Distractions

Last week I read a Yahoo news article (probably from some trashy news outlet like US Weekly...that I secretly love) that PROVED to me that women, in general, are screwed.  I am sorry, ladies.  But, it is the truth.  We are screwed.  For YEARS we have moaned and groaned about how the media portrays women...how we are supposed to maintain perfect bodies, hair, skin, smile, be well-spoken, well-dressed, well-accessorized, have a great career, a perfectly clean home, be a dutiful wife, and stay poised all at the same time (DAMN YOU, Duchess Catherine Middleton for fitting all of these categories with EASE!).  I mean, I fail in nearly every category (what the hech is an accessory anyway? And I have enough crumbs on the kitchen floor to feed flocks of seagulls for a month. lol)  But, it seems Hollywood still buys into this set of ideals, and this article proved that not all is what it seems in Hollywood (shocking....I know).

The article was about newly-single Demi Moore.  Now, let's be clear....I am CERTAIN that some if not all of the quotes that I read were taken out of context (or at least I am hoping so).  She was giving quotes about how "unhappy" she was with her body...and that she feels like at age 50 it is "failing" her.  This is, of course, in response to the media frenzy that she is too SKINNY.  It seems that between the stress of being in a helluva rotten marital situation and living a Hollywood life under the glare of a media-microscope, she can't get her body to be what she wants.  Holy shitballs.  Seriously?  THIS is the woman who at age 40 donned a bikini in Charlie's Angels and sported a toned body -- the likes of which I HAVE NEVER and WILL NEVER possess...and HER body is failing HER?  Like I said, the rest of us are screwed!  She went even further to state that post-break with Ashton What's-his-name, she is feeling like she is "unworthy of love" and is scared of "dying alone without love"...I am really actually paraphasing...but that was the gist.  Now....those statements truly scare me.

My first reactions to the article were quite mixed...I mean, am I supposed to feel sorry for a 50 year old who STILL looks rocking in a bikini, has millions of dollars in the bank, has the finances and ability to have a personal chef and trainer in her home daily?  A woman who has three BEAUTIFUL, healthy daughters?  And that is where I got confused... Demi is a role model (whether she likes it or not) for women everywhere, based solely on the fact that she is a celebrity.  But, by CHOICE, she has 3 daughters...who look up to her....who love her...who need her.  And here she is expressing, in the national media that SHE is unhappy with her body.  Bells and whistles start going off ... because if I were her daughter, all I would be able to think is, "If HER body isn't good enough, how do I ever stand a chance?" Start bringing in the food disorder specialists for me NOW if I am her daughter!  So, now....I think I truly fall on the side of feeling sorry for her.  I can not imagine that a person who walks down the street and people clamber to get her autograph or picture...a person who has 3 gorgeous daughters...could EVER feel "less than".  Could EVER feel "unworthy of love" or that her "body is failing her".  People would STILL kill for her rocking body!  And herein lies the problem, I think that Demi has lived so very long in the limelight of the Hollywood microscope that she is now tieing her entire self worth into her looks...and how the media SPEAKS about her looks.  Dangerous stuff.  That stuff she said about feeling unloveable??  Those are the words of a truly, truly depressed person...because even if she FELT that way, having 3 children should prove that not only are you WORTHY of love...you HAVE love.  It's there unconditionally everyday...and those kiddos are going to love you whether you are 103 lbs. or 403 lbs.  Period. 

The distractions of Hollywood...the focus on body...the focus on fashion...the focus on hob-knobbing...they are just that -- DISTRACTIONS.  They distract not only the stars...but us average Joes in the world as well.  We start to think that these fixations are "healthy"...when indeed, they are not.  When ANYTHING, whether it be your body, exercise, food, friendships, your career....when ANYTHING takes your focus from the core of your life -- YOUR FAMILY and YOUR FAITH -- then the rest is going to crumble around you.  You can never take your eye off the prize -- your husband (or wife)...your children...your God.  THEY are your existence...they are your reason to push through every day and love yourself...because they are giving life and learning life from YOU.  When they see that you put THEM first and FAMILY first, you are setting an amazing example for years to come.  Does this mean to abandon all exercise?  Well, no!  That is a prety bad example, too!  Take your kids on a family run/walk in the neighborhood, play basketball or freeze tag, let them SEE that exercise and healthy eating is a part of life....but just that - a PART of life.

When fixations and distractions become your central focus...all else is lost.  Hollywood has even brainwashed this spectacular bombshell of a woman, Demi Moore, into thinking she is "not worthy".  Well, guess what Demi....YOU ARE.  We ALL are.  It matters not what size we are...it matters not what age we are...it matters the imprints we are making on the lives around us.  It matter the examples we are setting for our children and family and friends.

So, a word to the wise.  You do not need the flashbulbs of Hollywood to distract you.  Everyday rubble in our lives can distract us...the millions of errands, the extracurricular activities of children, even something as simple as a close friendship...they can actually end up being BAD for us.  Distractions.  And therefore, from time to time, step back.  Take a moment to really LOOK at what your focus is.  And if it needs adjusting, adjust it.  Your family is looking to you as a role model... separate yourself from negative distractions from time to time and stop to focus on family.  Does this mean stop running errands, or pull your kids from all dance and music classes, or drop that friendship like a hot potato?  No.  No, it does not.  But, it DOES mean to be MINDFUL that what you place first in your life...is indeed what NEEDS to be placed first.  If you need to take a week or two to step back from distractions, do it.  Errands, extracurriular activities, and even good friends will all still be there after the fact.  My recent decision to put my phone on "silent mode" from the time homework starts until kids are in bed in MY first step in the right direction.  I figure those who NEED me...like REALLY need me...have my landline number.  They will find me. No text is more important than time with my family from 4:00-8:00 p.m.  Simple as that.

Choose your life focuses, your friendships, and your activities well.  They can literally build an amazing life for you/with you....or they can ruin an amazing life that you have built.  Demi...take note.  You can do this.  We all can.

Have a great one, all!
xoxo Jennifer