I have said it before...even on this blog, I believe. But I just do NOT understand that my husband and I could have created three perfect little lives...all SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in personality. They all exited the same womb, but act like they are unrelated. I have just never seen anything like it. This week highlighted pretty much EVERY difference that my kids have with one another.
My eldest child has anxiety that borders on needing meds. I am not even joking. I need to start keeping a journal so that the next time I talk to her pediatrician I will be able to give specific examples. ie: "We went on an airplane and her father was drinking a water bottle on the way UP to security. She freaked OUT for the ENTIRE line...screeching/tearing up, "Dad! Throw it away! NOW! They will not let you on the plane. They will NOT. Do you HEAR me?? Mom! Tell him!" Me: "There is a wastebasket just next to the security station, they will ask him to throw it away there." Her: "NO THEY WILL NOT! They will not let him through...he will NOT be allowed on the plane! When will you all LISTEN to me?????" OK...so, yeah, that is funny for like 30 seconds...not 30 min as you snake your way through a line toward security surrounded by other people who are prob beginning to think that your hubby actually HAS something "bad" in his water bottle. When we reached the secruity guard and he asked my husband to throw away his water bottle -- he did -- while looking my daughter SQUARE in the eyes and smiling his biggest smile. Way to help the situation, big guy. But, for the record, anxiety queen STILL contends that SHE was right. We were wrong. Despite the fact that everyone is home safe and sound from said trip.
This is just the tip of her iceberg. My eldest is a nervous wreck about everything. Perfectionist. Bordering on OCD. All of these traits will eventually serve her well...but right NOW...they are a HUGE PAIN. Like her anal father, she plans things in her head and by heavens things better pan out that way. If she wants to play on the swings at recess and you do not...well, you are practically not her friend for the day...may be the end of your friendship with her forever. There is NO "go with the flow" for her. We have had the serious talk about "to have a good friend, you must BE a good friend" and this involves give and take. Yeah....she doesn't really care.
I just had to STOP typing to have a never-ending conversation with her about how she can not use my "Words With Friends" app....it's a long story but involves the fact that she uses it to also TOTALLY INNOCENTLY text/play the game with her BFF. Well, second child wants in on the action too...wants to try the game. First child IMPLODES becase her little sister will be able to "SEE" her texts. Believe me..it's on my phone, I look at the texts all the time...there is NOTHING to "SEE". So, I have banned them both from the game so that I don't have to deal. Well, she just came downstairs and gave a great monologue about how me not letting her use WWF is RUINING her best friendship with her friend. I am the bane of her existence..and her little sister is a VERY close second. The conversation ended with me winning (of course) no WWF for anyone involved...and now she is upstairs sobbing uncontrollably. Never mind that "trying to tantrum/yell less" was one of her Lenten promises. Another one bites the dust.
This is also the same child that OCD checks her backpack for homework/test info a MINIMUM of 3 times before leaving for school. It's exhausting...but again, this trait will serve her WELL later in life (if she is not too busy washing her hands 76 times before she leaves the house and checking to make sure her front door is locked 25 times before she can acutally get in her car and drive away).
Enter child #2, possibly the most laid back being on the face of the earth. On the Spaceship Earth ride at Disney her interactive screen acked her if she preferred to have activities "planned ahead" for her or to "wing it". My husband said she never batted and eye as she hit and said out loud "Wwwwwing it!" No truer words spoken. She is laid back like a dead fly. And she is a HUGE button pusher...let's be honest...the ONLY reason she wants to try WWF on my phone is b/c her sister does not WANT her to. It has NOTHING to do with her wanting to expland her vocabulary and critical thinking skills. Being laid back is great in a LOT of settings...makes life easier on those around her. I am pretty sure that my 6 yr old's most used word is "Sure". --
You want to go to eat Mexican tonight? Sure. Is it OK if your sister goes first? Sure. Can you share your snack with your brother? Sure. There is a TIME and PLACE for "sure" though! -- You wanna try a bunch of illegal drugs and then try to fly from roof tops? .... Let's try NOT to answer "Sure." to that one!!!!!!
As a former teacher, I know that some kids are juse BETTER spellers than others. BUT, it also helps if the kid CARES about spellling words correctly...which child #2 does not. She SCOFFS at the idea of "challenge" words...she is JUST fine with her regular list of words, thank you very much. I mean, why would you want HARDER words??!?! Ohhhhhh boy. For real....I practiced her spelling words with her this week no LESS than 70 times. All words some times...other times just the words she struggled with. The practice test she took in class was a joke...so we hit the words HARD last night...and again this morning. I'm gonna let you guess how that test turned out. (she missed 3 out of 12...and none of them had been words that she at ALL struggled with during the week!?!?!?!?). And I will also let you guess how much she cares:.....not.....one...bit. You'd think as a former educator that I would be equipped to handle the situation and light a fire under her...yeah...not so much. Gonna have to research this one: I'll google "Kids that don't really give a rip."
I haven't the time to delve into child #3...he is too busy hitting his sisters, tackling people, using swords to knock over toys and furniture items, lassoing this sisters with his pirate belt while he wears a cowboy hat on this head. I just pray in the years to come that he gets JUST enough of chld #1 to CARE and JUST enough of child #2 to ENJOY life. My guess is that genetics will not be that kind ;-)
Have a great night all!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, February 24, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
True Thoughts from my Hubby
These are TRUE and REAL quotes that I have heard from my husband in the past few weeks.... none made up... none exaggerated.
1. I went to get a massage and afterward he asked if it was "good" and OF COURSE he asked if I got a "happy ending". I laughed and said noooo, but it was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep and woke myself up with a SNORE. His reaction? "You fell ASLEEP during a massage? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? It's a lot like falling asleep when you are with a prostitute." Wow. Thank God my husband would rather take a bullet than get a massage.....at least one that doesn't evidently begin and end with the "happy ending".
2. Before getting my hair done recently, he commented that my hair was "getting dark"....I agreed. Yep, was def time for a touch up and I was overdue...just no time with 3 kids to do such things. A week later, with my hair in a ponytail, my sweet guy says to my children, "Look at Mommy's hair...it is getting graaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Again, wow. This is a man who knows a way to my heart...by insulting my graying hair.
3. He walked THROUGH the room while I was watching Grey's Anatomy and saw ONE piece of a scene. He then reeled on me and said, "If I were in that hospital...when I was finally released I would tell them ALL to F*** Off! With theit snarky little quips and jokes....no way." Yes...because Seattle Grace Hospital is REAL.
4. When referring to an overnight trip we will be taking soon (where we will drink waaaaay too much alcohol)...he said, "You know what establishment is going to get KILLED on the Sunday morning after we check out of the hotel?" Me: "No...where?" The Husband: "WAFFLE HOUSE! I am going to KILL that joint." Shoot for the 4 star restaurants, dear.... shoot for the stars.
This is all I have time for...young people running amok in this house. More later, friends :-) Until then, hands off MY man....he is ALL mine. And, remember, he doesn't understand the whole "blog" thing...has no idea I have written this. Special guy, he is!
Have a great, fun day, all!!!!
xoxo Jennifer
1. I went to get a massage and afterward he asked if it was "good" and OF COURSE he asked if I got a "happy ending". I laughed and said noooo, but it was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep and woke myself up with a SNORE. His reaction? "You fell ASLEEP during a massage? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? It's a lot like falling asleep when you are with a prostitute." Wow. Thank God my husband would rather take a bullet than get a massage.....at least one that doesn't evidently begin and end with the "happy ending".
2. Before getting my hair done recently, he commented that my hair was "getting dark"....I agreed. Yep, was def time for a touch up and I was overdue...just no time with 3 kids to do such things. A week later, with my hair in a ponytail, my sweet guy says to my children, "Look at Mommy's hair...it is getting graaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Again, wow. This is a man who knows a way to my heart...by insulting my graying hair.
3. He walked THROUGH the room while I was watching Grey's Anatomy and saw ONE piece of a scene. He then reeled on me and said, "If I were in that hospital...when I was finally released I would tell them ALL to F*** Off! With theit snarky little quips and jokes....no way." Yes...because Seattle Grace Hospital is REAL.
4. When referring to an overnight trip we will be taking soon (where we will drink waaaaay too much alcohol)...he said, "You know what establishment is going to get KILLED on the Sunday morning after we check out of the hotel?" Me: "No...where?" The Husband: "WAFFLE HOUSE! I am going to KILL that joint." Shoot for the 4 star restaurants, dear.... shoot for the stars.
This is all I have time for...young people running amok in this house. More later, friends :-) Until then, hands off MY man....he is ALL mine. And, remember, he doesn't understand the whole "blog" thing...has no idea I have written this. Special guy, he is!
Have a great, fun day, all!!!!
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, February 13, 2012
What I Learned About Myself and Other at DisneyWorld...
After spending a full week in close quarters with 3 children and a husband...well.. you learn a lot about yourself, your family, and if you are a people watcher like me...well, you learn a few things about others as well. So...let's get right to it. The Cultural Experience that IS Disney (in NO particular order):
1. Evidently, there is a new fashion trend emerging from Asia. I saw MULTIPLE Asian travelers in Disney...and many shared a novel new fashion *bling*. This is *NOT* a sterotype...just an observation... it appears that black panty hose (NOT TIGHTS) are making a come back. Under shorts...under capri pants...with tennis shoes/flats/boots...disturbing. To each their own....but let me tell you... I REALLY thought it was a fluke the first person I saw...and then when I started realllly paying attention...well, it was no accident. The black hose were EVERYWHERE. Creep me OUT! I get it that the Duchess of Cambridge can pull off nude pantyhouse that blend with her skin tone under gorgeous Issa dresses. But, if black panty house are what is coming OUR way in the USA...well, I'm out. I will officially give up on fashion. This is not that big of a stretch since I barely own anything NOT purchased from Target anyway. :)
2. Dear Rascal/Scooter riders, I pretty much dislike you all. My only stipulation on this is that I KNOW there are PLENTY of people who need to use rascals or wheelchairs that don't visually appear to be handicapped. My father in law, in the depths of cancer/chemo/raditation, needed that hanicapped sticker for his car. And I counted my blessing EVERY SINGLE TIME a family got onto the bus with a child (young or teen or grown) in a wheelchair. These parents are ANGELS. So, I GET it. BUT....BUT....I have very little tolerance for people that are renting those rascals for the sheer fact that they are overweight and too effing lazy to WALK the park. THIS is why the rest of the world thinks that Americans are LAZY and FAT. Here's a novel idea....WALK in the parks and you might *gasp* LOSE weight in Disney! Yes, possibly. To quote one of my fave blogs, http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ ... I want to throat punch the lazies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. On a positive note, Disney is pretty much the mecca of helping people like me whose children have food allergies. There are special menu items at ALL eateries...and specialized desserts...AND the chefs come out to talk to you or walk you thru the buffets so that you are totally educated on what is safe...and if you are not comfortable with buffets, ALL restaurants will specially prepare food in the kitchen for you...in allergen free pans/allergen free fryers. Most excellent. But to further this observation, I can NOT NOT NOT believe how MANY kids/people HAVE food allergies these days. Most chefs were OUT in the dining area NONSTOP talking to table after table. I just do not REMEMBER this from my childhood. Heck, EVERYONE ate peanut butter sandwiches, drank milk, and had scrambled eggs for bfast. Ummm...not anymore!!!!!!! If there is not a scientist out there somewhere studying this hardcore, they SHOULD be. I will encourage any of my scinece-interested children into this field. Something has obviously changed!
4. What did I learn about my husband? That, despite feeling crappy a good portion of our trip to Disney, he is STILL the fastest walker in North America. Un. Real. I mean, I jog...I run races...and I STRUGGLE to keep up with his walk. Granted, he was pushing an umbrella stoller with a 3 yr old and I have a double stoller with a 6 and 9 year old (YES...we cram them into the rented ones at Disney b/c if I can't keep up...they SURE as heck can't!). Regardless, I need to sign him up for speed walking Olympic time trials. He'd rock it. In their defense, MOST people in Disney mosey. They are on vacation. My husband is on a MISSION. On day 3 in the park, I looked at my husband and innocently remarked, "We have passed approximately 1.6 million people...and I do not think ONE person has passed us the entire time we have been here." He TOTALLY and seriously deadpanned me, "No, there was that ONE person that ran past us yesterday...it looked like he was really late for something." SERIOUSLY? He could COUNT the number of people who had passed us? So, I really started paying close attention from that point forward...and I counted 3 more people who passed us. All running. We are evidently move like Speedy Gonzalez. Holy.....
5. Disney may be the "happiest place on Earth"....but it is also the "germiest place on Earth". And if you think about it...this makes sense. Pretty much everyone is there with children. They have saved money to go on this vacation...and by gosh, come hell or high water...they are GOING TO THE PARKS. You will hear hacking and coughing and gagging around nearly every corner. Every kid there touches EVERY chain, handrail, surface...and NO amount of handwashing or hand sanitizer is gonna save you. We were no exception. WE were the family that deserved a throat punch. I at least came prepared this trip (our LAST Disney trip had ALL 3 children getting the stomach virus one after another resulting in me being sequestered to the room with puking children and doing laundry for a straight 48 hours, on little/no sleep, but thank HEAVENS with LOTS of wine.) So, you live and learn, on our way into the park, we stop at a Publix and I stock up on food, water, snack, Lysol, Clorox wipes, and lots of wine ( I firmly believe, and have said it before, that I truly believe that germs dislike alcohol...keep it in your system and you will fight those germs off). Hee hee! I believe that it was day 3 that my 9 year old woke me up to announce that she had thrown up. Of course she had! I mean, WHY NOT??? We were up a huge portion of the night. She only got sick twice....kept bfast down in the am...and being the "plan ahead mom" that I was had packed left over stomach meds for ALL members of the family. Medicated her and off we went. That night, my hubby was puking behind a BUSH at the condo as we were waiting for a bus to take us to dinner. Holy Moly. We were like a train wreck. That said...I medicated HIM got everyone to bed in a timely manner...and I sat up by myself chocking my body full of alcohol to ward off all germs. Good times.
6. I am sorry to break the news to my husband .... but I realized on my trip to Disney that 98% of ALL girls aged 12 yrs + are more "developed" than me. Seriously. I have even had three children! But, nope...here I sit with my training bra sized chestal area...and there goes a 10 year old who probably NEEDS my bra waaaaay more than me. Crap. And, for the record, I am WAAAAAAY too scared for "augmentaion". I know it is "safe" and tons of my pals have done it. But I....I will be the ONE person who dies on the table getting a "full B cup". And can you imagine? I have 3 small children. Conversation with a stranger: "Oh...I am so sorry...I had no idea your mom had passed away. Bless your sweet hearts." My 9 year old (or even 6 year old) would quickly quip, "Yeah...she was getting bigger boobs." Nope...not going out that like that people. NOT gonna do it. Maybe where they are like....in their teens? LOL! I kid!!!!!!!! I am a scaredy cat!
7. Parents get PISSED at Disney. And, secretly, I love it. It makes me feel normal. I am not the only one who gets sick and tired of hearing whining and ungratefulness. Thank you, normal parents...thank you.
To be honest...there is a lot more that I leared at Disney...but it's gonna have to be broken down into smaller blogs. I mean that is a LOT of material people....plus I just watched Nikki Minaj (sp?) on the Grammy's from last night...and THAT, my friends, needs a blog all of its own...and lots of thought. Wow.
Love you guys!
Have a great night/day!
xoxo Jen
1. Evidently, there is a new fashion trend emerging from Asia. I saw MULTIPLE Asian travelers in Disney...and many shared a novel new fashion *bling*. This is *NOT* a sterotype...just an observation... it appears that black panty hose (NOT TIGHTS) are making a come back. Under shorts...under capri pants...with tennis shoes/flats/boots...disturbing. To each their own....but let me tell you... I REALLY thought it was a fluke the first person I saw...and then when I started realllly paying attention...well, it was no accident. The black hose were EVERYWHERE. Creep me OUT! I get it that the Duchess of Cambridge can pull off nude pantyhouse that blend with her skin tone under gorgeous Issa dresses. But, if black panty house are what is coming OUR way in the USA...well, I'm out. I will officially give up on fashion. This is not that big of a stretch since I barely own anything NOT purchased from Target anyway. :)
2. Dear Rascal/Scooter riders, I pretty much dislike you all. My only stipulation on this is that I KNOW there are PLENTY of people who need to use rascals or wheelchairs that don't visually appear to be handicapped. My father in law, in the depths of cancer/chemo/raditation, needed that hanicapped sticker for his car. And I counted my blessing EVERY SINGLE TIME a family got onto the bus with a child (young or teen or grown) in a wheelchair. These parents are ANGELS. So, I GET it. BUT....BUT....I have very little tolerance for people that are renting those rascals for the sheer fact that they are overweight and too effing lazy to WALK the park. THIS is why the rest of the world thinks that Americans are LAZY and FAT. Here's a novel idea....WALK in the parks and you might *gasp* LOSE weight in Disney! Yes, possibly. To quote one of my fave blogs, http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ ... I want to throat punch the lazies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. On a positive note, Disney is pretty much the mecca of helping people like me whose children have food allergies. There are special menu items at ALL eateries...and specialized desserts...AND the chefs come out to talk to you or walk you thru the buffets so that you are totally educated on what is safe...and if you are not comfortable with buffets, ALL restaurants will specially prepare food in the kitchen for you...in allergen free pans/allergen free fryers. Most excellent. But to further this observation, I can NOT NOT NOT believe how MANY kids/people HAVE food allergies these days. Most chefs were OUT in the dining area NONSTOP talking to table after table. I just do not REMEMBER this from my childhood. Heck, EVERYONE ate peanut butter sandwiches, drank milk, and had scrambled eggs for bfast. Ummm...not anymore!!!!!!! If there is not a scientist out there somewhere studying this hardcore, they SHOULD be. I will encourage any of my scinece-interested children into this field. Something has obviously changed!
4. What did I learn about my husband? That, despite feeling crappy a good portion of our trip to Disney, he is STILL the fastest walker in North America. Un. Real. I mean, I jog...I run races...and I STRUGGLE to keep up with his walk. Granted, he was pushing an umbrella stoller with a 3 yr old and I have a double stoller with a 6 and 9 year old (YES...we cram them into the rented ones at Disney b/c if I can't keep up...they SURE as heck can't!). Regardless, I need to sign him up for speed walking Olympic time trials. He'd rock it. In their defense, MOST people in Disney mosey. They are on vacation. My husband is on a MISSION. On day 3 in the park, I looked at my husband and innocently remarked, "We have passed approximately 1.6 million people...and I do not think ONE person has passed us the entire time we have been here." He TOTALLY and seriously deadpanned me, "No, there was that ONE person that ran past us yesterday...it looked like he was really late for something." SERIOUSLY? He could COUNT the number of people who had passed us? So, I really started paying close attention from that point forward...and I counted 3 more people who passed us. All running. We are evidently move like Speedy Gonzalez. Holy.....
5. Disney may be the "happiest place on Earth"....but it is also the "germiest place on Earth". And if you think about it...this makes sense. Pretty much everyone is there with children. They have saved money to go on this vacation...and by gosh, come hell or high water...they are GOING TO THE PARKS. You will hear hacking and coughing and gagging around nearly every corner. Every kid there touches EVERY chain, handrail, surface...and NO amount of handwashing or hand sanitizer is gonna save you. We were no exception. WE were the family that deserved a throat punch. I at least came prepared this trip (our LAST Disney trip had ALL 3 children getting the stomach virus one after another resulting in me being sequestered to the room with puking children and doing laundry for a straight 48 hours, on little/no sleep, but thank HEAVENS with LOTS of wine.) So, you live and learn, on our way into the park, we stop at a Publix and I stock up on food, water, snack, Lysol, Clorox wipes, and lots of wine ( I firmly believe, and have said it before, that I truly believe that germs dislike alcohol...keep it in your system and you will fight those germs off). Hee hee! I believe that it was day 3 that my 9 year old woke me up to announce that she had thrown up. Of course she had! I mean, WHY NOT??? We were up a huge portion of the night. She only got sick twice....kept bfast down in the am...and being the "plan ahead mom" that I was had packed left over stomach meds for ALL members of the family. Medicated her and off we went. That night, my hubby was puking behind a BUSH at the condo as we were waiting for a bus to take us to dinner. Holy Moly. We were like a train wreck. That said...I medicated HIM got everyone to bed in a timely manner...and I sat up by myself chocking my body full of alcohol to ward off all germs. Good times.
6. I am sorry to break the news to my husband .... but I realized on my trip to Disney that 98% of ALL girls aged 12 yrs + are more "developed" than me. Seriously. I have even had three children! But, nope...here I sit with my training bra sized chestal area...and there goes a 10 year old who probably NEEDS my bra waaaaay more than me. Crap. And, for the record, I am WAAAAAAY too scared for "augmentaion". I know it is "safe" and tons of my pals have done it. But I....I will be the ONE person who dies on the table getting a "full B cup". And can you imagine? I have 3 small children. Conversation with a stranger: "Oh...I am so sorry...I had no idea your mom had passed away. Bless your sweet hearts." My 9 year old (or even 6 year old) would quickly quip, "Yeah...she was getting bigger boobs." Nope...not going out that like that people. NOT gonna do it. Maybe where they are like....in their teens? LOL! I kid!!!!!!!! I am a scaredy cat!
7. Parents get PISSED at Disney. And, secretly, I love it. It makes me feel normal. I am not the only one who gets sick and tired of hearing whining and ungratefulness. Thank you, normal parents...thank you.
To be honest...there is a lot more that I leared at Disney...but it's gonna have to be broken down into smaller blogs. I mean that is a LOT of material people....plus I just watched Nikki Minaj (sp?) on the Grammy's from last night...and THAT, my friends, needs a blog all of its own...and lots of thought. Wow.
Love you guys!
Have a great night/day!
xoxo Jen
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