I hate to say this. I know that I am supposed to love summer in all its glory...but I have started the countdown to the first day of school (that would be this Wednesday, less than 48 hours away...). As much as I love my children and wouldn't trade them for the world, they need to GO somewhere, preferrably AWAY from me. And this whole idea that I wouldn't trade them for the world, I am afraid that they have caught onto this unconditional love thing and are playing it up to the highest degree. Maybe it WOULDN'T be SO bad for them to have a little piece of their minds thinking, "Hmmm....if the travel agency called and offered an all expense paid month long trip to Fiji in exchange for us, would she actually DO it and GO?" I mean, the fear of that would have to work at least a LITTLE in my favor, right?
We start out these last two grand school-free days with a trip to Wal-Mart. It MUST be done....with three kids in tow...to purchase groceries for healthy meals this week, healthy lunches that will be packed, donations for the church picnic, and paraphenalia for my little man's 3rd birthday party that will probably be Sunday - actual bday is Thursday. (No, I have done NOTHING in preparation. He's THREE people. Not 16. And it will only be family....they don't really care.) My girls, despite waking up on the WRONG side of the bed, were really pretty good at WalMart.....I do think that my nearly 3 year old son drank a Red Bull before we headed out though. He was wearing a baseball cap (his insistence) and about 1/3 of the way thru the store began beating me with it...then beating his sisters with it....then throwing it into/out of the cart...pulling it over his eyes and growling/yelling "I am a scary monster!" at the top of his voice. I ended up with that hat strapped to my purse. Next came the throwing of food items in the cart....at his sisters or out of the cart all together. This was followed by a checkout experience that ended with him launching his crocs at other checkout lanes/his sisters/display items. Good times.
We come home long enough to unload and put away groceries. It is then time to head to church to drop off picnic donations. Vince is upstairs playing. When he refuses to come downstairs to leave, I know what's what. I find him sitting in his sister's closet playing with dolls and sitting with a diaper full of poo. When I ask what in the world he is doing, he matter-of-factly answers, "Hiding, so I could poop." Oh, the honesty. I clean him up, talk about my disappointment and how he needs to be a big boy...off we head to church.
The girls argue the WHOLE way to church and lose their "priviledge" to help me carry items into the church office. I mean, really, arguring the enture way TO God's house really does not seem deserving of much short of a good long time in the confessional booth.
We come home and eat lunch. My nearly 3 yr old takes 2 bites of his food, gives me his shifty "catch me if you can!" eyes, and bolts up the stairs. To answer the question before it arises, YES, we DID have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, but when he began scaling it in 2 seconds flat using death-defying tactics, we were forced to take it down. I decide, "Fine. He is going down for a nap soon enough so that we can take a late afternoon trip to the pool, I don't CARE if he goes to bed hungry...." and do not chase after him (b/c really, he just sees this as a game anyway). A few minutes later, he comes down wearing only his t-shirt (which is now wet) and diaper...and carrying a new pair of shorts from his closet. When I ask what is up he says, "Well, I made a mess....and I pooped....so I need to wear THESE shorts instead." Grrrrreat. Yes, he did sneek in poo #2....and when I got upstairs I was equally surprised with MORE fun. He had evidentally gotten a chair of some sort and used it to get up to his changing table area. He had dumped all the diapers, all creams/medicines that were in the basket, had found the old bottle of rubbing alcohol I used to disinfect rectal thermometers with, and opened it....then poured it all over the (*@&*#&(!@@ changing table, I. Was. Livid.
I got him cleaned up, then had him sit in time out (I kept referring to it as his punishment) and watch ME clean up the rest of the mess. THEN, took his hand and lead him down stairs...made him sit at the table where he then cleaned his plate of every morsel of food....I am pretty sure he thought this was part of his punishment. Mainly b/c every time I told him to do something "Sit in the chair while I clean this up." or "Go sit at your spot in the kitchen." He followed by asking, "Why?" and I would respond. "Because you are being punished." To this he would reply, "It's OK, Mommy. I will not get punishment again." Yeah....right. Can I get that signed and notaraized, please?
Now that things are quiet here in the house, I am able to see more clearly that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. My kids NEED space from one another and me. We will pool it up this afternoon....and then the girls and I will have a girl day tomorrow when we send little man to the sitter's for one last day to blow it out and have fun.
It is important to note that when my girls start school on Wednesday-Thursday-Friday....my (by then) 3 year old WILL start potty training. So, I am just jumping from one fire to the next....but I am very open minded about this process (ie: he might not want ANY part of this...so we will try again in a few months)....but I will tell you right now, your prayers for my sanity would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great day everyone! And if summer is coming to an end for you soon, do try to enjoy these last few days with your kids....even if it is while you are dodging my kid's crocs at WalMart ;-)
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, August 8, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I Need A Vacation
Summer is nice. It really is good to not have structure every single day and get to spend time with your kids in the ways that you want to. But there has a BIT too much togetherness this summer for me. After 11 days of consecutive lockdown...strep for one, pneumonia for another, healthy 3rd child who was starved for attention and began making up ailments midweek b/c "She NEEDED attention!!!!" -- well, I am kind of over summer.
The icing on my cake was when I finally took my kids out of the house for our first TRUE outing to church (all 3 kids and by myself) then lunch and to the pool (again by myself). There were only 3 other families there when we arrive at the pool...all in close proximity. I get everyone sunscreened, floaties on the baby boy, and send them on their way. I am trying to unpack towels, set up our little oasis in the shade, and trying to talk to a friend....all the while my children (who have been with me 24/7 nonstop....for ELEVEN DAYS) are yelling "Mom!" over and over and over to the point that it sounds like dueling banjos between them. I stop what I am doing, turn and face them, and give a warning about NOT saying my name again until I am done talking to my friend and setting up our stuff or someone is gonna be in BIG trouble. I turn back around...one dad makes a comment about how the kids are on my nerves, I just gave a pat "Yes....very much so" answer. One of mine yells, "Hey Mom!" in the background....and I ignore it. Continue unpacking. Once set up...I sit for a second before plunging into the pool and I overhear the following comments being made by a mom a few chairs down from me to her hubby: "I know that you think I am too lenient with our children, but if the alternative is...." It is at this point that I realize this conversation VERY WELL may be about ME!!!!!!!!! So, I just cock my head the slightest in her direction to let her know I can hear her...and the conversation stops. Done. Over. Not another word. Do I have proof she was referring to my parenting skills? Nope. Could they have had other conversations I was not listening to about someone totally different? Without a doubt. Do I think she was referring to me? Most likely.
That said, I took my high road, jumped into the pool with my kids and swam the rest of the day. But this is just a perfect example of a person judging a book by its cover. This woman has NO knowledge of me as a mother, friend, or even as a person in general. She had NO idea that my kids had been on lockdown with me for 11 days and that this was our first day out of the house. She had no idea that I had just wrestled 3 kids through church and lunch by myself. She had no idea that I didn't feel great myself, was on an antibiotic, and REALLY need an alcoholic beverage after the week that I had had but that I could not have due to meds I was on. Yet, she found it extremely appropriate to judge me. Unwise, young jedi......unwise.
I look back and can tell you that the last FAMILY vacation I took was to DisneyWorld over a year and a half ago....when all three of my kids got a horrid stomach virus on a rotating basis. I was cordoned to the condo for 48 straight hours at one point (if anyone has my email journal from that trip saved, forward it to me and I will post it...mine got deleted. Priceless. Stuff that could never in a million year be made up). Our kids have been no place (save the Louisville zoo or lunch in Evansville) since then. The last couples getaway that my husband and I had was Derby. Was it fun? Hell yes. LOTS of fun. But, also work. You gotta dress up, look nice, stay looking nice, AND stay drunk all day ;-) Exhausting and fun and would NEVER trade it for the world....but not relaxing and definitely not a "vacation".
I know lots of you out there go places on Fall Break, Spring Break, and even a summer vacation thrown in for good measure. We evidentally do not. I am missing the effing BOAT over here. So, yeah, we have $ for a family trip or couples trip. And I am cashing that in SOON. Happy mommy = happy family.
Have a great day, y'all!
xoxo Jennifer
The icing on my cake was when I finally took my kids out of the house for our first TRUE outing to church (all 3 kids and by myself) then lunch and to the pool (again by myself). There were only 3 other families there when we arrive at the pool...all in close proximity. I get everyone sunscreened, floaties on the baby boy, and send them on their way. I am trying to unpack towels, set up our little oasis in the shade, and trying to talk to a friend....all the while my children (who have been with me 24/7 nonstop....for ELEVEN DAYS) are yelling "Mom!" over and over and over to the point that it sounds like dueling banjos between them. I stop what I am doing, turn and face them, and give a warning about NOT saying my name again until I am done talking to my friend and setting up our stuff or someone is gonna be in BIG trouble. I turn back around...one dad makes a comment about how the kids are on my nerves, I just gave a pat "Yes....very much so" answer. One of mine yells, "Hey Mom!" in the background....and I ignore it. Continue unpacking. Once set up...I sit for a second before plunging into the pool and I overhear the following comments being made by a mom a few chairs down from me to her hubby: "I know that you think I am too lenient with our children, but if the alternative is...." It is at this point that I realize this conversation VERY WELL may be about ME!!!!!!!!! So, I just cock my head the slightest in her direction to let her know I can hear her...and the conversation stops. Done. Over. Not another word. Do I have proof she was referring to my parenting skills? Nope. Could they have had other conversations I was not listening to about someone totally different? Without a doubt. Do I think she was referring to me? Most likely.
That said, I took my high road, jumped into the pool with my kids and swam the rest of the day. But this is just a perfect example of a person judging a book by its cover. This woman has NO knowledge of me as a mother, friend, or even as a person in general. She had NO idea that my kids had been on lockdown with me for 11 days and that this was our first day out of the house. She had no idea that I had just wrestled 3 kids through church and lunch by myself. She had no idea that I didn't feel great myself, was on an antibiotic, and REALLY need an alcoholic beverage after the week that I had had but that I could not have due to meds I was on. Yet, she found it extremely appropriate to judge me. Unwise, young jedi......unwise.
I look back and can tell you that the last FAMILY vacation I took was to DisneyWorld over a year and a half ago....when all three of my kids got a horrid stomach virus on a rotating basis. I was cordoned to the condo for 48 straight hours at one point (if anyone has my email journal from that trip saved, forward it to me and I will post it...mine got deleted. Priceless. Stuff that could never in a million year be made up). Our kids have been no place (save the Louisville zoo or lunch in Evansville) since then. The last couples getaway that my husband and I had was Derby. Was it fun? Hell yes. LOTS of fun. But, also work. You gotta dress up, look nice, stay looking nice, AND stay drunk all day ;-) Exhausting and fun and would NEVER trade it for the world....but not relaxing and definitely not a "vacation".
I know lots of you out there go places on Fall Break, Spring Break, and even a summer vacation thrown in for good measure. We evidentally do not. I am missing the effing BOAT over here. So, yeah, we have $ for a family trip or couples trip. And I am cashing that in SOON. Happy mommy = happy family.
Have a great day, y'all!
xoxo Jennifer
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