellies and tiny little penises...ones they can not really properly see or grab to aim. Hence more firehosing the bathroom. b. During this endeavor is when I discovered that my son was not the kid who could just stand with his hands on his hips in front of the toilet and the pee actually hit the mark. Yep...the stream literally shoots like a LASER beam, and at break neck speed, it shoots up and to the left. WHAT? Of course, I am all certain we need to see a urologist...this is just NOT right. Even my hubby says, "What is UP with that thing? Even I can't help him aim it....it's like a craps shoot! Who knows where the pee is gonna come from and end up??" HA! So, I call my friend (mom of 3...soon to be 4....boys) and express my concerns about my lil guy's business. Her astute observation went something like this: "Jennifer, there are varying degrees of normal. Get over it. Take him outside and have him pee without touching his penis. If the pee stream does not hit him in the face, you are good to go." Oh, really? Huh. Who knew? So, yes, we did this. No pee to the face, so we are banking that we are just in the range of normal. At this point I am just hoping that as an adult...you know... body parts lengthen and get lowered so that the stream is even a bit CLOSER to normal. So, we still must sit to pee (unless a large urinal is available) - the snafu is that he will NOT aim it DOWN. I actually was in the middle of cooking dinner when he said he REALLY had to go to the bathroom. I asked one of his older sisters to take him...and said, "Just tell him to aim his penis down" They were within earshot and when she told him to do this his reaction was priceless and one of complete shock, "What? I am not touching my penis. That's disgusting!" Mmhmm...we'll see about that in a few more years.
3. Which brings us to our next conundrum: Are boys BORN knowing to watch TV with their hands down their pants? On any given day, during his TV time, you can find my son laying in front of the tv in one of two positions. The first I call "business-like"...hands folded behind his head, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. He looks a little like I would imagine a skinny Donald Trump would look like if he were laying on the beach getting ready to "Fire" someone. The second is the Al Bundy. Feet still crossed at ankles and BOTH hands (not one) down the front of his pants. NO one taught him this exquisite skill...he just discovered it all on his own. Classy.
4. I never knew so many every day household items could become weapons....spoons, books, wooden train tracks, and even fairy wands that belong to the girls can easily become swords, lightsabers, guns. There is always a fight between good and evil in this house...someone is always sword fighting or getting tackled or beaten up. And my son is just pushing 4...I am prettty sure this is going to get a lot worse before it gets channeled through organized sports!
5. Monochromatic Man: I will not take credit for this title. I discussed this boy issue with my pediatrician ( a good friend) and she had coined the phrase. But, since then, I have discovered that our boys are not the ONLY ones that suffer from this problem. Here is the deal: if my son puts on blue shorts, he wants a blue shirt. See? Blue and blue matches. It does not matter the SHADE of blue...or the fact that it does not at ALL match...the the top is one color the bottom must be in that same color spectrum. It is hilarious. Red on red. Orange on orange. I rarely fight this battle...and did not fight it the day we were at the peditrician's office where she got to see the blue on blue he had chosen that day. I said, "Obviously I let him dress himself today." And her quick reponse was, "Well, obvisouly ... because blue and blue matches." Her son does the same thing. And my other friend just sent me a pic of her son at tennis clinc...he had obviously dressed himself...and she just titled it "monochromatic man". Yep....blue from head to toe. Us moms have to pick our battles...but now we at least have an idea that lots of men are fashionably inept from birth.
With all the crazy that comes from this little man in my house...there also comes a LOT of love. He loves his mommy (at least for now) with a love that can't be compared. I am a lucky gal, indeed!
I know I am missing a ton of "What the Heck?"s where boys are concerned, y'all fell free to fill in my blanks! :-)
Have a great day all!
xoxo
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Why I Never Get a Church Directory
I do not care what you say...church directory pictures are a DISASTER waiting to happen. The last time my church had directory pictures, I never even bothered to go and pick up a directory. I wanted NO reminder of how horrid that picture was (yes, Stephanie, I am FULLY expecting you to now dig that bastard up and post it to FB...bring it...it will only prove my point!). Here's what I remember about that picture session:
It was LOOOOOONG... we had to wait to get the pics taken, we had to wait to see the pictures, we had 2 children who were NOT cooperative, we were getting our pictures taken in WINTER and were paler than pale, we had to choose a picture that was heinous of everyone because it was the only one where we were all looking at the camera. I remember I looked like a freaking whale in the picture. Olan Mills was in charge -- nothing against Olan Mills...but it was bad, bad, bad. Haven't we ALL see the viral emails "Bad Family Pics" that are ALL from old Olan Mills pictures. And, the bottomline is that I did not want to even KEEP a copy of that directory in my house. Never picked one up...just figured I would learn people's faces AT CHURCH. FYI: I am still surprised when I hear someone I didn't know was a member of my church MENTION being a member...there are too many masses and some I never attend (7 am or Sunday nights? Nope...not seeing those crews...). So, yeah, still "learning" who all goes to my church (the church I have gone to my whole Catholic life, was married in, etc....)
Cut to 2012...The Year of the Church Directory. Yep, it's that time again.
Ho boy. So....let's start with aesthetics. Last week was Spring Break. So, actually, it is GREAT timing for church pics. Most people are all sunkissed...if they did not go to Florida or another sunny, beachy destination, the weather here in Kentucky was UH-MAZING for most of the week. So everyone is looking fine...not like the walking dead. That is...everyone except US. You see, if you have read ANY of my blogs, you know one thing....vacation = illness for our family. This break was no exception. My 7 year old got a heinous stomach virus...started getting sick on Monday and was in the hospital by Thursday. She stayed in the hospital on IV and anti-nausea meds for 48 hours...before returning home just in time for Easter, but still on meds. She missed her first day back to school because she was still recouping...and even when I sent her to school on Tuesday she was still as WHITE as a ghost. Paler than pale. And, since SHE was inside all week...we all were. So, I am pale, 3 year old is pale, 9 year old is pale. Only tan person in this house is my avid golfing hubby who is tan year-round.
Aesthetic problem #2: I have a 3 year old BOY. Boy...you heard that, right??? Yea, he ALWAYS has cuts, bruises, scrapes, stitches, etc. in visible areas. Well, this day is no different. Two days before the pics, he and big sister are running in the house (there is a rule against that, no???) and evidently there is an incident involving big sister and a kick and a "HI-YA!"...that ends with a goose egg/bruise/bledding scrape on the center of his forehead. Sweet.
OK, so onto picture day! I forge ahead with children who do not like their clothing options, hair options, do not want to stop watching Curious George to leave the house... we come to find that Olan Mills is indeed back to "making our magic happen". And that, again, they do not care that we have 3 small (including one VERY uncooperative 3 year old) children...they are going to take their old sweet time AND take 6 million pics. REALLY? Yep, really. AND they want us to wait to see them/choose the directory pic. AND they want to press the hard sale...you know the 16x20 canvas wall portrait (No, thank you, Olan Mills). I just want to pick out the horrid picture and go eat dinner!!!!!!
Note the last thing I said was "go eat dinner"...evidently I think this a LOT b/c I looked like a freaking puffed out/bloated frog in those pictures. I mean, it is bad when you get home and your husband says, "That scarf just blended into your paleness and made you look all puffy in the face." Excellent. Another one for the record books. And lesson learned...no scarves in pics.
So, when we finally drive it home to the sales guy that NO we are NOT getting any pictures and pick our directory photo...he asks if we want to pay the extra $16 for "touch ups" -- it will take out our blemishes, any coloring that is off, AND will air-brush out 3 year old's forehead mishap. My husband's response? "Um...no. That's HIS problem!"
Yep...yep it is. And it will be his problem in the church directory for another 5 years...poor banged up kid sitting on bloated Mommy's lap. Guess I will skip picking up the directory again. Either that, or I pick one up and search for pics that MUST be worse that ours....
Much love!
Have a great day, all!
xoxo Jennifer
It was LOOOOOONG... we had to wait to get the pics taken, we had to wait to see the pictures, we had 2 children who were NOT cooperative, we were getting our pictures taken in WINTER and were paler than pale, we had to choose a picture that was heinous of everyone because it was the only one where we were all looking at the camera. I remember I looked like a freaking whale in the picture. Olan Mills was in charge -- nothing against Olan Mills...but it was bad, bad, bad. Haven't we ALL see the viral emails "Bad Family Pics" that are ALL from old Olan Mills pictures. And, the bottomline is that I did not want to even KEEP a copy of that directory in my house. Never picked one up...just figured I would learn people's faces AT CHURCH. FYI: I am still surprised when I hear someone I didn't know was a member of my church MENTION being a member...there are too many masses and some I never attend (7 am or Sunday nights? Nope...not seeing those crews...). So, yeah, still "learning" who all goes to my church (the church I have gone to my whole Catholic life, was married in, etc....)
Cut to 2012...The Year of the Church Directory. Yep, it's that time again.
Ho boy. So....let's start with aesthetics. Last week was Spring Break. So, actually, it is GREAT timing for church pics. Most people are all sunkissed...if they did not go to Florida or another sunny, beachy destination, the weather here in Kentucky was UH-MAZING for most of the week. So everyone is looking fine...not like the walking dead. That is...everyone except US. You see, if you have read ANY of my blogs, you know one thing....vacation = illness for our family. This break was no exception. My 7 year old got a heinous stomach virus...started getting sick on Monday and was in the hospital by Thursday. She stayed in the hospital on IV and anti-nausea meds for 48 hours...before returning home just in time for Easter, but still on meds. She missed her first day back to school because she was still recouping...and even when I sent her to school on Tuesday she was still as WHITE as a ghost. Paler than pale. And, since SHE was inside all week...we all were. So, I am pale, 3 year old is pale, 9 year old is pale. Only tan person in this house is my avid golfing hubby who is tan year-round.
Aesthetic problem #2: I have a 3 year old BOY. Boy...you heard that, right??? Yea, he ALWAYS has cuts, bruises, scrapes, stitches, etc. in visible areas. Well, this day is no different. Two days before the pics, he and big sister are running in the house (there is a rule against that, no???) and evidently there is an incident involving big sister and a kick and a "HI-YA!"...that ends with a goose egg/bruise/bledding scrape on the center of his forehead. Sweet.
OK, so onto picture day! I forge ahead with children who do not like their clothing options, hair options, do not want to stop watching Curious George to leave the house... we come to find that Olan Mills is indeed back to "making our magic happen". And that, again, they do not care that we have 3 small (including one VERY uncooperative 3 year old) children...they are going to take their old sweet time AND take 6 million pics. REALLY? Yep, really. AND they want us to wait to see them/choose the directory pic. AND they want to press the hard sale...you know the 16x20 canvas wall portrait (No, thank you, Olan Mills). I just want to pick out the horrid picture and go eat dinner!!!!!!
Note the last thing I said was "go eat dinner"...evidently I think this a LOT b/c I looked like a freaking puffed out/bloated frog in those pictures. I mean, it is bad when you get home and your husband says, "That scarf just blended into your paleness and made you look all puffy in the face." Excellent. Another one for the record books. And lesson learned...no scarves in pics.
So, when we finally drive it home to the sales guy that NO we are NOT getting any pictures and pick our directory photo...he asks if we want to pay the extra $16 for "touch ups" -- it will take out our blemishes, any coloring that is off, AND will air-brush out 3 year old's forehead mishap. My husband's response? "Um...no. That's HIS problem!"
Yep...yep it is. And it will be his problem in the church directory for another 5 years...poor banged up kid sitting on bloated Mommy's lap. Guess I will skip picking up the directory again. Either that, or I pick one up and search for pics that MUST be worse that ours....
Much love!
Have a great day, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, March 30, 2012
Allowing Failure
In case you haven't noticed, this blog spills over into my personal/Mommy/human life...a LOT. Like....that is all it really is. Just a collection of all things strange, unbelievable, funny, and shocking that happen TO me and AROUND me. It's pretty scary the amount of material there is to pull from in a seemingly normal daily life!
So, since I have a 9 year old who acts like she is on preteen hormonal steroids and a 7 year old who hasn't one CARE in the world (here's looking at you, schoolwork!) and a 3 year old who just basically runs around giving me bruises on my legs from all the sword fighting we do....I have started reading some basic literature on how to deal with kids of all different ages/personalities. Does that mean I am reading parenting "How-To" books? Eh, maybe. But, we all know that READING about a situation is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different than facing that situation in real life and following through with a reaction that is appropriate (and in my case doesn't involve screaming at someone). But, I figure ANYTHING will help me at this point...I am surrounded by insanity anyway...what I am DOING does not really work, let's try a new approach. So, I set to reading.
One of the first catchphrases I have run across in SEVERAL different articles/books and I think even on the blog www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com is the term (and I LOVE it): HELICOPTER PARENT. It is a term used to describe the parent who is ALWAYS waiting in the wings to swoop down and save their kid from failing. Whether it is making a big deal when theier toddler skins their knee on the playground or races back to school to retrieve the forgotten backpack or is ready to take on the classroom teacher/principal because there is NO WAY their little angel cheated on that test, they always want their kid on the "Best" baseball/soccer/basketball team, they praise and praise their kiddos for every Accelerated Reader point (dang that AR system!) received....these parents are the ones that really help protect their children from any kind of failure.
Deep down, I think these parents (and I will be the FIRST to admit that I carry many of these qualities) have the BEST of intentions. They are doing their best to BE there for their children. But, the problem is...they are there TOO MUCH. Yep. That's possible. If our children are not allowed to fail...experience failure, its consequences, its emotional toll, and then learn to pick themselves up and push forward...then what exactly are we modeling for our kids? That when they get to college and get a "D" on the first English paper they write (because Mommy/Daddy were not there to proofread it) that they should just drop out of college????? Or that when they get their first job in sales and someone else out sells them by double-fold that it really isn't THEIR fault...change jobs...obviously that one was not for you! Please...please...please tell me this is not the generation of children we are raising.
I really want my kids to know if they get a "D" on a paper that they DESERVED that "D" and need to work harder next time to get a better grade...that they are capable young people, able to do the work. I want my kids to know if their job performance is not up to snuff, then they better get to hoofing it. Get the nose to the grindstone and WORK for it. I want my kids to WANT to do well. I want my kids to WANT to be responsible. And probably the BEST way to teach this? Is to let them experience what it feels like to NOT do well or what irresponsibility feels like (which will, inevitably mean they encounter failure along the way). I am not sure anything else really takes the place of real world experience. But easier said that done, right???????
NO ONE wants to see their kid suffer, especially if the consequesnces could have been avoided through better decision making skills. However, think back on your childhood. Didn't you learn a thing or two about yourself and humanity in general while you were arguing with your neighborhood friends during flashlight tag, or failed a test because you flat out forgot to study, or liked the REALLY wrong guy? It's how we LEARN and GROW as people in this world. Our parents can TELL us...but until we muff up and face the music ourselves, we really won't believe it.
That said, wouldn't it be lovely if our kids got used to dealing with failure...and KNEW they would have to face consequences at a young age? Knew how to dust themselves off after a failure...or even acutally learned to *gasp* make good decisions and eventually AVOID the life altering, forever life changing bad decisions that they COULD make. Yep..that's the goal. To know they will make good decisions later....and know consequences await (both good and bad) once they make decisions.
Cut to me: borderline (or full-blown, trying to reform!) helicopter parent. I realize at 10 a.m. on Thursday morning that it is "game day" in my child's 3rd grade child's classroom. My daughter has talked about which game to take, how to transport it, etc. Well, we had been busy the night before and evidentally were not terribly worried about it Thursday morning b/c it NEVER came up. So, here I sit in my living room...knowing my daughter forgot her "game" on "game day". My helicopter parent mode kicks in...I WANT to dash to school in my minivan and drop that game off...it won't take 15 min round trip...and my daughter will think I am a HERO. But, then I STOP myself (look at me! progress!!). If I do this, I am rescuing her....from a situation she was totally capable of controlling. SHE knew it was game day well ahead of time, so the ball was not totally in my court. I figure if she is melting down at school or freaking out that I am going to get a call/would have already gotten the call...nope....no calls. I checked email....maybe the teacher sent me a gentle reminder in case I was "out" and could drop the game by. Nope...no email. And that's when I decided.....helicopteer tendencies be DAMNED. I am not taking the game. Simple failure to remember the game = simple and relatively painless conseuquence of not having her own game at school and needing to share with others. No biggie. Of course, I then worried all day about the wrath and tirade I would hear from her when school let out about being a HORRIBLE mother who didn't remember Game Day and didn't bring the game to school...
Funny thing happened. She NEVER mentioned it. I asked everyone how school went...everyone was happy (or as happy as two bickering young girls can be)...nothing. Not a word about the dang game. About 2 hours later, my 9 year old pipes up with, "I forgot to take my game to game day." And, calmly I said, "Ah man, I thought about that...but it was late in the afternoon. Did everything work out?" Her: "Yeah, I ended up helping another group that was playing Headbandz....they couldn't figure out the rules so I started helping to give them clues and stuff." Period. End of it.
PHEW. My first attempt at NOT hovering worked. A SMALL failure...with very small consequence...will probably keep her from forgetting such a special day in the future...and hopefully she will decide that small items like this one are not "big ticket" items with "big ticket" consequences...it is super easy to pull up your bootstraps and keep on trucking.
That would certainly be great...because this helicopter is running low on fuel and hovering in one spot is really just NO FUN.
Have a great day all!
Jennifer
So, since I have a 9 year old who acts like she is on preteen hormonal steroids and a 7 year old who hasn't one CARE in the world (here's looking at you, schoolwork!) and a 3 year old who just basically runs around giving me bruises on my legs from all the sword fighting we do....I have started reading some basic literature on how to deal with kids of all different ages/personalities. Does that mean I am reading parenting "How-To" books? Eh, maybe. But, we all know that READING about a situation is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different than facing that situation in real life and following through with a reaction that is appropriate (and in my case doesn't involve screaming at someone). But, I figure ANYTHING will help me at this point...I am surrounded by insanity anyway...what I am DOING does not really work, let's try a new approach. So, I set to reading.
One of the first catchphrases I have run across in SEVERAL different articles/books and I think even on the blog www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com is the term (and I LOVE it): HELICOPTER PARENT. It is a term used to describe the parent who is ALWAYS waiting in the wings to swoop down and save their kid from failing. Whether it is making a big deal when theier toddler skins their knee on the playground or races back to school to retrieve the forgotten backpack or is ready to take on the classroom teacher/principal because there is NO WAY their little angel cheated on that test, they always want their kid on the "Best" baseball/soccer/basketball team, they praise and praise their kiddos for every Accelerated Reader point (dang that AR system!) received....these parents are the ones that really help protect their children from any kind of failure.
Deep down, I think these parents (and I will be the FIRST to admit that I carry many of these qualities) have the BEST of intentions. They are doing their best to BE there for their children. But, the problem is...they are there TOO MUCH. Yep. That's possible. If our children are not allowed to fail...experience failure, its consequences, its emotional toll, and then learn to pick themselves up and push forward...then what exactly are we modeling for our kids? That when they get to college and get a "D" on the first English paper they write (because Mommy/Daddy were not there to proofread it) that they should just drop out of college????? Or that when they get their first job in sales and someone else out sells them by double-fold that it really isn't THEIR fault...change jobs...obviously that one was not for you! Please...please...please tell me this is not the generation of children we are raising.
I really want my kids to know if they get a "D" on a paper that they DESERVED that "D" and need to work harder next time to get a better grade...that they are capable young people, able to do the work. I want my kids to know if their job performance is not up to snuff, then they better get to hoofing it. Get the nose to the grindstone and WORK for it. I want my kids to WANT to do well. I want my kids to WANT to be responsible. And probably the BEST way to teach this? Is to let them experience what it feels like to NOT do well or what irresponsibility feels like (which will, inevitably mean they encounter failure along the way). I am not sure anything else really takes the place of real world experience. But easier said that done, right???????
NO ONE wants to see their kid suffer, especially if the consequesnces could have been avoided through better decision making skills. However, think back on your childhood. Didn't you learn a thing or two about yourself and humanity in general while you were arguing with your neighborhood friends during flashlight tag, or failed a test because you flat out forgot to study, or liked the REALLY wrong guy? It's how we LEARN and GROW as people in this world. Our parents can TELL us...but until we muff up and face the music ourselves, we really won't believe it.
That said, wouldn't it be lovely if our kids got used to dealing with failure...and KNEW they would have to face consequences at a young age? Knew how to dust themselves off after a failure...or even acutally learned to *gasp* make good decisions and eventually AVOID the life altering, forever life changing bad decisions that they COULD make. Yep..that's the goal. To know they will make good decisions later....and know consequences await (both good and bad) once they make decisions.
Cut to me: borderline (or full-blown, trying to reform!) helicopter parent. I realize at 10 a.m. on Thursday morning that it is "game day" in my child's 3rd grade child's classroom. My daughter has talked about which game to take, how to transport it, etc. Well, we had been busy the night before and evidentally were not terribly worried about it Thursday morning b/c it NEVER came up. So, here I sit in my living room...knowing my daughter forgot her "game" on "game day". My helicopter parent mode kicks in...I WANT to dash to school in my minivan and drop that game off...it won't take 15 min round trip...and my daughter will think I am a HERO. But, then I STOP myself (look at me! progress!!). If I do this, I am rescuing her....from a situation she was totally capable of controlling. SHE knew it was game day well ahead of time, so the ball was not totally in my court. I figure if she is melting down at school or freaking out that I am going to get a call/would have already gotten the call...nope....no calls. I checked email....maybe the teacher sent me a gentle reminder in case I was "out" and could drop the game by. Nope...no email. And that's when I decided.....helicopteer tendencies be DAMNED. I am not taking the game. Simple failure to remember the game = simple and relatively painless conseuquence of not having her own game at school and needing to share with others. No biggie. Of course, I then worried all day about the wrath and tirade I would hear from her when school let out about being a HORRIBLE mother who didn't remember Game Day and didn't bring the game to school...
Funny thing happened. She NEVER mentioned it. I asked everyone how school went...everyone was happy (or as happy as two bickering young girls can be)...nothing. Not a word about the dang game. About 2 hours later, my 9 year old pipes up with, "I forgot to take my game to game day." And, calmly I said, "Ah man, I thought about that...but it was late in the afternoon. Did everything work out?" Her: "Yeah, I ended up helping another group that was playing Headbandz....they couldn't figure out the rules so I started helping to give them clues and stuff." Period. End of it.
PHEW. My first attempt at NOT hovering worked. A SMALL failure...with very small consequence...will probably keep her from forgetting such a special day in the future...and hopefully she will decide that small items like this one are not "big ticket" items with "big ticket" consequences...it is super easy to pull up your bootstraps and keep on trucking.
That would certainly be great...because this helicopter is running low on fuel and hovering in one spot is really just NO FUN.
Have a great day all!
Jennifer
Friday, March 2, 2012
Run, Forrest, Run!!!!!!!!
Let's get a little background knowledge on my running career. I WAS the girl in freshman year gym class that tried to beg, borrow, and bribe my way out of running the MILE. I loved to dance...but any other physical activity that required sweat? Not so much. I mean, in my defense, these were the days that my "gym shoes" were KEDS. For real. I worry so much about "foot support" these days with my running shoes...and back then, I was basically performing all gym activities in shoes that had cardboard for "support". Good thinking there, Jen. Wow.
I did not start "running" (and I use that term VERRRRRY loosely) until after the birth of my first child. And the only reason I started running then was because I needed to speed my workout up a bit. A typical workout for me back then was to walk 3 miles on a treadmill. So, I started where I would walk 4 min, jog 1 min...gradually bumping times up until I was jogging the full 3 miles. And I do mean "jog". There was no "run" and certainly no "sprint". I could probably have used my husband's amazing speed walking skills to WALK the pace I was using as my jog. But, nevertheless, I kept at it. And it was about this time that the school disctrict I was working for started a new "Get Fit" program. It also joined with other large employers in the town to get employees active with things like raquetball tournaments, volleyball tourneys, and....a 5K run. One of my fellow employees was a big runner and when they started drafting faculty members to represent at the 5K, she talked me into the idea that I could DO this. I took a leap of faith and signed up for the race.
Thank goodness, the vast majority of people who were running in this race were a lot like me...new to this whole running thing. But, I kept my nice slow/steady pace and never walked for the 3.1 miles and crossed the finish line VERY proud of myself. Never mind that I screwed up the "medal" system by putting my finishing card into the "Women's Age 50-55" age group box. I mean, who knew there was a system?? Not me. I saw a box that said "women" and threw my ticket in...I was waaaaay to freaking tired to READ a SIGN. I even saw one of my high school buddies at the finish line. I am pretty sure that she thought she was hallucinating...I mean, I was the LAST person she would ever think to see at a RACE.
Again, I was PUMPED about finishing this race without walking. That was my goal. When I got home (with my MEDAL...yes...there was like NO ONE in my age division), I started telling my husband about the race. The conversation went something like this:
Him: "So, how'd it go?"
Me: "Look! I won a medal! HA! No, really, I am happy to have done it. I didn't walk...I finished in a time that I would never have guessed that I could run. Basically, I paced myself off another girl. We would pass enough other off and on throughout the race."
Him: "But, you beat her? Right?"
Me: "No. I was ahead of her for about the last mile and the as we were heading into the chute she just sprinted past me in that last tenth of a mile. Wow. I feel so good."
Him: "WHAT? You LET her beat you? Someone you ran with/against the entire race? No way. There is NO WAY I would have let her pass me! That TOTALLY defeats the point of a RACE. OMG. No way. In the CHUTE, Jennifer???"
Me: "Why does this even matter? I was not racing HER. I was seeing if I could finish the race without walking. Period."
Him: "It just does. It matters."
Being ever the coach and supporter, he came home from work the next day and informed me that he had talked to several friends of his that were regular race runners and they ALL agreed ..... NEVER let someone pass you in the chute. Obviously....I was not a real "runner" because I did not care.
Cut to me several years later...I am 3 kids in at this point. I have always returned to running after each child -- and 5K times are getting better. I still do not have a bloodlust for beating other people...do like to set PRs for myself -- you know run a race at a faster time than I ever have before. I have run 3 different half marathons...none great but all pretty OK. Running is just bascially my choice of exercise. I am currrently training for my 4th half marathon...and my only goal is to try and finish in under 2 hours. I know if all the stars align that I CAN do it -- but it is just a personal goal. Which just makes the story to follow even THAT much funnier...
So, I went on a 4 mile run with a friend on the Greenbelt recently. We met in kind of an awkward spot...I ran about a mile to meet her and then separated from her about a mile from finishing. WHen we were getting ready to split and go our separate ways, I looked down the trail and saw a familiar silouette. It was a man that I see REGULARLY running in and around our neighborhood area. He is just a big person by nature. I do not mean "fat"...I mean, just not built like some little sprinty runner. He is tall, strong, and heavyset. But, by heavens, he runs all the time...and for that I respect him. Now, know this....most everytime I see him running, I am in my car....not actually on foot. And I think because of his size he always looks to be going deceivingly slower than he actually is. You know, I always have one of those moments of, "Bless his heart! Look at him just go as fast as he can! He never gives up. I love that!" Joke's on me.
Anyway, before I leave my friend, I notice this man has turned around...he is now heading in the direction I will be running. He even gives a look over his shoulder...he is looking to see if someone is gonna be on his tail. So, off I trot. I am not terribly far behind him. And I make a mental note, "Ok....I'll pass him pretty soon"....and I kept running, and running....and I was not gaining on this guy. Or at least not by much. So, my first reaction is "Holy! This guy just LOOKS like he runs slower...I wonder what the heck I look like to other people watching ME run?? Are they all thinking 'Bless her heart! Look at her go and never give up' ?!?!?!? ARE THEY?" But as I am running, and not really changing my pace, I slowly realize that I AM gaining on him...little by little. And I decide that...NO...he does NOT run that much faster than me...I WILL pass him. It was like a crazy mental note that I could not shake. So...I get to the point in the run where there is about .4 or .5 miles left until I hit my 4 mile mark...I am close enough to this guy to pass him...so I speed up a bit and do just that.
Now....when I pass him, he has ear buds in listening to music. He did not know I was stealthily sneaking up on him. And since he was listening to music, I couldn't give him the cordial runner's greeting, "Have a great day!" So, I just waved. Evidentally, that was kinda like waving a red cape in front of a rabid bull. As I pass, I (who have NO earbuds in) hear this man's feet speed up ... so I speed up. I mean, that was my goal to pass him before I got to the end of my 4 miles....I SURE as heck was not going to get "passed in the chute" again like my first 5K debaucle. I kid you not, we looked like to FOOLS on that dang Greenbelt. Sprinting like MADMEN...because no matter what, he was NOT giving up. I look down at my watch and as it clicks to 3.99 miles, I glance to see that our PACE is 6:32 mile. WHAT??????????? I did not think I could run that fast if my pants were on fire....literally. My watch clicked over to 4.00 miles and I stopped in my tracks and started walking...throwing my hands up. **for the record, I was still leading and all that crazy sprinting really messed up my speed training run the next day** But the man just kept on trucking...NOT sprinting like a rabid dog....and ran off into the neighborhood (I am going out on a limb here and say at a MUCH slower pace!)
I have laughed and laughed about this. I have told the story to my running friends, causing them to have inappropriate laughter as well. And the greatest part? We THINK we have identified the man I was sprint- racing....as one of our neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT? Now those of us who are wanting to do speed work while getting ready for this next half marathon can just go and knock on his door and ask him to come out into the neighborhood and let us chase him down like a pack of wild dogs.
Holy crap....I have turned into THAT runner. Just...on a much smaller Greenbelt leisurely run type of day. I still doubt my mental fortitude to finish a half in under 2 hours. But...I am gonna try my hardest NOT to let that person I have been pacing off of the whole race to beat me down the chute ;-) Props to the hubby's crazy competitive nature! lol
Have a great (safe) day! Hope the storms are gone where you are!
xoxo Jennifer
I did not start "running" (and I use that term VERRRRRY loosely) until after the birth of my first child. And the only reason I started running then was because I needed to speed my workout up a bit. A typical workout for me back then was to walk 3 miles on a treadmill. So, I started where I would walk 4 min, jog 1 min...gradually bumping times up until I was jogging the full 3 miles. And I do mean "jog". There was no "run" and certainly no "sprint". I could probably have used my husband's amazing speed walking skills to WALK the pace I was using as my jog. But, nevertheless, I kept at it. And it was about this time that the school disctrict I was working for started a new "Get Fit" program. It also joined with other large employers in the town to get employees active with things like raquetball tournaments, volleyball tourneys, and....a 5K run. One of my fellow employees was a big runner and when they started drafting faculty members to represent at the 5K, she talked me into the idea that I could DO this. I took a leap of faith and signed up for the race.
Thank goodness, the vast majority of people who were running in this race were a lot like me...new to this whole running thing. But, I kept my nice slow/steady pace and never walked for the 3.1 miles and crossed the finish line VERY proud of myself. Never mind that I screwed up the "medal" system by putting my finishing card into the "Women's Age 50-55" age group box. I mean, who knew there was a system?? Not me. I saw a box that said "women" and threw my ticket in...I was waaaaay to freaking tired to READ a SIGN. I even saw one of my high school buddies at the finish line. I am pretty sure that she thought she was hallucinating...I mean, I was the LAST person she would ever think to see at a RACE.
Again, I was PUMPED about finishing this race without walking. That was my goal. When I got home (with my MEDAL...yes...there was like NO ONE in my age division), I started telling my husband about the race. The conversation went something like this:
Him: "So, how'd it go?"
Me: "Look! I won a medal! HA! No, really, I am happy to have done it. I didn't walk...I finished in a time that I would never have guessed that I could run. Basically, I paced myself off another girl. We would pass enough other off and on throughout the race."
Him: "But, you beat her? Right?"
Me: "No. I was ahead of her for about the last mile and the as we were heading into the chute she just sprinted past me in that last tenth of a mile. Wow. I feel so good."
Him: "WHAT? You LET her beat you? Someone you ran with/against the entire race? No way. There is NO WAY I would have let her pass me! That TOTALLY defeats the point of a RACE. OMG. No way. In the CHUTE, Jennifer???"
Me: "Why does this even matter? I was not racing HER. I was seeing if I could finish the race without walking. Period."
Him: "It just does. It matters."
Being ever the coach and supporter, he came home from work the next day and informed me that he had talked to several friends of his that were regular race runners and they ALL agreed ..... NEVER let someone pass you in the chute. Obviously....I was not a real "runner" because I did not care.
Cut to me several years later...I am 3 kids in at this point. I have always returned to running after each child -- and 5K times are getting better. I still do not have a bloodlust for beating other people...do like to set PRs for myself -- you know run a race at a faster time than I ever have before. I have run 3 different half marathons...none great but all pretty OK. Running is just bascially my choice of exercise. I am currrently training for my 4th half marathon...and my only goal is to try and finish in under 2 hours. I know if all the stars align that I CAN do it -- but it is just a personal goal. Which just makes the story to follow even THAT much funnier...
So, I went on a 4 mile run with a friend on the Greenbelt recently. We met in kind of an awkward spot...I ran about a mile to meet her and then separated from her about a mile from finishing. WHen we were getting ready to split and go our separate ways, I looked down the trail and saw a familiar silouette. It was a man that I see REGULARLY running in and around our neighborhood area. He is just a big person by nature. I do not mean "fat"...I mean, just not built like some little sprinty runner. He is tall, strong, and heavyset. But, by heavens, he runs all the time...and for that I respect him. Now, know this....most everytime I see him running, I am in my car....not actually on foot. And I think because of his size he always looks to be going deceivingly slower than he actually is. You know, I always have one of those moments of, "Bless his heart! Look at him just go as fast as he can! He never gives up. I love that!" Joke's on me.
Anyway, before I leave my friend, I notice this man has turned around...he is now heading in the direction I will be running. He even gives a look over his shoulder...he is looking to see if someone is gonna be on his tail. So, off I trot. I am not terribly far behind him. And I make a mental note, "Ok....I'll pass him pretty soon"....and I kept running, and running....and I was not gaining on this guy. Or at least not by much. So, my first reaction is "Holy! This guy just LOOKS like he runs slower...I wonder what the heck I look like to other people watching ME run?? Are they all thinking 'Bless her heart! Look at her go and never give up' ?!?!?!? ARE THEY?" But as I am running, and not really changing my pace, I slowly realize that I AM gaining on him...little by little. And I decide that...NO...he does NOT run that much faster than me...I WILL pass him. It was like a crazy mental note that I could not shake. So...I get to the point in the run where there is about .4 or .5 miles left until I hit my 4 mile mark...I am close enough to this guy to pass him...so I speed up a bit and do just that.
Now....when I pass him, he has ear buds in listening to music. He did not know I was stealthily sneaking up on him. And since he was listening to music, I couldn't give him the cordial runner's greeting, "Have a great day!" So, I just waved. Evidentally, that was kinda like waving a red cape in front of a rabid bull. As I pass, I (who have NO earbuds in) hear this man's feet speed up ... so I speed up. I mean, that was my goal to pass him before I got to the end of my 4 miles....I SURE as heck was not going to get "passed in the chute" again like my first 5K debaucle. I kid you not, we looked like to FOOLS on that dang Greenbelt. Sprinting like MADMEN...because no matter what, he was NOT giving up. I look down at my watch and as it clicks to 3.99 miles, I glance to see that our PACE is 6:32 mile. WHAT??????????? I did not think I could run that fast if my pants were on fire....literally. My watch clicked over to 4.00 miles and I stopped in my tracks and started walking...throwing my hands up. **for the record, I was still leading and all that crazy sprinting really messed up my speed training run the next day** But the man just kept on trucking...NOT sprinting like a rabid dog....and ran off into the neighborhood (I am going out on a limb here and say at a MUCH slower pace!)
I have laughed and laughed about this. I have told the story to my running friends, causing them to have inappropriate laughter as well. And the greatest part? We THINK we have identified the man I was sprint- racing....as one of our neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT? Now those of us who are wanting to do speed work while getting ready for this next half marathon can just go and knock on his door and ask him to come out into the neighborhood and let us chase him down like a pack of wild dogs.
Holy crap....I have turned into THAT runner. Just...on a much smaller Greenbelt leisurely run type of day. I still doubt my mental fortitude to finish a half in under 2 hours. But...I am gonna try my hardest NOT to let that person I have been pacing off of the whole race to beat me down the chute ;-) Props to the hubby's crazy competitive nature! lol
Have a great (safe) day! Hope the storms are gone where you are!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, February 24, 2012
Genetics
I have said it before...even on this blog, I believe. But I just do NOT understand that my husband and I could have created three perfect little lives...all SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in personality. They all exited the same womb, but act like they are unrelated. I have just never seen anything like it. This week highlighted pretty much EVERY difference that my kids have with one another.
My eldest child has anxiety that borders on needing meds. I am not even joking. I need to start keeping a journal so that the next time I talk to her pediatrician I will be able to give specific examples. ie: "We went on an airplane and her father was drinking a water bottle on the way UP to security. She freaked OUT for the ENTIRE line...screeching/tearing up, "Dad! Throw it away! NOW! They will not let you on the plane. They will NOT. Do you HEAR me?? Mom! Tell him!" Me: "There is a wastebasket just next to the security station, they will ask him to throw it away there." Her: "NO THEY WILL NOT! They will not let him through...he will NOT be allowed on the plane! When will you all LISTEN to me?????" OK...so, yeah, that is funny for like 30 seconds...not 30 min as you snake your way through a line toward security surrounded by other people who are prob beginning to think that your hubby actually HAS something "bad" in his water bottle. When we reached the secruity guard and he asked my husband to throw away his water bottle -- he did -- while looking my daughter SQUARE in the eyes and smiling his biggest smile. Way to help the situation, big guy. But, for the record, anxiety queen STILL contends that SHE was right. We were wrong. Despite the fact that everyone is home safe and sound from said trip.
This is just the tip of her iceberg. My eldest is a nervous wreck about everything. Perfectionist. Bordering on OCD. All of these traits will eventually serve her well...but right NOW...they are a HUGE PAIN. Like her anal father, she plans things in her head and by heavens things better pan out that way. If she wants to play on the swings at recess and you do not...well, you are practically not her friend for the day...may be the end of your friendship with her forever. There is NO "go with the flow" for her. We have had the serious talk about "to have a good friend, you must BE a good friend" and this involves give and take. Yeah....she doesn't really care.
I just had to STOP typing to have a never-ending conversation with her about how she can not use my "Words With Friends" app....it's a long story but involves the fact that she uses it to also TOTALLY INNOCENTLY text/play the game with her BFF. Well, second child wants in on the action too...wants to try the game. First child IMPLODES becase her little sister will be able to "SEE" her texts. Believe me..it's on my phone, I look at the texts all the time...there is NOTHING to "SEE". So, I have banned them both from the game so that I don't have to deal. Well, she just came downstairs and gave a great monologue about how me not letting her use WWF is RUINING her best friendship with her friend. I am the bane of her existence..and her little sister is a VERY close second. The conversation ended with me winning (of course) no WWF for anyone involved...and now she is upstairs sobbing uncontrollably. Never mind that "trying to tantrum/yell less" was one of her Lenten promises. Another one bites the dust.
This is also the same child that OCD checks her backpack for homework/test info a MINIMUM of 3 times before leaving for school. It's exhausting...but again, this trait will serve her WELL later in life (if she is not too busy washing her hands 76 times before she leaves the house and checking to make sure her front door is locked 25 times before she can acutally get in her car and drive away).
Enter child #2, possibly the most laid back being on the face of the earth. On the Spaceship Earth ride at Disney her interactive screen acked her if she preferred to have activities "planned ahead" for her or to "wing it". My husband said she never batted and eye as she hit and said out loud "Wwwwwing it!" No truer words spoken. She is laid back like a dead fly. And she is a HUGE button pusher...let's be honest...the ONLY reason she wants to try WWF on my phone is b/c her sister does not WANT her to. It has NOTHING to do with her wanting to expland her vocabulary and critical thinking skills. Being laid back is great in a LOT of settings...makes life easier on those around her. I am pretty sure that my 6 yr old's most used word is "Sure". --
You want to go to eat Mexican tonight? Sure. Is it OK if your sister goes first? Sure. Can you share your snack with your brother? Sure. There is a TIME and PLACE for "sure" though! -- You wanna try a bunch of illegal drugs and then try to fly from roof tops? .... Let's try NOT to answer "Sure." to that one!!!!!!
As a former teacher, I know that some kids are juse BETTER spellers than others. BUT, it also helps if the kid CARES about spellling words correctly...which child #2 does not. She SCOFFS at the idea of "challenge" words...she is JUST fine with her regular list of words, thank you very much. I mean, why would you want HARDER words??!?! Ohhhhhh boy. For real....I practiced her spelling words with her this week no LESS than 70 times. All words some times...other times just the words she struggled with. The practice test she took in class was a joke...so we hit the words HARD last night...and again this morning. I'm gonna let you guess how that test turned out. (she missed 3 out of 12...and none of them had been words that she at ALL struggled with during the week!?!?!?!?). And I will also let you guess how much she cares:.....not.....one...bit. You'd think as a former educator that I would be equipped to handle the situation and light a fire under her...yeah...not so much. Gonna have to research this one: I'll google "Kids that don't really give a rip."
I haven't the time to delve into child #3...he is too busy hitting his sisters, tackling people, using swords to knock over toys and furniture items, lassoing this sisters with his pirate belt while he wears a cowboy hat on this head. I just pray in the years to come that he gets JUST enough of chld #1 to CARE and JUST enough of child #2 to ENJOY life. My guess is that genetics will not be that kind ;-)
Have a great night all!
xoxo Jennifer
My eldest child has anxiety that borders on needing meds. I am not even joking. I need to start keeping a journal so that the next time I talk to her pediatrician I will be able to give specific examples. ie: "We went on an airplane and her father was drinking a water bottle on the way UP to security. She freaked OUT for the ENTIRE line...screeching/tearing up, "Dad! Throw it away! NOW! They will not let you on the plane. They will NOT. Do you HEAR me?? Mom! Tell him!" Me: "There is a wastebasket just next to the security station, they will ask him to throw it away there." Her: "NO THEY WILL NOT! They will not let him through...he will NOT be allowed on the plane! When will you all LISTEN to me?????" OK...so, yeah, that is funny for like 30 seconds...not 30 min as you snake your way through a line toward security surrounded by other people who are prob beginning to think that your hubby actually HAS something "bad" in his water bottle. When we reached the secruity guard and he asked my husband to throw away his water bottle -- he did -- while looking my daughter SQUARE in the eyes and smiling his biggest smile. Way to help the situation, big guy. But, for the record, anxiety queen STILL contends that SHE was right. We were wrong. Despite the fact that everyone is home safe and sound from said trip.
This is just the tip of her iceberg. My eldest is a nervous wreck about everything. Perfectionist. Bordering on OCD. All of these traits will eventually serve her well...but right NOW...they are a HUGE PAIN. Like her anal father, she plans things in her head and by heavens things better pan out that way. If she wants to play on the swings at recess and you do not...well, you are practically not her friend for the day...may be the end of your friendship with her forever. There is NO "go with the flow" for her. We have had the serious talk about "to have a good friend, you must BE a good friend" and this involves give and take. Yeah....she doesn't really care.
I just had to STOP typing to have a never-ending conversation with her about how she can not use my "Words With Friends" app....it's a long story but involves the fact that she uses it to also TOTALLY INNOCENTLY text/play the game with her BFF. Well, second child wants in on the action too...wants to try the game. First child IMPLODES becase her little sister will be able to "SEE" her texts. Believe me..it's on my phone, I look at the texts all the time...there is NOTHING to "SEE". So, I have banned them both from the game so that I don't have to deal. Well, she just came downstairs and gave a great monologue about how me not letting her use WWF is RUINING her best friendship with her friend. I am the bane of her existence..and her little sister is a VERY close second. The conversation ended with me winning (of course) no WWF for anyone involved...and now she is upstairs sobbing uncontrollably. Never mind that "trying to tantrum/yell less" was one of her Lenten promises. Another one bites the dust.
This is also the same child that OCD checks her backpack for homework/test info a MINIMUM of 3 times before leaving for school. It's exhausting...but again, this trait will serve her WELL later in life (if she is not too busy washing her hands 76 times before she leaves the house and checking to make sure her front door is locked 25 times before she can acutally get in her car and drive away).
Enter child #2, possibly the most laid back being on the face of the earth. On the Spaceship Earth ride at Disney her interactive screen acked her if she preferred to have activities "planned ahead" for her or to "wing it". My husband said she never batted and eye as she hit and said out loud "Wwwwwing it!" No truer words spoken. She is laid back like a dead fly. And she is a HUGE button pusher...let's be honest...the ONLY reason she wants to try WWF on my phone is b/c her sister does not WANT her to. It has NOTHING to do with her wanting to expland her vocabulary and critical thinking skills. Being laid back is great in a LOT of settings...makes life easier on those around her. I am pretty sure that my 6 yr old's most used word is "Sure". --
You want to go to eat Mexican tonight? Sure. Is it OK if your sister goes first? Sure. Can you share your snack with your brother? Sure. There is a TIME and PLACE for "sure" though! -- You wanna try a bunch of illegal drugs and then try to fly from roof tops? .... Let's try NOT to answer "Sure." to that one!!!!!!
As a former teacher, I know that some kids are juse BETTER spellers than others. BUT, it also helps if the kid CARES about spellling words correctly...which child #2 does not. She SCOFFS at the idea of "challenge" words...she is JUST fine with her regular list of words, thank you very much. I mean, why would you want HARDER words??!?! Ohhhhhh boy. For real....I practiced her spelling words with her this week no LESS than 70 times. All words some times...other times just the words she struggled with. The practice test she took in class was a joke...so we hit the words HARD last night...and again this morning. I'm gonna let you guess how that test turned out. (she missed 3 out of 12...and none of them had been words that she at ALL struggled with during the week!?!?!?!?). And I will also let you guess how much she cares:.....not.....one...bit. You'd think as a former educator that I would be equipped to handle the situation and light a fire under her...yeah...not so much. Gonna have to research this one: I'll google "Kids that don't really give a rip."
I haven't the time to delve into child #3...he is too busy hitting his sisters, tackling people, using swords to knock over toys and furniture items, lassoing this sisters with his pirate belt while he wears a cowboy hat on this head. I just pray in the years to come that he gets JUST enough of chld #1 to CARE and JUST enough of child #2 to ENJOY life. My guess is that genetics will not be that kind ;-)
Have a great night all!
xoxo Jennifer
Saturday, February 18, 2012
True Thoughts from my Hubby
These are TRUE and REAL quotes that I have heard from my husband in the past few weeks.... none made up... none exaggerated.
1. I went to get a massage and afterward he asked if it was "good" and OF COURSE he asked if I got a "happy ending". I laughed and said noooo, but it was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep and woke myself up with a SNORE. His reaction? "You fell ASLEEP during a massage? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? It's a lot like falling asleep when you are with a prostitute." Wow. Thank God my husband would rather take a bullet than get a massage.....at least one that doesn't evidently begin and end with the "happy ending".
2. Before getting my hair done recently, he commented that my hair was "getting dark"....I agreed. Yep, was def time for a touch up and I was overdue...just no time with 3 kids to do such things. A week later, with my hair in a ponytail, my sweet guy says to my children, "Look at Mommy's hair...it is getting graaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Again, wow. This is a man who knows a way to my heart...by insulting my graying hair.
3. He walked THROUGH the room while I was watching Grey's Anatomy and saw ONE piece of a scene. He then reeled on me and said, "If I were in that hospital...when I was finally released I would tell them ALL to F*** Off! With theit snarky little quips and jokes....no way." Yes...because Seattle Grace Hospital is REAL.
4. When referring to an overnight trip we will be taking soon (where we will drink waaaaay too much alcohol)...he said, "You know what establishment is going to get KILLED on the Sunday morning after we check out of the hotel?" Me: "No...where?" The Husband: "WAFFLE HOUSE! I am going to KILL that joint." Shoot for the 4 star restaurants, dear.... shoot for the stars.
This is all I have time for...young people running amok in this house. More later, friends :-) Until then, hands off MY man....he is ALL mine. And, remember, he doesn't understand the whole "blog" thing...has no idea I have written this. Special guy, he is!
Have a great, fun day, all!!!!
xoxo Jennifer
1. I went to get a massage and afterward he asked if it was "good" and OF COURSE he asked if I got a "happy ending". I laughed and said noooo, but it was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep and woke myself up with a SNORE. His reaction? "You fell ASLEEP during a massage? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? It's a lot like falling asleep when you are with a prostitute." Wow. Thank God my husband would rather take a bullet than get a massage.....at least one that doesn't evidently begin and end with the "happy ending".
2. Before getting my hair done recently, he commented that my hair was "getting dark"....I agreed. Yep, was def time for a touch up and I was overdue...just no time with 3 kids to do such things. A week later, with my hair in a ponytail, my sweet guy says to my children, "Look at Mommy's hair...it is getting graaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Again, wow. This is a man who knows a way to my heart...by insulting my graying hair.
3. He walked THROUGH the room while I was watching Grey's Anatomy and saw ONE piece of a scene. He then reeled on me and said, "If I were in that hospital...when I was finally released I would tell them ALL to F*** Off! With theit snarky little quips and jokes....no way." Yes...because Seattle Grace Hospital is REAL.
4. When referring to an overnight trip we will be taking soon (where we will drink waaaaay too much alcohol)...he said, "You know what establishment is going to get KILLED on the Sunday morning after we check out of the hotel?" Me: "No...where?" The Husband: "WAFFLE HOUSE! I am going to KILL that joint." Shoot for the 4 star restaurants, dear.... shoot for the stars.
This is all I have time for...young people running amok in this house. More later, friends :-) Until then, hands off MY man....he is ALL mine. And, remember, he doesn't understand the whole "blog" thing...has no idea I have written this. Special guy, he is!
Have a great, fun day, all!!!!
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, February 13, 2012
What I Learned About Myself and Other at DisneyWorld...
After spending a full week in close quarters with 3 children and a husband...well.. you learn a lot about yourself, your family, and if you are a people watcher like me...well, you learn a few things about others as well. So...let's get right to it. The Cultural Experience that IS Disney (in NO particular order):
1. Evidently, there is a new fashion trend emerging from Asia. I saw MULTIPLE Asian travelers in Disney...and many shared a novel new fashion *bling*. This is *NOT* a sterotype...just an observation... it appears that black panty hose (NOT TIGHTS) are making a come back. Under shorts...under capri pants...with tennis shoes/flats/boots...disturbing. To each their own....but let me tell you... I REALLY thought it was a fluke the first person I saw...and then when I started realllly paying attention...well, it was no accident. The black hose were EVERYWHERE. Creep me OUT! I get it that the Duchess of Cambridge can pull off nude pantyhouse that blend with her skin tone under gorgeous Issa dresses. But, if black panty house are what is coming OUR way in the USA...well, I'm out. I will officially give up on fashion. This is not that big of a stretch since I barely own anything NOT purchased from Target anyway. :)
2. Dear Rascal/Scooter riders, I pretty much dislike you all. My only stipulation on this is that I KNOW there are PLENTY of people who need to use rascals or wheelchairs that don't visually appear to be handicapped. My father in law, in the depths of cancer/chemo/raditation, needed that hanicapped sticker for his car. And I counted my blessing EVERY SINGLE TIME a family got onto the bus with a child (young or teen or grown) in a wheelchair. These parents are ANGELS. So, I GET it. BUT....BUT....I have very little tolerance for people that are renting those rascals for the sheer fact that they are overweight and too effing lazy to WALK the park. THIS is why the rest of the world thinks that Americans are LAZY and FAT. Here's a novel idea....WALK in the parks and you might *gasp* LOSE weight in Disney! Yes, possibly. To quote one of my fave blogs, http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ ... I want to throat punch the lazies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. On a positive note, Disney is pretty much the mecca of helping people like me whose children have food allergies. There are special menu items at ALL eateries...and specialized desserts...AND the chefs come out to talk to you or walk you thru the buffets so that you are totally educated on what is safe...and if you are not comfortable with buffets, ALL restaurants will specially prepare food in the kitchen for you...in allergen free pans/allergen free fryers. Most excellent. But to further this observation, I can NOT NOT NOT believe how MANY kids/people HAVE food allergies these days. Most chefs were OUT in the dining area NONSTOP talking to table after table. I just do not REMEMBER this from my childhood. Heck, EVERYONE ate peanut butter sandwiches, drank milk, and had scrambled eggs for bfast. Ummm...not anymore!!!!!!! If there is not a scientist out there somewhere studying this hardcore, they SHOULD be. I will encourage any of my scinece-interested children into this field. Something has obviously changed!
4. What did I learn about my husband? That, despite feeling crappy a good portion of our trip to Disney, he is STILL the fastest walker in North America. Un. Real. I mean, I jog...I run races...and I STRUGGLE to keep up with his walk. Granted, he was pushing an umbrella stoller with a 3 yr old and I have a double stoller with a 6 and 9 year old (YES...we cram them into the rented ones at Disney b/c if I can't keep up...they SURE as heck can't!). Regardless, I need to sign him up for speed walking Olympic time trials. He'd rock it. In their defense, MOST people in Disney mosey. They are on vacation. My husband is on a MISSION. On day 3 in the park, I looked at my husband and innocently remarked, "We have passed approximately 1.6 million people...and I do not think ONE person has passed us the entire time we have been here." He TOTALLY and seriously deadpanned me, "No, there was that ONE person that ran past us yesterday...it looked like he was really late for something." SERIOUSLY? He could COUNT the number of people who had passed us? So, I really started paying close attention from that point forward...and I counted 3 more people who passed us. All running. We are evidently move like Speedy Gonzalez. Holy.....
5. Disney may be the "happiest place on Earth"....but it is also the "germiest place on Earth". And if you think about it...this makes sense. Pretty much everyone is there with children. They have saved money to go on this vacation...and by gosh, come hell or high water...they are GOING TO THE PARKS. You will hear hacking and coughing and gagging around nearly every corner. Every kid there touches EVERY chain, handrail, surface...and NO amount of handwashing or hand sanitizer is gonna save you. We were no exception. WE were the family that deserved a throat punch. I at least came prepared this trip (our LAST Disney trip had ALL 3 children getting the stomach virus one after another resulting in me being sequestered to the room with puking children and doing laundry for a straight 48 hours, on little/no sleep, but thank HEAVENS with LOTS of wine.) So, you live and learn, on our way into the park, we stop at a Publix and I stock up on food, water, snack, Lysol, Clorox wipes, and lots of wine ( I firmly believe, and have said it before, that I truly believe that germs dislike alcohol...keep it in your system and you will fight those germs off). Hee hee! I believe that it was day 3 that my 9 year old woke me up to announce that she had thrown up. Of course she had! I mean, WHY NOT??? We were up a huge portion of the night. She only got sick twice....kept bfast down in the am...and being the "plan ahead mom" that I was had packed left over stomach meds for ALL members of the family. Medicated her and off we went. That night, my hubby was puking behind a BUSH at the condo as we were waiting for a bus to take us to dinner. Holy Moly. We were like a train wreck. That said...I medicated HIM got everyone to bed in a timely manner...and I sat up by myself chocking my body full of alcohol to ward off all germs. Good times.
6. I am sorry to break the news to my husband .... but I realized on my trip to Disney that 98% of ALL girls aged 12 yrs + are more "developed" than me. Seriously. I have even had three children! But, nope...here I sit with my training bra sized chestal area...and there goes a 10 year old who probably NEEDS my bra waaaaay more than me. Crap. And, for the record, I am WAAAAAAY too scared for "augmentaion". I know it is "safe" and tons of my pals have done it. But I....I will be the ONE person who dies on the table getting a "full B cup". And can you imagine? I have 3 small children. Conversation with a stranger: "Oh...I am so sorry...I had no idea your mom had passed away. Bless your sweet hearts." My 9 year old (or even 6 year old) would quickly quip, "Yeah...she was getting bigger boobs." Nope...not going out that like that people. NOT gonna do it. Maybe where they are like....in their teens? LOL! I kid!!!!!!!! I am a scaredy cat!
7. Parents get PISSED at Disney. And, secretly, I love it. It makes me feel normal. I am not the only one who gets sick and tired of hearing whining and ungratefulness. Thank you, normal parents...thank you.
To be honest...there is a lot more that I leared at Disney...but it's gonna have to be broken down into smaller blogs. I mean that is a LOT of material people....plus I just watched Nikki Minaj (sp?) on the Grammy's from last night...and THAT, my friends, needs a blog all of its own...and lots of thought. Wow.
Love you guys!
Have a great night/day!
xoxo Jen
1. Evidently, there is a new fashion trend emerging from Asia. I saw MULTIPLE Asian travelers in Disney...and many shared a novel new fashion *bling*. This is *NOT* a sterotype...just an observation... it appears that black panty hose (NOT TIGHTS) are making a come back. Under shorts...under capri pants...with tennis shoes/flats/boots...disturbing. To each their own....but let me tell you... I REALLY thought it was a fluke the first person I saw...and then when I started realllly paying attention...well, it was no accident. The black hose were EVERYWHERE. Creep me OUT! I get it that the Duchess of Cambridge can pull off nude pantyhouse that blend with her skin tone under gorgeous Issa dresses. But, if black panty house are what is coming OUR way in the USA...well, I'm out. I will officially give up on fashion. This is not that big of a stretch since I barely own anything NOT purchased from Target anyway. :)
2. Dear Rascal/Scooter riders, I pretty much dislike you all. My only stipulation on this is that I KNOW there are PLENTY of people who need to use rascals or wheelchairs that don't visually appear to be handicapped. My father in law, in the depths of cancer/chemo/raditation, needed that hanicapped sticker for his car. And I counted my blessing EVERY SINGLE TIME a family got onto the bus with a child (young or teen or grown) in a wheelchair. These parents are ANGELS. So, I GET it. BUT....BUT....I have very little tolerance for people that are renting those rascals for the sheer fact that they are overweight and too effing lazy to WALK the park. THIS is why the rest of the world thinks that Americans are LAZY and FAT. Here's a novel idea....WALK in the parks and you might *gasp* LOSE weight in Disney! Yes, possibly. To quote one of my fave blogs, http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ ... I want to throat punch the lazies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. On a positive note, Disney is pretty much the mecca of helping people like me whose children have food allergies. There are special menu items at ALL eateries...and specialized desserts...AND the chefs come out to talk to you or walk you thru the buffets so that you are totally educated on what is safe...and if you are not comfortable with buffets, ALL restaurants will specially prepare food in the kitchen for you...in allergen free pans/allergen free fryers. Most excellent. But to further this observation, I can NOT NOT NOT believe how MANY kids/people HAVE food allergies these days. Most chefs were OUT in the dining area NONSTOP talking to table after table. I just do not REMEMBER this from my childhood. Heck, EVERYONE ate peanut butter sandwiches, drank milk, and had scrambled eggs for bfast. Ummm...not anymore!!!!!!! If there is not a scientist out there somewhere studying this hardcore, they SHOULD be. I will encourage any of my scinece-interested children into this field. Something has obviously changed!
4. What did I learn about my husband? That, despite feeling crappy a good portion of our trip to Disney, he is STILL the fastest walker in North America. Un. Real. I mean, I jog...I run races...and I STRUGGLE to keep up with his walk. Granted, he was pushing an umbrella stoller with a 3 yr old and I have a double stoller with a 6 and 9 year old (YES...we cram them into the rented ones at Disney b/c if I can't keep up...they SURE as heck can't!). Regardless, I need to sign him up for speed walking Olympic time trials. He'd rock it. In their defense, MOST people in Disney mosey. They are on vacation. My husband is on a MISSION. On day 3 in the park, I looked at my husband and innocently remarked, "We have passed approximately 1.6 million people...and I do not think ONE person has passed us the entire time we have been here." He TOTALLY and seriously deadpanned me, "No, there was that ONE person that ran past us yesterday...it looked like he was really late for something." SERIOUSLY? He could COUNT the number of people who had passed us? So, I really started paying close attention from that point forward...and I counted 3 more people who passed us. All running. We are evidently move like Speedy Gonzalez. Holy.....
5. Disney may be the "happiest place on Earth"....but it is also the "germiest place on Earth". And if you think about it...this makes sense. Pretty much everyone is there with children. They have saved money to go on this vacation...and by gosh, come hell or high water...they are GOING TO THE PARKS. You will hear hacking and coughing and gagging around nearly every corner. Every kid there touches EVERY chain, handrail, surface...and NO amount of handwashing or hand sanitizer is gonna save you. We were no exception. WE were the family that deserved a throat punch. I at least came prepared this trip (our LAST Disney trip had ALL 3 children getting the stomach virus one after another resulting in me being sequestered to the room with puking children and doing laundry for a straight 48 hours, on little/no sleep, but thank HEAVENS with LOTS of wine.) So, you live and learn, on our way into the park, we stop at a Publix and I stock up on food, water, snack, Lysol, Clorox wipes, and lots of wine ( I firmly believe, and have said it before, that I truly believe that germs dislike alcohol...keep it in your system and you will fight those germs off). Hee hee! I believe that it was day 3 that my 9 year old woke me up to announce that she had thrown up. Of course she had! I mean, WHY NOT??? We were up a huge portion of the night. She only got sick twice....kept bfast down in the am...and being the "plan ahead mom" that I was had packed left over stomach meds for ALL members of the family. Medicated her and off we went. That night, my hubby was puking behind a BUSH at the condo as we were waiting for a bus to take us to dinner. Holy Moly. We were like a train wreck. That said...I medicated HIM got everyone to bed in a timely manner...and I sat up by myself chocking my body full of alcohol to ward off all germs. Good times.
6. I am sorry to break the news to my husband .... but I realized on my trip to Disney that 98% of ALL girls aged 12 yrs + are more "developed" than me. Seriously. I have even had three children! But, nope...here I sit with my training bra sized chestal area...and there goes a 10 year old who probably NEEDS my bra waaaaay more than me. Crap. And, for the record, I am WAAAAAAY too scared for "augmentaion". I know it is "safe" and tons of my pals have done it. But I....I will be the ONE person who dies on the table getting a "full B cup". And can you imagine? I have 3 small children. Conversation with a stranger: "Oh...I am so sorry...I had no idea your mom had passed away. Bless your sweet hearts." My 9 year old (or even 6 year old) would quickly quip, "Yeah...she was getting bigger boobs." Nope...not going out that like that people. NOT gonna do it. Maybe where they are like....in their teens? LOL! I kid!!!!!!!! I am a scaredy cat!
7. Parents get PISSED at Disney. And, secretly, I love it. It makes me feel normal. I am not the only one who gets sick and tired of hearing whining and ungratefulness. Thank you, normal parents...thank you.
To be honest...there is a lot more that I leared at Disney...but it's gonna have to be broken down into smaller blogs. I mean that is a LOT of material people....plus I just watched Nikki Minaj (sp?) on the Grammy's from last night...and THAT, my friends, needs a blog all of its own...and lots of thought. Wow.
Love you guys!
Have a great night/day!
xoxo Jen
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Little Things
I am a southern girl...born and raised. I know the importance of the little things. You know... saying "please" and "thank you"... using the term "bless her heart" ANY time that you use a deragatory term aimed at another person (because EVEYONE knows that saying "bless her heart" totally erases all the negativity out of your statement)...and the seriousness of writing "thank you" notes. I am not sure at what point I because obsessed with the idea of writing personal thank you notes for all gifts received. Maybe after I was a junior hostess at charity ball? Maybe earlier in life than that? But, I VIVIDLY remember even writing my mom and dad thank you notes for Christmas and bday gifts. I am pretty sure that even my mom found it a bit weird to get a thank you note from her 16 year old daughter...but it was just IN me!
Confession: I have started dropping the ball these past few years on the thank you notes. I still sent them...but with 3 children, I would hover over those old enough to write the notes and dictate (or let them ramble as they wanted) and then throw in a line or two at the end about how "mommy and daddy" loved their gifts as well. So honestly...the truth is...that for the first time in MANY YEARS...I sent no thank you notes for Christmas gifts this year. Yep..that is pretty crappy....being from the South and all...and KNOWING it is the right thing to do.
I mean, really, the biggest slap in the face is that I LIKE writing. I love writing, actually...hence the blog and all. I find writing cathartic...personal...you can say things that you find it harder to say in person...writing is a lost art. And one of my favorite things of all time is getting a handwritten note in the mail. A text, email, or even a phone call is nice...but a handwritten note? That takes time..effort..thought..and postage :) I am NOT proud of myself for dropping the ball on the whole thank you note issue...having small kids is NO excuse.
So, this got me to thinking in general about writing notes. I think it would be awesome to spend some time over the next year writing notes to people in my life -- just notes of thanks, acknowledgement, friendship. Unexpected notes. I think of all the family and friends in my life that deserve to know my love for them... but not just them. I think you have the potential to really to make the day of your children's teachers, janitors at the school, doctors that have helped you, the owners/managers/waiters at your favorite restaurant, anyone who has made your life easier....can you imagine how uplifting and unexpected your note would be? You could literally make someone's day.
Now, don't be sitting around waiting for my note in the mail. This is just a GOAL for me. I would LIKE to try to start writing to more people in my life...I want others to know what they mean to me. It's a goal...just that....a goal for me to start writing notes more often. But, a word to the wise..don't hold your breath. It IS the best laid plans of mice and men and all :-)
Happy Day to you all! Spend just a second to write or speak to others and let them know exactly that they mean to you!
xoxo Jennifer
Confession: I have started dropping the ball these past few years on the thank you notes. I still sent them...but with 3 children, I would hover over those old enough to write the notes and dictate (or let them ramble as they wanted) and then throw in a line or two at the end about how "mommy and daddy" loved their gifts as well. So honestly...the truth is...that for the first time in MANY YEARS...I sent no thank you notes for Christmas gifts this year. Yep..that is pretty crappy....being from the South and all...and KNOWING it is the right thing to do.
I mean, really, the biggest slap in the face is that I LIKE writing. I love writing, actually...hence the blog and all. I find writing cathartic...personal...you can say things that you find it harder to say in person...writing is a lost art. And one of my favorite things of all time is getting a handwritten note in the mail. A text, email, or even a phone call is nice...but a handwritten note? That takes time..effort..thought..and postage :) I am NOT proud of myself for dropping the ball on the whole thank you note issue...having small kids is NO excuse.
So, this got me to thinking in general about writing notes. I think it would be awesome to spend some time over the next year writing notes to people in my life -- just notes of thanks, acknowledgement, friendship. Unexpected notes. I think of all the family and friends in my life that deserve to know my love for them... but not just them. I think you have the potential to really to make the day of your children's teachers, janitors at the school, doctors that have helped you, the owners/managers/waiters at your favorite restaurant, anyone who has made your life easier....can you imagine how uplifting and unexpected your note would be? You could literally make someone's day.
Now, don't be sitting around waiting for my note in the mail. This is just a GOAL for me. I would LIKE to try to start writing to more people in my life...I want others to know what they mean to me. It's a goal...just that....a goal for me to start writing notes more often. But, a word to the wise..don't hold your breath. It IS the best laid plans of mice and men and all :-)
Happy Day to you all! Spend just a second to write or speak to others and let them know exactly that they mean to you!
xoxo Jennifer
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Why I HAVE to believe...
I do not care what religion you are...or even if you categorize yourself as belonging to one religion over another. I do not care if you celebrate Christmas with a tree, Hannukah with candles, or Dawali (did I spell that right?) with sparklers and firecrackers. I. Do. Not. Care. I just need a forum today to express why I HAVE to believe that there is, indeed a God.
Again, if you do not like the word "God"...put in whatever word you like. But I am referring to the larger presence in the universe...the reason we are here...the finger that nudged us all into being. Whether you believe we were formed in one day at God's command or evolved over millions and millions of year. I don't care. But, there is one thing you can not talk me out of...and that is that there IS INDEED a greater being (I call Him "God"...you fill in your own blank)...that started this whole roller coaster ride of "life" that we are on.
There are a million things that I think about that point to God being REAL...being PRESENT...having a PURPOSE in my life....our lives. Just even the sounds of my children's voices can set off a domino effect of feeling like I am EXACTLY where God wants me to me. When I hear scientists on the Discovery channel talking about how many stars they are estimating to be in the Milky Way galaxy ALONE...and the number is so staggering that my mind can not even contain it...I just gotta give that over to a higher power. I mean...there are billions and billions of just STARS in our galaxy...that doesn't count planets, moons, etc.... AND that doesn't count the OTHER galaxies that our telescopes haves snapped pictures of... all billions + light years away. The math involved in even figuring ANY of this out should prove there is a God...the fact that my simple mind is just blown away to the point of being unable to even THINK about it CONCRETES the fact for me that God is there. He has a plan...we are not an accident on some cosmic piece of dust floating through space. We are not. We, I truly believe, in the great scheme of things work pretty darn hard on this planet to love one another and live good lives of charity. Do we fail? SURE. Do we disagree? Well, of course, or there would be no war. But, even if you do not believe in Jesus Christ as a savior or even a religious figure...you can not argue with me about the fact that historians have proved he EXISTED. And he rocked the HELL out of the corrupt governments and churches at the time....preaching for us to LOVE one another...and not just the pretty or the wealthy or the clean or the healthy...but love EVERYONE. Even the sinners. Here we are today...2000 years later, and whether you are a Christian or not, I guarantee that you are trying to live SOME sort of this example in your life. Again, we may fail in our pursuit...but Jesus provided a heck of a role model for us...as did his mother Mary. Role models as to how to be humble, helpful, not afraid to stand up for what you believe, to treat others as your brothers and sisters at all times, to be charitable, and models of how to be OPEN to God's word. To be listening...because you never know when YOU may be needed. When something small you could do in your daily life could, literally, change the course of someone else's life. Powerful.
But, that is not it. I believe that God set us in motion as living beings...with free will to choose how to treat others. I believe that he sent Jesus to show us the ultimate form of charity and love....a person willing to lay down his life to change the world...to teach a lesson..to show that God's love is enduring. But....and this is a BIG but...everyone's faith in this system gets tested. When bad things...awful things...totally unexpected, ridiculously UNEXPLAINABLE things happen, it is human nature (or at least in MY human nature) to ask....WTH????? Seriously, God? Could we not time this crap a little better? Is this necessary??? Escpecially when bad things happen to those around us that we love...friends, family, or even ourselves.
I can not and will not EVER come up with an excuse as to WHY God allows a child to suffer cancer. I don't know why God allows miscarriages to happen...or stillbirths...or the death of a child. I have seen how these things affect my friends and family and, nope, I sure do struggle finding the happy spot in that darkness. I don't see the positives in mothers or fathers dieing at an early age and leaving behind young families with babies/children. I don't see God's perspective when mean people, really mean people, stay strong and healthy and live long lives where they make others pretty miserable...and others who dedicate their lives to others are forced to suffer diseases or sicknesses. I hate that soldiers who are fighting for our freedoms and the freedoms for others are killed for simply doing their job...or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do not understand why natural disasters take the lives of people every day....why are earthquakes, tsunamnis, floods necessary? I do not understand horrific accidents that take the lives of anyone...because that's what they are...accidents. How should the outcomeof an accident be that someone's life is now gone? I am open about this people. I DO NOT GET IT. I do not see God's hand in these places...in these events...and I am pretty sure I never will...and probably sure that I am not supposed to.
But, my lack of "understanding" does not take away from the fact that I DO believe there is a God. I DO believe he is in charge. We may not LIKE his plan...but I CLING to the fact that he HAS one. If not? Where the hell does that leave us? No. I HAVE to believe. I have to believe that as horrific as the scene is in front of us...or behind us...that God knows we can take it. We can handle it. Maybe it will take family, friends, and even strangers coming together to make things "OK" again... that coming together to lift one another up in prayer...as a community of friends and loved ones...is that not what God showed us with his example of Jesus on earth?
I will be the first to admit that when the horrific happens...my first response is usually tears and prayer...but it can also be followed by an anger like no other (and some inappropriate laughter usually sneaks in as well). There are just some things that DO NOT seem fair. And I can TELL myself that there is a "plan"...but in reality, I want to punch the "plan" in the face. I want to take control of the plan, roll back time, and make things "right" again. I can tell you, rationally, that this is God teaching me patience...to have patience with the plan...patience with my fellow man...and patience with Him. Place my faith in Him. But, it is just hard to do sometimes...no matter how strong a person's faith is.
So today I write to reaffirm to myself, just as much as I want to reaffirm to you, that I DO believe. I don't like it all the time. But, like Mary...like Jesus...I am putting myself out there and going to take what the Lord sends me and try to run with it. Try to learn from it. And most of all, pray like a pray WARRIOR for those in my life that need the strength to trust the plan themselves. I have no doubt that my day will come again...when I will need the prayer warriors in my corner...picking up my pieces and reminding me that I DO believe in the plan. And when that happens...please make me re-read this blog.
Blessings to ALL of those surrounding me today who need God's hand and his love...
xoxo Jennifer
Again, if you do not like the word "God"...put in whatever word you like. But I am referring to the larger presence in the universe...the reason we are here...the finger that nudged us all into being. Whether you believe we were formed in one day at God's command or evolved over millions and millions of year. I don't care. But, there is one thing you can not talk me out of...and that is that there IS INDEED a greater being (I call Him "God"...you fill in your own blank)...that started this whole roller coaster ride of "life" that we are on.
There are a million things that I think about that point to God being REAL...being PRESENT...having a PURPOSE in my life....our lives. Just even the sounds of my children's voices can set off a domino effect of feeling like I am EXACTLY where God wants me to me. When I hear scientists on the Discovery channel talking about how many stars they are estimating to be in the Milky Way galaxy ALONE...and the number is so staggering that my mind can not even contain it...I just gotta give that over to a higher power. I mean...there are billions and billions of just STARS in our galaxy...that doesn't count planets, moons, etc.... AND that doesn't count the OTHER galaxies that our telescopes haves snapped pictures of... all billions + light years away. The math involved in even figuring ANY of this out should prove there is a God...the fact that my simple mind is just blown away to the point of being unable to even THINK about it CONCRETES the fact for me that God is there. He has a plan...we are not an accident on some cosmic piece of dust floating through space. We are not. We, I truly believe, in the great scheme of things work pretty darn hard on this planet to love one another and live good lives of charity. Do we fail? SURE. Do we disagree? Well, of course, or there would be no war. But, even if you do not believe in Jesus Christ as a savior or even a religious figure...you can not argue with me about the fact that historians have proved he EXISTED. And he rocked the HELL out of the corrupt governments and churches at the time....preaching for us to LOVE one another...and not just the pretty or the wealthy or the clean or the healthy...but love EVERYONE. Even the sinners. Here we are today...2000 years later, and whether you are a Christian or not, I guarantee that you are trying to live SOME sort of this example in your life. Again, we may fail in our pursuit...but Jesus provided a heck of a role model for us...as did his mother Mary. Role models as to how to be humble, helpful, not afraid to stand up for what you believe, to treat others as your brothers and sisters at all times, to be charitable, and models of how to be OPEN to God's word. To be listening...because you never know when YOU may be needed. When something small you could do in your daily life could, literally, change the course of someone else's life. Powerful.
But, that is not it. I believe that God set us in motion as living beings...with free will to choose how to treat others. I believe that he sent Jesus to show us the ultimate form of charity and love....a person willing to lay down his life to change the world...to teach a lesson..to show that God's love is enduring. But....and this is a BIG but...everyone's faith in this system gets tested. When bad things...awful things...totally unexpected, ridiculously UNEXPLAINABLE things happen, it is human nature (or at least in MY human nature) to ask....WTH????? Seriously, God? Could we not time this crap a little better? Is this necessary??? Escpecially when bad things happen to those around us that we love...friends, family, or even ourselves.
I can not and will not EVER come up with an excuse as to WHY God allows a child to suffer cancer. I don't know why God allows miscarriages to happen...or stillbirths...or the death of a child. I have seen how these things affect my friends and family and, nope, I sure do struggle finding the happy spot in that darkness. I don't see the positives in mothers or fathers dieing at an early age and leaving behind young families with babies/children. I don't see God's perspective when mean people, really mean people, stay strong and healthy and live long lives where they make others pretty miserable...and others who dedicate their lives to others are forced to suffer diseases or sicknesses. I hate that soldiers who are fighting for our freedoms and the freedoms for others are killed for simply doing their job...or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do not understand why natural disasters take the lives of people every day....why are earthquakes, tsunamnis, floods necessary? I do not understand horrific accidents that take the lives of anyone...because that's what they are...accidents. How should the outcomeof an accident be that someone's life is now gone? I am open about this people. I DO NOT GET IT. I do not see God's hand in these places...in these events...and I am pretty sure I never will...and probably sure that I am not supposed to.
But, my lack of "understanding" does not take away from the fact that I DO believe there is a God. I DO believe he is in charge. We may not LIKE his plan...but I CLING to the fact that he HAS one. If not? Where the hell does that leave us? No. I HAVE to believe. I have to believe that as horrific as the scene is in front of us...or behind us...that God knows we can take it. We can handle it. Maybe it will take family, friends, and even strangers coming together to make things "OK" again... that coming together to lift one another up in prayer...as a community of friends and loved ones...is that not what God showed us with his example of Jesus on earth?
I will be the first to admit that when the horrific happens...my first response is usually tears and prayer...but it can also be followed by an anger like no other (and some inappropriate laughter usually sneaks in as well). There are just some things that DO NOT seem fair. And I can TELL myself that there is a "plan"...but in reality, I want to punch the "plan" in the face. I want to take control of the plan, roll back time, and make things "right" again. I can tell you, rationally, that this is God teaching me patience...to have patience with the plan...patience with my fellow man...and patience with Him. Place my faith in Him. But, it is just hard to do sometimes...no matter how strong a person's faith is.
So today I write to reaffirm to myself, just as much as I want to reaffirm to you, that I DO believe. I don't like it all the time. But, like Mary...like Jesus...I am putting myself out there and going to take what the Lord sends me and try to run with it. Try to learn from it. And most of all, pray like a pray WARRIOR for those in my life that need the strength to trust the plan themselves. I have no doubt that my day will come again...when I will need the prayer warriors in my corner...picking up my pieces and reminding me that I DO believe in the plan. And when that happens...please make me re-read this blog.
Blessings to ALL of those surrounding me today who need God's hand and his love...
xoxo Jennifer
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Truth
The truth is that I "pinned" an item on pinterest called "40 bags in 40 days" -- it is a nice list that makes decluttering your house manageable by breaking it into 40 smaller (much less daunting tasks). I have managed about 4 items on the list...seems my promise of the new year of getting more organized is going to take a bit more time than I had hoped...oh well.
So, in the name on all things truthful, I though it would be fun to just be totally honest and name off the things that are on my counter space. Why not...y'all know a lot about me up to this point anyway. This, however, could get ugly and cause you to organize an intervention:
**disclaimer: I have a LOT of kitchen counter/island/table space....as far as you know...
1. Kitchen table: 1 pen (never mind these are not allowed within my 3 year old's reach) and a notebook of paper (that I threaten my girls to NOT touch because it is MINE....I can never find notebook paper!!!!) On the paper is written something like... "To: Elesa". We do not know anyone named "Elesa"...so this is either one of my girls' imaginary friends OR a foreign penpal that I know nothing about.
2. Top island barstool area:
* my kindle
* a Judy Moody book that my 9 year old finished reading 2 days ago
* a hairbrush (because when you have kids, you keep hairbrushes in strange places as you never know WHAT they are going to look like as you are trying to rush out the door despite ASKING them to brush their hair WAAAAY in advance of departure)
* my cellphone
* the half empty can of diet coke that I am nursing before I hit the sack
* my watch (gets in the way while I am typing)
* the entire Sunday paper....though it appears to have been read by someone, since it is in disarray...that person was NOT me.
* 4 bandanas...you know...like blindfolds? I used these for a Christmas party game in my 9 year old's class...evidentally my kids find them fun to play with and the bandanas migrated OUT of the playroom/dressup area to the kitchen.
* A book: "The Complete Walt Disney World 2008"...a little dated? Yes. But my kids like to get it out of the cabinet (and obviously LEAVE it out)...plus we are planning a surprise trip to Disney before too terribly long...the kids do NOT know. You tell them? I hunt you down! ;-)
* A pad of post it notes -- I am addicted to these boogers -- the one on top reads "Brock" in very 1st grade looking handwriting. Who knows what this is code for?
* A hot pink DSi that will no longer charge and the charger that goes with it...both are waiting on the counter for me to mail them back to the company for repair...mail does not run tomorrow, therefore they will STILL be sitting there tomorrow.
* The shipping label for said DSi
* a book titled "I Survived Hurricane Katrina" -- it originally belonged to my 9 year old -- but somehow my 3 year old commadeered it and carries it EVERYWHERE referring to it as his "homework".... "I need to do my homework, Mom. It is in the book." or "Oh Man! I forgot to do my homework!"
* A PILE of papers...some giving directions to how to access my kids' cafeteria accouts online...some dealing with local charities that I have been meaning to send donations to for MONTHS now. A packet of patient information that I have to fill out for my upcoming dermatologist appt.
* All of said paper are sitting UNDER my daily planner/calendar. Mainly to hide the pile of paper from me. It is exhausting just looking at those things every day!
3. On the barstools:
* a MINIMUM of 4 jackets hanging on the back of one of them...we are waaaaaay too lazy to walk to that hall closet or bedroom closet....plus hall closet cleaning out isn't until like bag #20 on the pinterest list I am following so, pretty sure there is not ROOM for the coats in there. Plus, heck, you wear them every day in the winter! Why put them away!?
*3 year old's backpack (used to be diaper bag)...not we just carry snacks, a change of clothes, emergency undies/pullups, wipes, and all his allergy rescue meds.
4. On the island bar area level with the sink:
*decorations (so these barely count as they are really SUPPOSED to be there) -- a pretty coobook on a book stand, a scented candle, a framed copy of "The Lord's Prayer"
* SEVEN different meds and the temperal thermometer...only 3 of these meds are used daily, but I have a superstition about putting away meds. WHEN I put that Motrin into the cabinet, that WILL be the day that one of the kids spikes a fever. Mother's Murphy's Law....so, it stays out on the counter.
* paper towels and a dishtowel...normal fixtures.
* the most gigantic bottle of handsanitizer you have EVER seen...we are sick a LOT around her.
* hand soap (again, normal fixture)
* two trivots
* my purse
*my 9 year old's rosary from her first communion in a white leather case. Have no idea why it is down here. Maybe church inspired her today??
* two cordless phones (really? neither on them on a charger?? BOTH on the counter next to each other? Can't even get those bad boys into different rooms?)
* my 6 year old's charger for the battery in her digital camera that Santa brought
* a bottle of baby oragel....WHAT? No one has bee teetheing in this house is YEARS. NO idea where it came from, surely it has to be expired, and definitely have NO idea how it made its way to the kitchen!
* a gift that I am sending to a friend who recently had a baby...here's hoping my kids do not touch it with cheeto or chocolate fingers before I get that bad boy shipped. This is probably on the list of things that needs to move QUICKLY off the counter.
5. Counter space beneath cabinets:
* homework necessities for kids: notebook paper, agendas sent home from teachers, spelling lists, crayons, a pencil sharpener, 2 pencils, 1 pen, 1 smencil (because I am sure a teacher reallllly wants to smell "Very Berry" while grading your spelling homework), and 1 highlighter.
* a bottle of apple juice (don't talk to me about how it is full of arsenic!) -- I had no room for it in the fridge -- which could be a WHOLE other scary blog list
* normal knicknacks and neecessities: large decoreative jar, toaster, knife block, 2 bottles of decorative oils, 1 set of decorative ceramic oil/vinegar carafes and salt/pepper shakers, another trivot.
* a bottle of pinor noir that has approx 2 oz left in it...b/c leaving 2 ozs. means that I did NOT, indeed, polish off the WHOLE bottle.
* a ceramic cereal bowl that my hubby's mom brought to our house on Christmas Eve...it had salad dressing in it...which spilled all over her car since, you know, cereal bowls do not have lids. She is getting Tupperware or Gladware for her next birthday.
* a gallon ziploc baggie of rescue meds for 3 yr old's alleriges...had them out last night for the sitter to have easy access and have just not put them away.
* to keep with the "First Communion" theme...my 9 year old's pocket-sized mass and communion book. Again, why is this DOWN here?
* my dear husband's pile: wallet, keys, a handkerchief, pile of bills he is taking to work tomorrow to pay online.
* the empty box that my 9 year old's camera from Santa came in...the instructions have been removed...but I am still wary about throwing away the actual BOX. Weird. I know. But, we all know she will eventually break that sucker!!!
* Hubby's cell is charging...mine will soon follow suit
* a phone book with 9,000 things piled on top...included empty DVDs for burning all of our homevidoes.
* change jar
*bag of little cuties clementines
* IRONY: a black "desk organizer" that actually HAS pens/pencils/scissors, etc. in there in a SEMBLANCE of order...unlike the rest of the kitchen counter.
* IRONY: a docking station where you are supposed to be able to dock/charge all kinds of devices simultaneously. This worked great until we need to move one...then it all went to crap. Nothing stays in the docking station to actually CHARGE. It DOES however hide MOST ipod shuffles, ipods, and chargers for many things.
* a manicure set of my daughter's...it is in a case shaped like a flip flop
* eye drops
* nail trimmers
* a tub of trail mix I made as a dessert for the neighbor's get together tonight...damn them for not eating it all!
* a bag of mini oreos (these were my answer to my 3 year old not beaing able to eat the nut-laden trail mix)
* random tools...wrench...pliers..a screwdriver or two. Do these even HAVE an official place in this house?? Because the counter just does not seems right.
* a glass candy jar filled with mints
*more visible charger cords...like to my kindle
*the box to my new iphone...too scared to get rid of it yet for fear I NEED that box..I could really screw this phone up, people. I have secret powers like that.
* a OLD video camera that we do not use...sitting next to the NEW video camera. REALLY? Yep. My OLD digital camera that I do not use anymore is over there too!????? WHAT?
* a pile of car rider/bus rider notes that I stock up on ahead of time...so any time my kids need to NOT ride the bus home, I jsut yank the proper note and date it.
* an envelope of information I used to write sorority recommendations this supper for Panhellenic....yes...this SUMMER. I am afraid if I put it anywhere that I will forget where it is and will then NEED it.
**Please do not call "Hoarders" on me -- I recognize the problem and that is the first step. Surely one of the days on my "40 bags in 40 days" will list "clear off all kitchen counter tops"..if not? I am screwed.
Love y'all!
Have a great day!
xoxo Jennifer
So, in the name on all things truthful, I though it would be fun to just be totally honest and name off the things that are on my counter space. Why not...y'all know a lot about me up to this point anyway. This, however, could get ugly and cause you to organize an intervention:
**disclaimer: I have a LOT of kitchen counter/island/table space....as far as you know...
1. Kitchen table: 1 pen (never mind these are not allowed within my 3 year old's reach) and a notebook of paper (that I threaten my girls to NOT touch because it is MINE....I can never find notebook paper!!!!) On the paper is written something like... "To: Elesa". We do not know anyone named "Elesa"...so this is either one of my girls' imaginary friends OR a foreign penpal that I know nothing about.
2. Top island barstool area:
* my kindle
* a Judy Moody book that my 9 year old finished reading 2 days ago
* a hairbrush (because when you have kids, you keep hairbrushes in strange places as you never know WHAT they are going to look like as you are trying to rush out the door despite ASKING them to brush their hair WAAAAY in advance of departure)
* my cellphone
* the half empty can of diet coke that I am nursing before I hit the sack
* my watch (gets in the way while I am typing)
* the entire Sunday paper....though it appears to have been read by someone, since it is in disarray...that person was NOT me.
* 4 bandanas...you know...like blindfolds? I used these for a Christmas party game in my 9 year old's class...evidentally my kids find them fun to play with and the bandanas migrated OUT of the playroom/dressup area to the kitchen.
* A book: "The Complete Walt Disney World 2008"...a little dated? Yes. But my kids like to get it out of the cabinet (and obviously LEAVE it out)...plus we are planning a surprise trip to Disney before too terribly long...the kids do NOT know. You tell them? I hunt you down! ;-)
* A pad of post it notes -- I am addicted to these boogers -- the one on top reads "Brock" in very 1st grade looking handwriting. Who knows what this is code for?
* A hot pink DSi that will no longer charge and the charger that goes with it...both are waiting on the counter for me to mail them back to the company for repair...mail does not run tomorrow, therefore they will STILL be sitting there tomorrow.
* The shipping label for said DSi
* a book titled "I Survived Hurricane Katrina" -- it originally belonged to my 9 year old -- but somehow my 3 year old commadeered it and carries it EVERYWHERE referring to it as his "homework".... "I need to do my homework, Mom. It is in the book." or "Oh Man! I forgot to do my homework!"
* A PILE of papers...some giving directions to how to access my kids' cafeteria accouts online...some dealing with local charities that I have been meaning to send donations to for MONTHS now. A packet of patient information that I have to fill out for my upcoming dermatologist appt.
* All of said paper are sitting UNDER my daily planner/calendar. Mainly to hide the pile of paper from me. It is exhausting just looking at those things every day!
3. On the barstools:
* a MINIMUM of 4 jackets hanging on the back of one of them...we are waaaaaay too lazy to walk to that hall closet or bedroom closet....plus hall closet cleaning out isn't until like bag #20 on the pinterest list I am following so, pretty sure there is not ROOM for the coats in there. Plus, heck, you wear them every day in the winter! Why put them away!?
*3 year old's backpack (used to be diaper bag)...not we just carry snacks, a change of clothes, emergency undies/pullups, wipes, and all his allergy rescue meds.
4. On the island bar area level with the sink:
*decorations (so these barely count as they are really SUPPOSED to be there) -- a pretty coobook on a book stand, a scented candle, a framed copy of "The Lord's Prayer"
* SEVEN different meds and the temperal thermometer...only 3 of these meds are used daily, but I have a superstition about putting away meds. WHEN I put that Motrin into the cabinet, that WILL be the day that one of the kids spikes a fever. Mother's Murphy's Law....so, it stays out on the counter.
* paper towels and a dishtowel...normal fixtures.
* the most gigantic bottle of handsanitizer you have EVER seen...we are sick a LOT around her.
* hand soap (again, normal fixture)
* two trivots
* my purse
*my 9 year old's rosary from her first communion in a white leather case. Have no idea why it is down here. Maybe church inspired her today??
* two cordless phones (really? neither on them on a charger?? BOTH on the counter next to each other? Can't even get those bad boys into different rooms?)
* my 6 year old's charger for the battery in her digital camera that Santa brought
* a bottle of baby oragel....WHAT? No one has bee teetheing in this house is YEARS. NO idea where it came from, surely it has to be expired, and definitely have NO idea how it made its way to the kitchen!
* a gift that I am sending to a friend who recently had a baby...here's hoping my kids do not touch it with cheeto or chocolate fingers before I get that bad boy shipped. This is probably on the list of things that needs to move QUICKLY off the counter.
5. Counter space beneath cabinets:
* homework necessities for kids: notebook paper, agendas sent home from teachers, spelling lists, crayons, a pencil sharpener, 2 pencils, 1 pen, 1 smencil (because I am sure a teacher reallllly wants to smell "Very Berry" while grading your spelling homework), and 1 highlighter.
* a bottle of apple juice (don't talk to me about how it is full of arsenic!) -- I had no room for it in the fridge -- which could be a WHOLE other scary blog list
* normal knicknacks and neecessities: large decoreative jar, toaster, knife block, 2 bottles of decorative oils, 1 set of decorative ceramic oil/vinegar carafes and salt/pepper shakers, another trivot.
* a bottle of pinor noir that has approx 2 oz left in it...b/c leaving 2 ozs. means that I did NOT, indeed, polish off the WHOLE bottle.
* a ceramic cereal bowl that my hubby's mom brought to our house on Christmas Eve...it had salad dressing in it...which spilled all over her car since, you know, cereal bowls do not have lids. She is getting Tupperware or Gladware for her next birthday.
* a gallon ziploc baggie of rescue meds for 3 yr old's alleriges...had them out last night for the sitter to have easy access and have just not put them away.
* to keep with the "First Communion" theme...my 9 year old's pocket-sized mass and communion book. Again, why is this DOWN here?
* my dear husband's pile: wallet, keys, a handkerchief, pile of bills he is taking to work tomorrow to pay online.
* the empty box that my 9 year old's camera from Santa came in...the instructions have been removed...but I am still wary about throwing away the actual BOX. Weird. I know. But, we all know she will eventually break that sucker!!!
* Hubby's cell is charging...mine will soon follow suit
* a phone book with 9,000 things piled on top...included empty DVDs for burning all of our homevidoes.
* change jar
*bag of little cuties clementines
* IRONY: a black "desk organizer" that actually HAS pens/pencils/scissors, etc. in there in a SEMBLANCE of order...unlike the rest of the kitchen counter.
* IRONY: a docking station where you are supposed to be able to dock/charge all kinds of devices simultaneously. This worked great until we need to move one...then it all went to crap. Nothing stays in the docking station to actually CHARGE. It DOES however hide MOST ipod shuffles, ipods, and chargers for many things.
* a manicure set of my daughter's...it is in a case shaped like a flip flop
* eye drops
* nail trimmers
* a tub of trail mix I made as a dessert for the neighbor's get together tonight...damn them for not eating it all!
* a bag of mini oreos (these were my answer to my 3 year old not beaing able to eat the nut-laden trail mix)
* random tools...wrench...pliers..a screwdriver or two. Do these even HAVE an official place in this house?? Because the counter just does not seems right.
* a glass candy jar filled with mints
*more visible charger cords...like to my kindle
*the box to my new iphone...too scared to get rid of it yet for fear I NEED that box..I could really screw this phone up, people. I have secret powers like that.
* a OLD video camera that we do not use...sitting next to the NEW video camera. REALLY? Yep. My OLD digital camera that I do not use anymore is over there too!????? WHAT?
* a pile of car rider/bus rider notes that I stock up on ahead of time...so any time my kids need to NOT ride the bus home, I jsut yank the proper note and date it.
* an envelope of information I used to write sorority recommendations this supper for Panhellenic....yes...this SUMMER. I am afraid if I put it anywhere that I will forget where it is and will then NEED it.
**Please do not call "Hoarders" on me -- I recognize the problem and that is the first step. Surely one of the days on my "40 bags in 40 days" will list "clear off all kitchen counter tops"..if not? I am screwed.
Love y'all!
Have a great day!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, January 13, 2012
Distractions
Last week I read a Yahoo news article (probably from some trashy news outlet like US Weekly...that I secretly love) that PROVED to me that women, in general, are screwed. I am sorry, ladies. But, it is the truth. We are screwed. For YEARS we have moaned and groaned about how the media portrays women...how we are supposed to maintain perfect bodies, hair, skin, smile, be well-spoken, well-dressed, well-accessorized, have a great career, a perfectly clean home, be a dutiful wife, and stay poised all at the same time (DAMN YOU, Duchess Catherine Middleton for fitting all of these categories with EASE!). I mean, I fail in nearly every category (what the hech is an accessory anyway? And I have enough crumbs on the kitchen floor to feed flocks of seagulls for a month. lol) But, it seems Hollywood still buys into this set of ideals, and this article proved that not all is what it seems in Hollywood (shocking....I know).
The article was about newly-single Demi Moore. Now, let's be clear....I am CERTAIN that some if not all of the quotes that I read were taken out of context (or at least I am hoping so). She was giving quotes about how "unhappy" she was with her body...and that she feels like at age 50 it is "failing" her. This is, of course, in response to the media frenzy that she is too SKINNY. It seems that between the stress of being in a helluva rotten marital situation and living a Hollywood life under the glare of a media-microscope, she can't get her body to be what she wants. Holy shitballs. Seriously? THIS is the woman who at age 40 donned a bikini in Charlie's Angels and sported a toned body -- the likes of which I HAVE NEVER and WILL NEVER possess...and HER body is failing HER? Like I said, the rest of us are screwed! She went even further to state that post-break with Ashton What's-his-name, she is feeling like she is "unworthy of love" and is scared of "dying alone without love"...I am really actually paraphasing...but that was the gist. Now....those statements truly scare me.
My first reactions to the article were quite mixed...I mean, am I supposed to feel sorry for a 50 year old who STILL looks rocking in a bikini, has millions of dollars in the bank, has the finances and ability to have a personal chef and trainer in her home daily? A woman who has three BEAUTIFUL, healthy daughters? And that is where I got confused... Demi is a role model (whether she likes it or not) for women everywhere, based solely on the fact that she is a celebrity. But, by CHOICE, she has 3 daughters...who look up to her....who love her...who need her. And here she is expressing, in the national media that SHE is unhappy with her body. Bells and whistles start going off ... because if I were her daughter, all I would be able to think is, "If HER body isn't good enough, how do I ever stand a chance?" Start bringing in the food disorder specialists for me NOW if I am her daughter! So, now....I think I truly fall on the side of feeling sorry for her. I can not imagine that a person who walks down the street and people clamber to get her autograph or picture...a person who has 3 gorgeous daughters...could EVER feel "less than". Could EVER feel "unworthy of love" or that her "body is failing her". People would STILL kill for her rocking body! And herein lies the problem, I think that Demi has lived so very long in the limelight of the Hollywood microscope that she is now tieing her entire self worth into her looks...and how the media SPEAKS about her looks. Dangerous stuff. That stuff she said about feeling unloveable?? Those are the words of a truly, truly depressed person...because even if she FELT that way, having 3 children should prove that not only are you WORTHY of love...you HAVE love. It's there unconditionally everyday...and those kiddos are going to love you whether you are 103 lbs. or 403 lbs. Period.
The distractions of Hollywood...the focus on body...the focus on fashion...the focus on hob-knobbing...they are just that -- DISTRACTIONS. They distract not only the stars...but us average Joes in the world as well. We start to think that these fixations are "healthy"...when indeed, they are not. When ANYTHING, whether it be your body, exercise, food, friendships, your career....when ANYTHING takes your focus from the core of your life -- YOUR FAMILY and YOUR FAITH -- then the rest is going to crumble around you. You can never take your eye off the prize -- your husband (or wife)...your children...your God. THEY are your existence...they are your reason to push through every day and love yourself...because they are giving life and learning life from YOU. When they see that you put THEM first and FAMILY first, you are setting an amazing example for years to come. Does this mean to abandon all exercise? Well, no! That is a prety bad example, too! Take your kids on a family run/walk in the neighborhood, play basketball or freeze tag, let them SEE that exercise and healthy eating is a part of life....but just that - a PART of life.
When fixations and distractions become your central focus...all else is lost. Hollywood has even brainwashed this spectacular bombshell of a woman, Demi Moore, into thinking she is "not worthy". Well, guess what Demi....YOU ARE. We ALL are. It matters not what size we are...it matters not what age we are...it matters the imprints we are making on the lives around us. It matter the examples we are setting for our children and family and friends.
So, a word to the wise. You do not need the flashbulbs of Hollywood to distract you. Everyday rubble in our lives can distract us...the millions of errands, the extracurricular activities of children, even something as simple as a close friendship...they can actually end up being BAD for us. Distractions. And therefore, from time to time, step back. Take a moment to really LOOK at what your focus is. And if it needs adjusting, adjust it. Your family is looking to you as a role model... separate yourself from negative distractions from time to time and stop to focus on family. Does this mean stop running errands, or pull your kids from all dance and music classes, or drop that friendship like a hot potato? No. No, it does not. But, it DOES mean to be MINDFUL that what you place first in your life...is indeed what NEEDS to be placed first. If you need to take a week or two to step back from distractions, do it. Errands, extracurriular activities, and even good friends will all still be there after the fact. My recent decision to put my phone on "silent mode" from the time homework starts until kids are in bed in MY first step in the right direction. I figure those who NEED me...like REALLY need me...have my landline number. They will find me. No text is more important than time with my family from 4:00-8:00 p.m. Simple as that.
Choose your life focuses, your friendships, and your activities well. They can literally build an amazing life for you/with you....or they can ruin an amazing life that you have built. Demi...take note. You can do this. We all can.
Have a great one, all!
xoxo Jennifer
The article was about newly-single Demi Moore. Now, let's be clear....I am CERTAIN that some if not all of the quotes that I read were taken out of context (or at least I am hoping so). She was giving quotes about how "unhappy" she was with her body...and that she feels like at age 50 it is "failing" her. This is, of course, in response to the media frenzy that she is too SKINNY. It seems that between the stress of being in a helluva rotten marital situation and living a Hollywood life under the glare of a media-microscope, she can't get her body to be what she wants. Holy shitballs. Seriously? THIS is the woman who at age 40 donned a bikini in Charlie's Angels and sported a toned body -- the likes of which I HAVE NEVER and WILL NEVER possess...and HER body is failing HER? Like I said, the rest of us are screwed! She went even further to state that post-break with Ashton What's-his-name, she is feeling like she is "unworthy of love" and is scared of "dying alone without love"...I am really actually paraphasing...but that was the gist. Now....those statements truly scare me.
My first reactions to the article were quite mixed...I mean, am I supposed to feel sorry for a 50 year old who STILL looks rocking in a bikini, has millions of dollars in the bank, has the finances and ability to have a personal chef and trainer in her home daily? A woman who has three BEAUTIFUL, healthy daughters? And that is where I got confused... Demi is a role model (whether she likes it or not) for women everywhere, based solely on the fact that she is a celebrity. But, by CHOICE, she has 3 daughters...who look up to her....who love her...who need her. And here she is expressing, in the national media that SHE is unhappy with her body. Bells and whistles start going off ... because if I were her daughter, all I would be able to think is, "If HER body isn't good enough, how do I ever stand a chance?" Start bringing in the food disorder specialists for me NOW if I am her daughter! So, now....I think I truly fall on the side of feeling sorry for her. I can not imagine that a person who walks down the street and people clamber to get her autograph or picture...a person who has 3 gorgeous daughters...could EVER feel "less than". Could EVER feel "unworthy of love" or that her "body is failing her". People would STILL kill for her rocking body! And herein lies the problem, I think that Demi has lived so very long in the limelight of the Hollywood microscope that she is now tieing her entire self worth into her looks...and how the media SPEAKS about her looks. Dangerous stuff. That stuff she said about feeling unloveable?? Those are the words of a truly, truly depressed person...because even if she FELT that way, having 3 children should prove that not only are you WORTHY of love...you HAVE love. It's there unconditionally everyday...and those kiddos are going to love you whether you are 103 lbs. or 403 lbs. Period.
The distractions of Hollywood...the focus on body...the focus on fashion...the focus on hob-knobbing...they are just that -- DISTRACTIONS. They distract not only the stars...but us average Joes in the world as well. We start to think that these fixations are "healthy"...when indeed, they are not. When ANYTHING, whether it be your body, exercise, food, friendships, your career....when ANYTHING takes your focus from the core of your life -- YOUR FAMILY and YOUR FAITH -- then the rest is going to crumble around you. You can never take your eye off the prize -- your husband (or wife)...your children...your God. THEY are your existence...they are your reason to push through every day and love yourself...because they are giving life and learning life from YOU. When they see that you put THEM first and FAMILY first, you are setting an amazing example for years to come. Does this mean to abandon all exercise? Well, no! That is a prety bad example, too! Take your kids on a family run/walk in the neighborhood, play basketball or freeze tag, let them SEE that exercise and healthy eating is a part of life....but just that - a PART of life.
When fixations and distractions become your central focus...all else is lost. Hollywood has even brainwashed this spectacular bombshell of a woman, Demi Moore, into thinking she is "not worthy". Well, guess what Demi....YOU ARE. We ALL are. It matters not what size we are...it matters not what age we are...it matters the imprints we are making on the lives around us. It matter the examples we are setting for our children and family and friends.
So, a word to the wise. You do not need the flashbulbs of Hollywood to distract you. Everyday rubble in our lives can distract us...the millions of errands, the extracurricular activities of children, even something as simple as a close friendship...they can actually end up being BAD for us. Distractions. And therefore, from time to time, step back. Take a moment to really LOOK at what your focus is. And if it needs adjusting, adjust it. Your family is looking to you as a role model... separate yourself from negative distractions from time to time and stop to focus on family. Does this mean stop running errands, or pull your kids from all dance and music classes, or drop that friendship like a hot potato? No. No, it does not. But, it DOES mean to be MINDFUL that what you place first in your life...is indeed what NEEDS to be placed first. If you need to take a week or two to step back from distractions, do it. Errands, extracurriular activities, and even good friends will all still be there after the fact. My recent decision to put my phone on "silent mode" from the time homework starts until kids are in bed in MY first step in the right direction. I figure those who NEED me...like REALLY need me...have my landline number. They will find me. No text is more important than time with my family from 4:00-8:00 p.m. Simple as that.
Choose your life focuses, your friendships, and your activities well. They can literally build an amazing life for you/with you....or they can ruin an amazing life that you have built. Demi...take note. You can do this. We all can.
Have a great one, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, January 2, 2012
Today's lesson
Listen, I may have hung up my teacher hat once my oldest child started preschool....but you know what? You can take the teacher out of the school...but you can not take the school out of the teacher. There is just sooooooo much that people evidentally a) did not LEARN during their first 13 years of education with the English language OR b) they are too lazy (thank you texting messaging) to ever actually USE proper grammar. Now, that said.... I am totally guilty of the lazy text. When I write "K", it totally could mean "Yes, that sounds like a great plan to me!" -- I am just in a hurry and have no time to write that whole sentence while being chased about by my 3 hooligans. AND there are plenty of times that I do not proofread (often I post to this blog without re-reading...and I NEVER proofread emails). So, most certainly you are going to find grammar and spelling mistakes all OVER my writings. There, I said it. BUT.......for you persistant offenders out there...who truly make me wonder if English is your second language, I am going to provide you with a cheat sheet. Print it. Laminate it. Live by it. Mainly because these mistakes annoy the HECK out of me.
1. The words THERE/THEIR/THEY'RE are DIFFERENT, people. They are to be used in different situations. When using "there" -- think of it as a PLACE. "Where did you put my glass of wine?" " I put it over THERE." See....a distinct location. When using "their"-- this is a possessive meaning that an item belongs to THEM. "I don't know whose bottle of wine this is..." "Oh, it's THEIR bottle"....meaning the bottle belongs to those people sitting across the room from you. Finally, when using "they're"....this is a contraction for the two words "they are"....if you are writing a sentence and can take OUT the word "they're" and put IN "they are" and the sentence still makes sense?? Then BINGO! You got it. "I think they're crazy for not finishing off that bottle of wine". Easy enough.
2. Your/You're .... also totally different words. The main stumbling block here is that texting ruined us on this one. Even I will use the lazy man's "ur" to mean both. Well, the two words are, once again, DIFFERENT. When using "your"....this is again a possessive meaning something belongs to "you". "Whose half eaten cookie is on the counter? Oh, it's your cookie." The cookie BELONGS to someone. "You're" is, again, a contraction. It stands for "you are". The test just like with "they're" is to see if when you remove the "you're" and replace it with ""you are" and the sentence still makes sense then BINGO! You got it.
3. I know this is going to come as a HUGE shock to a few of you....but placing the letter "w" in front on the word "hole" actually changes the ENTIRE MEANING OF THE WORD. Yes. It does. I am not making this up.. A "hole" is an empty space in the ground...you dig one to plant trees, etc. The word "whole" means "entire"....like "My whole family came over for dinner"....the entire family. Not your "hole family"....that, my friends, can and WILL be interpreted in many inappropriate ways.
4. I think the hardest to remember...and I have to test myself on this one often is the use of its/it's. It's a tricky little booger...but if English as Second Language students and all of China can learn it, well by golly, so can United States born citizens!!!!! "It's" is a CONTRACTION...it stands for "it is". ONLY use it if you can put the word "it is" into the sentence and have it still make sense. The tricky part? Usually when we show possession we add 's to the end of a word "Jennifer's pencil, Brenda's joke, Marsha's wine..." Well, this is NOT the case you when are talking something belonging to IT. If your tree has a broken limb.... then "its limb is broken". NO apostrophe. It would not make sense to say "it is limb is broken".... see how nice these little checks work out?
5. We were all taught growing up to put others first...open the door for others...think of others before yourself....therefore it is mind boggling to me that when people write they do not carry this simple rule over into written form. THAT IS STILL THE RULE. When writing about yourself and others .... the others ALWAYS come first. Please do not say "Me and Laura went to the store." Barf. "Jack, Jane, Jim, and I all went to the ballgame."..... I comes LAST in that sentence just because it is POLITE to put others before yourself. And if you are confused about whether to use I or me?? Run the test. Take all other names out and see if the sentence make sentence with just the word "I" or "me". For instance: "I went to the ball game." or "Me went to the ballgame." No brainer people.
6. This is my final lesson for the day. It's a big one. And a pet peeve of mine. And extremely timely since I just got a bunch of Christmas cards with this mistake. Don't take offense....just trying to offer a public service here. When you are referring to your family...or another family....for instance we are the "Hayden Family"....there is MORE than one of us in the family, obviously. When you address us in writing, just make the word "Hayden" PLURAL to represent more than one person.....this means....JUST ADD AN S. I promise...there is NO apostrophe needed. Apostrophes serve two purposes...to form contractions for the word "is" OR show possession (Jennifer's bike). When you send a card to my family and write "The Hayden's"....I have to stop and think....hmmmmm.... which ONE of us on the family is THE Hayden? Since this card obviously only belongs to ONE Hayden. Does this make sense?? Correct usage as I understand it (and I am sure if I am wrong that there are a lot of smarter people out there who will tell me) -- address it to "The Haydens"....just add the s and make it plural. Now....if the last name ends with s??? Get out your old English book and look up the rule....or cheat and write "The Swiss family" :-) I do hope that rant didn't just cost me all of my CHristmas cards next year...I really DO like getting them! I swear I thought I was the only person who thought about this issue until I was a a good friend's house. They have a sign that says "The Smiths" (not really....I am trying to use anonimity here)....but I remember looking at the husband and saying, "Do you know what I love MOST about that painting?" .... His immediate response...did NOT flinch...was "Because it doesn't have an apostrophe." I almost peed in my pants. YES! That IS what I loved. The proper use of punctuation.
I write this blog mainly just because these are all things that have bothered me a long time...plus, it REALLY ticks me off that children in other countries have better English grammar and punctuation usage than those of us here in the USA...with free eduation systems at our disposal...for EVERYONE to attend. Please people...start paying attention in class rather than doodling in the margins.
Happy punctuating!
xoxo Jennifer
1. The words THERE/THEIR/THEY'RE are DIFFERENT, people. They are to be used in different situations. When using "there" -- think of it as a PLACE. "Where did you put my glass of wine?" " I put it over THERE." See....a distinct location. When using "their"-- this is a possessive meaning that an item belongs to THEM. "I don't know whose bottle of wine this is..." "Oh, it's THEIR bottle"....meaning the bottle belongs to those people sitting across the room from you. Finally, when using "they're"....this is a contraction for the two words "they are"....if you are writing a sentence and can take OUT the word "they're" and put IN "they are" and the sentence still makes sense?? Then BINGO! You got it. "I think they're crazy for not finishing off that bottle of wine". Easy enough.
2. Your/You're .... also totally different words. The main stumbling block here is that texting ruined us on this one. Even I will use the lazy man's "ur" to mean both. Well, the two words are, once again, DIFFERENT. When using "your"....this is again a possessive meaning something belongs to "you". "Whose half eaten cookie is on the counter? Oh, it's your cookie." The cookie BELONGS to someone. "You're" is, again, a contraction. It stands for "you are". The test just like with "they're" is to see if when you remove the "you're" and replace it with ""you are" and the sentence still makes sense then BINGO! You got it.
3. I know this is going to come as a HUGE shock to a few of you....but placing the letter "w" in front on the word "hole" actually changes the ENTIRE MEANING OF THE WORD. Yes. It does. I am not making this up.. A "hole" is an empty space in the ground...you dig one to plant trees, etc. The word "whole" means "entire"....like "My whole family came over for dinner"....the entire family. Not your "hole family"....that, my friends, can and WILL be interpreted in many inappropriate ways.
4. I think the hardest to remember...and I have to test myself on this one often is the use of its/it's. It's a tricky little booger...but if English as Second Language students and all of China can learn it, well by golly, so can United States born citizens!!!!! "It's" is a CONTRACTION...it stands for "it is". ONLY use it if you can put the word "it is" into the sentence and have it still make sense. The tricky part? Usually when we show possession we add 's to the end of a word "Jennifer's pencil, Brenda's joke, Marsha's wine..." Well, this is NOT the case you when are talking something belonging to IT. If your tree has a broken limb.... then "its limb is broken". NO apostrophe. It would not make sense to say "it is limb is broken".... see how nice these little checks work out?
5. We were all taught growing up to put others first...open the door for others...think of others before yourself....therefore it is mind boggling to me that when people write they do not carry this simple rule over into written form. THAT IS STILL THE RULE. When writing about yourself and others .... the others ALWAYS come first. Please do not say "Me and Laura went to the store." Barf. "Jack, Jane, Jim, and I all went to the ballgame."..... I comes LAST in that sentence just because it is POLITE to put others before yourself. And if you are confused about whether to use I or me?? Run the test. Take all other names out and see if the sentence make sentence with just the word "I" or "me". For instance: "I went to the ball game." or "Me went to the ballgame." No brainer people.
6. This is my final lesson for the day. It's a big one. And a pet peeve of mine. And extremely timely since I just got a bunch of Christmas cards with this mistake. Don't take offense....just trying to offer a public service here. When you are referring to your family...or another family....for instance we are the "Hayden Family"....there is MORE than one of us in the family, obviously. When you address us in writing, just make the word "Hayden" PLURAL to represent more than one person.....this means....JUST ADD AN S. I promise...there is NO apostrophe needed. Apostrophes serve two purposes...to form contractions for the word "is" OR show possession (Jennifer's bike). When you send a card to my family and write "The Hayden's"....I have to stop and think....hmmmmm.... which ONE of us on the family is THE Hayden? Since this card obviously only belongs to ONE Hayden. Does this make sense?? Correct usage as I understand it (and I am sure if I am wrong that there are a lot of smarter people out there who will tell me) -- address it to "The Haydens"....just add the s and make it plural. Now....if the last name ends with s??? Get out your old English book and look up the rule....or cheat and write "The Swiss family" :-) I do hope that rant didn't just cost me all of my CHristmas cards next year...I really DO like getting them! I swear I thought I was the only person who thought about this issue until I was a a good friend's house. They have a sign that says "The Smiths" (not really....I am trying to use anonimity here)....but I remember looking at the husband and saying, "Do you know what I love MOST about that painting?" .... His immediate response...did NOT flinch...was "Because it doesn't have an apostrophe." I almost peed in my pants. YES! That IS what I loved. The proper use of punctuation.
I write this blog mainly just because these are all things that have bothered me a long time...plus, it REALLY ticks me off that children in other countries have better English grammar and punctuation usage than those of us here in the USA...with free eduation systems at our disposal...for EVERYONE to attend. Please people...start paying attention in class rather than doodling in the margins.
Happy punctuating!
xoxo Jennifer
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)