Hello World!

So, after years of being harrassed by friends and family that I should REALLY be writing down and keeping track of the crap that goes down in this house/in my life....I am taking their advice.  Hence, this blog.  Most of you who know me...know that I am a mom to 3 kids.  8, 6, 2....they are all insane...we will get to that issue sooner or later... but I  love them nonetheless. 

I have been married to my husband for nearly 14 years...as of May 31 it will be official.  And as long as I don't gank him for not setting up his weekend golfing schedule so that I can arrange for sitters for my kids as I get my oldest to/fro 1st Communion practices then all will go as planned and we will make the 14 year mark.  But basically, he has until tonight to get that sh*t all worked out.

I am sure some of my days will be more profound than others....because that's how this house rolls.  It's all in or NOTHING, baby!!!!!  Right now, my children have chosen the "all in" route for sickness.  Which really, they chose back in November.  Not that they can help it.  But, I know that deep down had I purchased stock in Clorox Wipes and Lysol while pregnant 9 years ago, that I'd be a VERY rich woman today.  Seriously.  Ridciulous.

Right now, I have two of my three kids home with me.  My 8 year old and my 2 year old....she is typically in school, this is usually his "pre-pre school" day....kind of a Mother's Day out for 2.5 hours.  Manna from heaven really.  But, nope....they are with me.  On my kitchen counter...at a glance I can count 18 different medicines...and that does NOT include the rescue Epi-pen that I have for my 2 year old and his severe egg/peanut allergies.  Really?  18 DIFFERENT meds?  Nope.  No joke.  And none are mine.  "Mommy's meds" are in her purse for anxiety, which let's be honest, you KNOW I have.  And in the liquor cabinet....because, you know, it's LIQUOR.

So, what's wrong with my kids?  Let's start with the youngest and move our way down the family tree (or is it up?)....hmmm?

2 year old:  starts with the snotty nose and cough last week.  I start him on Nebulizer treatments, decongestants, all on top of his regular allergy/asthma regular meds.  My hubby and I were lucky and BLESSED to have a baby sitter willing to keep all 3 of my hooligans....sick and all...so that we got to go to the Kentucky Derby.  If you have not been, you MUST.  And wear a FREAKING hat.  Don't be a Debbie Downer.  And the more Lady Gaga, the better, I say....I gave a nod to the royal wedding with a fab fascinator this year...but I digress.  When we got home from Derby, lil man was 102.7 with fever....goopy eyes...horrid cough.  Monday's dr. visit revealed horrific double ear infection/sinus infection which was causing leaky eyes AND borderline pneumonia.  Meds for ears would be the same she'd prescribe for pneumonia so no x-rays...but have been vigilant with meds and breathing treatments.  He still looks and sounds like a flipping train wreck, but he is treating my house like the Tasmanian devil off Bugs Bunny.  So, I am guessing he is on the mend.

6 year old:  her journey is MUCH more interesting.  She started with poop issues back in November.  Intermittent diarrhea.  Finally throw in the towel, nothing I am trying (BRAT diet, probiotics) is helping.  Dr. suggests x-ray for possible constipation.  The diarrhea being a result of the fact that nothing ELSE can get through due to blockage. (For those of you reading this that do not have children, man up!  Learn fast that when you have young children about 80% of your time is spent talking about poo...changing diapers, color, texture, frequency... you get the picture).  So, YES, xray shows constipation.  She has been on Miralax since to help things "move along".  She HATES it....tho is has NO taste.  Go figure.  And she lies.  I love my middle child, but she is a liar.  "So, did you poop?"  "No..."  walks out of the bathroom.  I walk in and find it IN the toilet....NOT flushed.  WTH?  Really?  So, we were to have been keeping a "poop journal" for the past 3 weeks....it is quite an amusing read.  And are to return to dr. for update on Friday.  Oh, but there is more.... when getting her dressed for dance last Thursday, I notice this spot (thought it was a wart or molluscum - another gross parenting thing you deal with) on her ribcage is getting bigger/redder.  So, I look at it closely and squeeze it just a bit.  That little f*er erupted like Mt. Vesuvius.  No kidding.  I think a PEA came out of there by the time I was done.  I have been down this road before with my older daughter and know first hand....this IS staph.  She needs topical cream and oral anitibiotic (I soooooo should have been a pediatrician).  I have big sis's cream left over from last year...call nurse to ask for antobiotic...won't give it without dr. visit.  So, Friday before we leave for Derby...into dr. we go.  Yep...needs antibiotic.  But, also has a bad cough...dr. checks that and her nose.  Says she needs serious allergy meds for nasal inflammation/congestion and Robitussin for cough.   It only takes me 2 pharmacies and finally going about apesh*t crazy on the Walgreen's guy to get all needed supplies.  This is my only child at school today...she still sounds a bit like Typhoid Mary , but her staph looks fine to me.  And, like I said, I am practically a dr.

8 year old (who might secretly be 16):  got off the bus on Monday in tears b/c her head hurt so bad, stomach hurt so bad, throat hurt to swallow and NO ONE would help her at school.  I take this with a grain of salt...I was a teacher back in the day...so I know all about the "wait until after lunch" trick.  But she DOES have a fever and wakes in the middle of the night/Tuesday morning with high fever.  So, after being at Dr. on Friday with 6 year old, Monday with 2 year old, I go BACK on Tuesday with 8 year old.  She ends up just having viral throat infection....but I am telling you, her throat HAS to hurt with what's growing back there.  GROSS!  She WANTS to go to school....is pretty sure that she would be chosen to "Crown Mary" in tomorrow's Mass if she were only there to practice today....but she just "feels too bad".  She is NOT typically a liar...so I believe this one.  We have a deal though that since she is just carrying a virus, she will Motrin up as long as there is no high fever and suck it up and head out to school tomorrow.  She will be fine.

So, there you go....between allergies, near pneumonia, fevers, etc...I have been homebound since Mother's Day when I returned from Derby.  Maybe this is Karma for the good time I had?  Well, jokes on Karma right now b/c when my kids are in bed I can still have a stiff DRINK and at least END my day on a good note!  lol

Let me retract that one statement....I haven't been TRULY homebound.  There have been to multiple dr. visitis and pharmacies...and last night I got to go to the WalMart GROCERY after my kids were in bed to restock our fridge/pantry.

Allow me to register a few complaints about late night shopping at WalMart...really, shopping there at any time of day..
1.  I have 3 kids...all in bed...it's a SCHOOL night....and I do NOT understand why WalMart is teeming with young children at 9:00 p.m.
2.  Dear Extreme Couponers, I hate you.  I do NOT want to hear you arguing in the hotdog bun section about how many packages you can buy....and how that many will NOT match up with the number of hot dogs per package that you bought.  And enough with the calculators.  If it takes 4 Pentecostals working as a team to make this money saving effort work, I am pretty sure that it is NOT worth it.
3.  Wear clothes to Walmart...I am not saying Sunday best.  I was wearing workout gear (tho I had not worked out...) - so I am not setting high standards here.  But, please please please refrain from PJs (unless you are on your deathbed and in line at the pharmacy) and refrain from short shorts as well.  They don't look good on anyone over age 20.....and some of you under age 20 need to rethink them as well.  Because either a) you don't look good in them either or b) you are sending the WRONG message to pedophiles.

So I am pretty much out of time for today.  Off to do something extremely fun like laundry or dishes or wiping snot.......none of which I would trade for the world.  God laughs at me a lot, I am certain.  He has a WONDERFUL sense of humor.  I shall laugh with him about it over drinks tonight.

FYI:  I do not proofread :-)

Thanks for reading!  xoxoxo!