First, let's start with the fact that I am relatively certain no one is EVER going to see this blog. I typically link it to FB and now I can't find a darned THING on Facebook. So, good luck everyone! And if you found this, well....send me a tutorial as to how to find it myself. Jeesh.
So, yeah. I have been thinking. I should have been a doctor. Not certain at this point what KIND would benefit me best, but some sort of medical training would be of great help around this joint.
I realize that I am supremely lucky to have healthy, happy children...no one has a chronic or life threatening/changing condition, but that being said, if you looked at my children's dr. appt schedule in the upcoming weeks you would not believe it. So...proof:
Monday, Sept 26: both girls appt. for flu mist
Tuesday, Sept., 27: 6 year old getting cavity filled
Wednesday, Sept 28: 3 year old goes to allergist for his flu shot (allergic to eggs...and flu shot is egg based, must be administered by allergist) AND 8 year old getting cavity filled (quit judging our oral hygiene! I can feel the judgment from here.)
Wednesday, Oct. 5: 3 year old has post-op with ENT for anenoidectomy/ear tubes
Thursday, Oct. 6: 8 year old goes to periodontist for consultation...gum surgery already emminent.
Thursday, Oct. 13: 8 year old goes for 3-D x-ray/CAT scan of teeth...more baby teeth are def getting pulled adult teeth most likely extracted but oral surgeon needs to have a clear picture of what's in there before diving in with the scalpel.
Now, all this is barring the fact that at LEAST ONE of my kids WILL fall ill sometime in the next month, despite the amount of hand washing and hand sanitizer used. AND the fact that two of the above dr. appts are JUST consultations that WILL lead to surgeries/braces/etc. AND, we still have a life to live that involves homework, dance, piano, etc. I mean, really, I spent 4 years in undergrad and another 2 solid while working to get my masters and ANOTHER 2 solid years while working to get my Rank 1 all in elementary ed. I could have an MD by now, right? And really, by the time you have been through 3 kids, you can diagnose PRETTY close anyway. Send me an otoscope to check ears and a strep test kit and I am good to go!
It's a really good thing that I love each and every one of my kids' doctors....that they are good friends of ours...and will not mind when I t.p. their houses after getting a bill that pays for their new "guest wing".
I JOKE!
Love to you all! Have a great day!!!!!!!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
FAIL!
Failure xs 1000! I feel like I am like a tremendous failure over and over again. Ugh.
Here is my life in a nutshell....my Tuesday: Get girls to school. Rush through the grocery store. Call dr. office while we are there to try and get an appt for 3 yr. old to have his ears rechecked....suspect he is still infected which means 2nd set of tubes. The dr. office hems and haws and finally says the ONLY timeslot they can give me is 3:30...I explain that is FINE, but we HAVE to be IN and OUT b/c 6 yr old, 3 year old, and I all have dentist appts to have our teeth cleaned (same building, different office) at 4:00. No prob they say....will place a note of up front for us to be "sent back immediately". My 8 year old has dance from 3:45-5:45 but I resign myself that she can just go early with a snack and homework and sit there for 25 min until her class starts.
First failure, the bus is 20 min LATE. Seriously? 20 min???? The bus driver "wanted to do a new seating chart"...how 'bout you do that at HOME beforehand....you DO have the list of potential riders. There went ANY wiggle room b/c as a mom 20 min = a LIFETIME. I am rushing children in the door...throwing 8 yr old into her dance stuff and getting her hair in a bun (required this dance year); brushing 6 yr old's teeth; waking 3 yr old from nap and brushing his teeth; etc....throwing people into the van.
On the way to drop 8 yr old at dance, it is apparent that we are going to be late for everything EXCEPT her dance. Drop her...race on to dr. Run into massive traffic AND road work. Failure.
Roll into the parking lot and it is ALREADY 3:40. I call dentist and explain we are running behind and they huff at me. I finally just say, we will get there ASAP...just clean whoever you can with time allotted and the rest we will reschedule. Fine.
I walk into the ped office and it is f*ing WALL to WALL people. Not. Even. Kidding. FAILURE. The chick at the front desk hands me a STACK of forms b/c "they switched to a NEW computer system and NOTHING transferred over". No. Way. I explain that I am not even sure that we have an appt. time slot...we are just ear check...they should have a note to send us straight back. She doesn't bat an eye or check but sends me on the way to fill out my paperwork. At 4:10 when I have asked her AGAIN to check with the nurse who ASSURED me that we would be in and out in time for our 4:00 dentist appt, I am STILL sitting in the waiting room. 6 year old finally just asks if she can walk down stairs and get her teeth cleaned....I figure it is more sanitary so we rush out and down the stairs. I literally throw her into the dentist office at a NEW set of hygienists and say something like, "We are still waiting upstairs...start with her...we'll be back in a few minutes." and then run out the door. Failure. I mean, really? They should have just called Child Protective Services right there! FAILURE!
Run back into ped's office...we get called back by my sweet nurse (who is APPALLED al my wait) at 4:20 who is FUMING mad at front desk biatches. We get back and another nurse asks a string of annoying questions...3 year old is screaming like a banshee and climbing on a rolling stool trying to kill himself. My phone rings...it is the dentist's office asking permission to do x-rays of 6 year old's mouth b/c the hygenist SEES something strange. Sure....x-ray her up! Failure.
Ped comes in - laughs at my story - and checks 3 year old's ears. Fluid filled but not infected. Wants to see him in 8 weeks to make sure fluid is gone; I laugh and explain he will be back before then with an ear infection, she agrees...says "see you then and we'll refer to ENT after that happens" and I literally RUN out of the door. FAILURE.
Back downstairs, they tell me they can clean 3 yr old's teeth but not me....fine. I reschedule for Wednesday while 3 yr old is at his little "school". 3 year old end up being a freaking CHAMP at the dentist and acts great. Teeth look great. 6 yr old's xrays? FAILURE. She has TWO cavaties....between molars on each side of her mouth. I take FULL credit for this. Yes, she eats too much junk...AND I started letting her brush her own teeth WAY before I let my 8 year old. And, let's be brutally honest, my 6 year old is LAZY. Those freaking teeth probably haven't felt a brush in MONTHS. UGH! FAILURE.
Hubby was at a dinner meeting, so we do 6 year old's homework in the car and then picked up pizza, pick up 8 year old from dance, come home. I feed everyone; girls bathe in shifts so that I can help the other with homework. Perfect example of 6 year old's laziness....her shower is approx 30 seconds. When pressed she finally cops to ONLY using shampoo in her hair -- no conditioner and NO soap or body wash on her body. AT ALL. FAILURE!
While finishing up homework, 3 year old gets his hands on a water bottle and I say, "Bring that to Mommy, you are going to spill it." To which he responds, by removing the top and dumping all the water on the floor. Followed by a spanking...and time out in a chair. FAILURE.
While 8 year old showers, I bathe 3 year old...on and on. Girls practice piano. I get people in bed 40 min LATE. FAILURE.
I get up at 5 a.m. Wednesday morning and exercise....walk up the basement stairs and can hear 3 year old in his room on 2nd floor yelling "Mommy, I need to potty!" Up I go to get him, yep.... I put him to bed and forgot to put a diaper on him...he wet the bed in the night, though he DID use the potty when he got out of bed. So, commence to making him shower with me at inconvenient time of a.m. so that he won't smell like urine all day. FAILURE.
Realize that today is the day that local 21 yr old (son of 6 yr old and 8 yr old's piano teacher and 3 yr old's kindermusic teacher) is having his body returned to Oboro. He was killed in action in Afghanistan....literally the day AFTER this woman's mother passed away. No joke. I of course have an effing DENTIST appt (obviously rescheduled from FAILURE on Tuesday) that directly interferes with attending the ceremony at the airport, so I race to a spot right after dentist that I know the motorcade from the airport with make to the funeral home and am KICKING myself that I did not plain ahead ahead and get my kids check out of school so they could stand with me. Believe me, the motorcade of a fallen soldier is not easily forgotten....I really wish my girls could have experienced that reverence and love. Failure. I end up stand on the corner looking like a really BAD streetwalker, hair never got fixed, wearing new exercise clothes, but sloppy nonetheless. Several business owners and locals are lining the street in different areas around me...I stand there on that corner and bawl like a baby through the entire motorcade. I can not imagine how that woman is putting one foot in front of the other. The family's limo actually stopped for a moment in front of us....and I could see her with her big glasses sitting in between her hubby and someone else. I mean, I was in a state uncontrollable SOBBING. Failure....just b/c my heart can't even take the THOUGHT of this and she is living it :-( Look over, and there is a NEWSTEAM with their cameras pointed in my direction. REALLY??? This motorcade passed SCHOOLS of children standing outside with flags and you are gonna film what looks like a homeless woman (who has taken off her visor and has visor hair) ??? FAILURE!
And here there I sat on Wednesday night. Gross and disgusting! FAILURE...and I even effing SHOWERED this morning. WTH?
**All the above written was a total play-by-play that I sent via email to a friend about my day. She told me to replace the word "failure" with "normal" in every sentence. It's why she is my friend........**
Happy day, all!
xoxo Jennifer
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, September 5, 2011
What's In A Name?
NO! I have not abandoned the blogosphere! It just seems that somehow raising 3 children is kind of a full time job....and if you saw the disarray of this house you MIGHT wonder what the heck I have been doing with all my "spare time"....I mean "stay at home" moms eat bons bons and watch soap operas right? No....we do mass anounts of laundry, sweep mass amounts of crumbs, finally give up the fight against the toys that KEEP getting dragged out of the playroom and start drinking alcohol. So, there....now you know the truth. Ha! And just so we are straight, I DVR ANYTHING that I want to watch, except I JUST discovered "Dance Moms" and I am totally disturbed by this show....I am watching this live while typing so when I stray and have punctuation and spelling errors, just forgive me! Disturbing reality shows just prove that I am SEMI normal.
So I just have to address the fact that having a birthday AND being an active Facebooker is the BEST COMBINATION EVER. I mean, yes.....getting a REAL card from a friend in person is awesome....but there is just something about getting a string of continuous "Happy Birthday" greetings from ALL kinds of people. And the best? Being able to nail EXACTLY how long you have known a person based solely on how that person addresses you in said birthday greeting! Here are my cases in point:
If you referred to me as "Jennifer" in your birthday greeting: I can tell one of several things about our friendship....1. you have known me for a long time and never strayed from my actual name. 2. you have just recently met me and are uncomfortable with all nicknames 3, we are FB friends....but I am PROBABLY not going to be calling you to bail me out of jail should the occassion arise....not that it ever WILL....but you see my point.
If you referred to be as "Bean" or any version thereof: this is easy....you knew me in high school or early college and heard my high school friends calling me this name. I have several LOVELY young men that I went to high school with to thank for the wide spread panic that is "Bean" -- and no, it does't have ANY good back story. But it sure does show the longevity of our friendship....and how a few boys in high school can easily brand you with a nickname for life. Seriously, I met at girl at UK who tried to call me when I was a freshman living in the dorm and could not understand why there was not a "Jennifer Bean" in the UK system. Yeah...poor girl didn't even know my REAL last name. She might be reading this blog now....
If you referred to me as "JenKing" or "JK": Easy....you were probably one of my Theta sorority sisters at UK. There were too many "Jennifers" around at that time....so I became a shortened version of my first name plus my maiden name. It has stuck. And, yep, there are several of you around that I would TOTALLY call to bail me out.....
If you referred to me as "Jen" or "JKH": you are my post college friends. Some of my college friends have caved to the JKH...but not most. Most of you are my neighbors, running buddies, the people that see me at my best and worst on a daily basis. And, yes, you could very well get a call at 3:00 a.m. from me asking for bail money....I mean, my husband isn't even ON Facebook....someone needs to have my back!!!!!!!!! lol!
If you referred to me as "Mrs. Hayden": ummmmm...please stop! Bahahaha! If I have friended you on FB it means that I know you are OLD enough to handle the truth (most likely you are in college...tho a few slipped under my radar early in the FB game)....which also means I think you should refer to me as "Jennifer". Yes....not calling you for bail money....for goodness sake kids, I TAUGHT YOU! Yes, my "oldest" class of students are now juniors in college....and youngest are like, what? Sophomores in high school....freshman? I am choosing to NOT keep track....I did teach elementary school after all. But, I will say, any reference to me on my bday really does make me emotional. Any teacher will tell you that YOU will ALWAYS be my "babies". Now, please come to my house and explain to MY 3rd and 1st graders that I am NOT the wicked witch hell bent on ruining their lives? And that YES indeed, I am capable of helping with their homework....Thank you very much!
Any other name you called me....well, who the hell are you people? No! I kid! I want more and more bday FB wishes. They ROCK!
And just while we are on the blog topic...y'all are cracking me up with your sweet comments. Who knew anyone would read this? Random people stop me in Target, the grocery, at dinner, and talk about reading this. Cracks me up! Love it! And really? ??? Those of you who I used to work with....are you CERTAIN that my blog is REALLY good fodder for Opening Day teacher meeting conversation? I mean there are young impressionable teachers out there in your school....think carefully before you corrupt them with my blog. Just sayin'!
Love to all!
xoxo Jennifer
So I just have to address the fact that having a birthday AND being an active Facebooker is the BEST COMBINATION EVER. I mean, yes.....getting a REAL card from a friend in person is awesome....but there is just something about getting a string of continuous "Happy Birthday" greetings from ALL kinds of people. And the best? Being able to nail EXACTLY how long you have known a person based solely on how that person addresses you in said birthday greeting! Here are my cases in point:
If you referred to me as "Jennifer" in your birthday greeting: I can tell one of several things about our friendship....1. you have known me for a long time and never strayed from my actual name. 2. you have just recently met me and are uncomfortable with all nicknames 3, we are FB friends....but I am PROBABLY not going to be calling you to bail me out of jail should the occassion arise....not that it ever WILL....but you see my point.
If you referred to be as "Bean" or any version thereof: this is easy....you knew me in high school or early college and heard my high school friends calling me this name. I have several LOVELY young men that I went to high school with to thank for the wide spread panic that is "Bean" -- and no, it does't have ANY good back story. But it sure does show the longevity of our friendship....and how a few boys in high school can easily brand you with a nickname for life. Seriously, I met at girl at UK who tried to call me when I was a freshman living in the dorm and could not understand why there was not a "Jennifer Bean" in the UK system. Yeah...poor girl didn't even know my REAL last name. She might be reading this blog now....
If you referred to me as "JenKing" or "JK": Easy....you were probably one of my Theta sorority sisters at UK. There were too many "Jennifers" around at that time....so I became a shortened version of my first name plus my maiden name. It has stuck. And, yep, there are several of you around that I would TOTALLY call to bail me out.....
If you referred to me as "Jen" or "JKH": you are my post college friends. Some of my college friends have caved to the JKH...but not most. Most of you are my neighbors, running buddies, the people that see me at my best and worst on a daily basis. And, yes, you could very well get a call at 3:00 a.m. from me asking for bail money....I mean, my husband isn't even ON Facebook....someone needs to have my back!!!!!!!!! lol!
If you referred to me as "Mrs. Hayden": ummmmm...please stop! Bahahaha! If I have friended you on FB it means that I know you are OLD enough to handle the truth (most likely you are in college...tho a few slipped under my radar early in the FB game)....which also means I think you should refer to me as "Jennifer". Yes....not calling you for bail money....for goodness sake kids, I TAUGHT YOU! Yes, my "oldest" class of students are now juniors in college....and youngest are like, what? Sophomores in high school....freshman? I am choosing to NOT keep track....I did teach elementary school after all. But, I will say, any reference to me on my bday really does make me emotional. Any teacher will tell you that YOU will ALWAYS be my "babies". Now, please come to my house and explain to MY 3rd and 1st graders that I am NOT the wicked witch hell bent on ruining their lives? And that YES indeed, I am capable of helping with their homework....Thank you very much!
Any other name you called me....well, who the hell are you people? No! I kid! I want more and more bday FB wishes. They ROCK!
And just while we are on the blog topic...y'all are cracking me up with your sweet comments. Who knew anyone would read this? Random people stop me in Target, the grocery, at dinner, and talk about reading this. Cracks me up! Love it! And really? ??? Those of you who I used to work with....are you CERTAIN that my blog is REALLY good fodder for Opening Day teacher meeting conversation? I mean there are young impressionable teachers out there in your school....think carefully before you corrupt them with my blog. Just sayin'!
Love to all!
xoxo Jennifer
Monday, August 8, 2011
Clinging to Sanity...By a Thread
I hate to say this. I know that I am supposed to love summer in all its glory...but I have started the countdown to the first day of school (that would be this Wednesday, less than 48 hours away...). As much as I love my children and wouldn't trade them for the world, they need to GO somewhere, preferrably AWAY from me. And this whole idea that I wouldn't trade them for the world, I am afraid that they have caught onto this unconditional love thing and are playing it up to the highest degree. Maybe it WOULDN'T be SO bad for them to have a little piece of their minds thinking, "Hmmm....if the travel agency called and offered an all expense paid month long trip to Fiji in exchange for us, would she actually DO it and GO?" I mean, the fear of that would have to work at least a LITTLE in my favor, right?
We start out these last two grand school-free days with a trip to Wal-Mart. It MUST be done....with three kids in tow...to purchase groceries for healthy meals this week, healthy lunches that will be packed, donations for the church picnic, and paraphenalia for my little man's 3rd birthday party that will probably be Sunday - actual bday is Thursday. (No, I have done NOTHING in preparation. He's THREE people. Not 16. And it will only be family....they don't really care.) My girls, despite waking up on the WRONG side of the bed, were really pretty good at WalMart.....I do think that my nearly 3 year old son drank a Red Bull before we headed out though. He was wearing a baseball cap (his insistence) and about 1/3 of the way thru the store began beating me with it...then beating his sisters with it....then throwing it into/out of the cart...pulling it over his eyes and growling/yelling "I am a scary monster!" at the top of his voice. I ended up with that hat strapped to my purse. Next came the throwing of food items in the cart....at his sisters or out of the cart all together. This was followed by a checkout experience that ended with him launching his crocs at other checkout lanes/his sisters/display items. Good times.
We come home long enough to unload and put away groceries. It is then time to head to church to drop off picnic donations. Vince is upstairs playing. When he refuses to come downstairs to leave, I know what's what. I find him sitting in his sister's closet playing with dolls and sitting with a diaper full of poo. When I ask what in the world he is doing, he matter-of-factly answers, "Hiding, so I could poop." Oh, the honesty. I clean him up, talk about my disappointment and how he needs to be a big boy...off we head to church.
The girls argue the WHOLE way to church and lose their "priviledge" to help me carry items into the church office. I mean, really, arguring the enture way TO God's house really does not seem deserving of much short of a good long time in the confessional booth.
We come home and eat lunch. My nearly 3 yr old takes 2 bites of his food, gives me his shifty "catch me if you can!" eyes, and bolts up the stairs. To answer the question before it arises, YES, we DID have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, but when he began scaling it in 2 seconds flat using death-defying tactics, we were forced to take it down. I decide, "Fine. He is going down for a nap soon enough so that we can take a late afternoon trip to the pool, I don't CARE if he goes to bed hungry...." and do not chase after him (b/c really, he just sees this as a game anyway). A few minutes later, he comes down wearing only his t-shirt (which is now wet) and diaper...and carrying a new pair of shorts from his closet. When I ask what is up he says, "Well, I made a mess....and I pooped....so I need to wear THESE shorts instead." Grrrrreat. Yes, he did sneek in poo #2....and when I got upstairs I was equally surprised with MORE fun. He had evidentally gotten a chair of some sort and used it to get up to his changing table area. He had dumped all the diapers, all creams/medicines that were in the basket, had found the old bottle of rubbing alcohol I used to disinfect rectal thermometers with, and opened it....then poured it all over the (*@&*#&(!@@ changing table, I. Was. Livid.
I got him cleaned up, then had him sit in time out (I kept referring to it as his punishment) and watch ME clean up the rest of the mess. THEN, took his hand and lead him down stairs...made him sit at the table where he then cleaned his plate of every morsel of food....I am pretty sure he thought this was part of his punishment. Mainly b/c every time I told him to do something "Sit in the chair while I clean this up." or "Go sit at your spot in the kitchen." He followed by asking, "Why?" and I would respond. "Because you are being punished." To this he would reply, "It's OK, Mommy. I will not get punishment again." Yeah....right. Can I get that signed and notaraized, please?
Now that things are quiet here in the house, I am able to see more clearly that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. My kids NEED space from one another and me. We will pool it up this afternoon....and then the girls and I will have a girl day tomorrow when we send little man to the sitter's for one last day to blow it out and have fun.
It is important to note that when my girls start school on Wednesday-Thursday-Friday....my (by then) 3 year old WILL start potty training. So, I am just jumping from one fire to the next....but I am very open minded about this process (ie: he might not want ANY part of this...so we will try again in a few months)....but I will tell you right now, your prayers for my sanity would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great day everyone! And if summer is coming to an end for you soon, do try to enjoy these last few days with your kids....even if it is while you are dodging my kid's crocs at WalMart ;-)
xoxo Jennifer
We start out these last two grand school-free days with a trip to Wal-Mart. It MUST be done....with three kids in tow...to purchase groceries for healthy meals this week, healthy lunches that will be packed, donations for the church picnic, and paraphenalia for my little man's 3rd birthday party that will probably be Sunday - actual bday is Thursday. (No, I have done NOTHING in preparation. He's THREE people. Not 16. And it will only be family....they don't really care.) My girls, despite waking up on the WRONG side of the bed, were really pretty good at WalMart.....I do think that my nearly 3 year old son drank a Red Bull before we headed out though. He was wearing a baseball cap (his insistence) and about 1/3 of the way thru the store began beating me with it...then beating his sisters with it....then throwing it into/out of the cart...pulling it over his eyes and growling/yelling "I am a scary monster!" at the top of his voice. I ended up with that hat strapped to my purse. Next came the throwing of food items in the cart....at his sisters or out of the cart all together. This was followed by a checkout experience that ended with him launching his crocs at other checkout lanes/his sisters/display items. Good times.
We come home long enough to unload and put away groceries. It is then time to head to church to drop off picnic donations. Vince is upstairs playing. When he refuses to come downstairs to leave, I know what's what. I find him sitting in his sister's closet playing with dolls and sitting with a diaper full of poo. When I ask what in the world he is doing, he matter-of-factly answers, "Hiding, so I could poop." Oh, the honesty. I clean him up, talk about my disappointment and how he needs to be a big boy...off we head to church.
The girls argue the WHOLE way to church and lose their "priviledge" to help me carry items into the church office. I mean, really, arguring the enture way TO God's house really does not seem deserving of much short of a good long time in the confessional booth.
We come home and eat lunch. My nearly 3 yr old takes 2 bites of his food, gives me his shifty "catch me if you can!" eyes, and bolts up the stairs. To answer the question before it arises, YES, we DID have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, but when he began scaling it in 2 seconds flat using death-defying tactics, we were forced to take it down. I decide, "Fine. He is going down for a nap soon enough so that we can take a late afternoon trip to the pool, I don't CARE if he goes to bed hungry...." and do not chase after him (b/c really, he just sees this as a game anyway). A few minutes later, he comes down wearing only his t-shirt (which is now wet) and diaper...and carrying a new pair of shorts from his closet. When I ask what is up he says, "Well, I made a mess....and I pooped....so I need to wear THESE shorts instead." Grrrrreat. Yes, he did sneek in poo #2....and when I got upstairs I was equally surprised with MORE fun. He had evidentally gotten a chair of some sort and used it to get up to his changing table area. He had dumped all the diapers, all creams/medicines that were in the basket, had found the old bottle of rubbing alcohol I used to disinfect rectal thermometers with, and opened it....then poured it all over the (*@&*#&(!@@ changing table, I. Was. Livid.
I got him cleaned up, then had him sit in time out (I kept referring to it as his punishment) and watch ME clean up the rest of the mess. THEN, took his hand and lead him down stairs...made him sit at the table where he then cleaned his plate of every morsel of food....I am pretty sure he thought this was part of his punishment. Mainly b/c every time I told him to do something "Sit in the chair while I clean this up." or "Go sit at your spot in the kitchen." He followed by asking, "Why?" and I would respond. "Because you are being punished." To this he would reply, "It's OK, Mommy. I will not get punishment again." Yeah....right. Can I get that signed and notaraized, please?
Now that things are quiet here in the house, I am able to see more clearly that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. My kids NEED space from one another and me. We will pool it up this afternoon....and then the girls and I will have a girl day tomorrow when we send little man to the sitter's for one last day to blow it out and have fun.
It is important to note that when my girls start school on Wednesday-Thursday-Friday....my (by then) 3 year old WILL start potty training. So, I am just jumping from one fire to the next....but I am very open minded about this process (ie: he might not want ANY part of this...so we will try again in a few months)....but I will tell you right now, your prayers for my sanity would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great day everyone! And if summer is coming to an end for you soon, do try to enjoy these last few days with your kids....even if it is while you are dodging my kid's crocs at WalMart ;-)
xoxo Jennifer
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I Need A Vacation
Summer is nice. It really is good to not have structure every single day and get to spend time with your kids in the ways that you want to. But there has a BIT too much togetherness this summer for me. After 11 days of consecutive lockdown...strep for one, pneumonia for another, healthy 3rd child who was starved for attention and began making up ailments midweek b/c "She NEEDED attention!!!!" -- well, I am kind of over summer.
The icing on my cake was when I finally took my kids out of the house for our first TRUE outing to church (all 3 kids and by myself) then lunch and to the pool (again by myself). There were only 3 other families there when we arrive at the pool...all in close proximity. I get everyone sunscreened, floaties on the baby boy, and send them on their way. I am trying to unpack towels, set up our little oasis in the shade, and trying to talk to a friend....all the while my children (who have been with me 24/7 nonstop....for ELEVEN DAYS) are yelling "Mom!" over and over and over to the point that it sounds like dueling banjos between them. I stop what I am doing, turn and face them, and give a warning about NOT saying my name again until I am done talking to my friend and setting up our stuff or someone is gonna be in BIG trouble. I turn back around...one dad makes a comment about how the kids are on my nerves, I just gave a pat "Yes....very much so" answer. One of mine yells, "Hey Mom!" in the background....and I ignore it. Continue unpacking. Once set up...I sit for a second before plunging into the pool and I overhear the following comments being made by a mom a few chairs down from me to her hubby: "I know that you think I am too lenient with our children, but if the alternative is...." It is at this point that I realize this conversation VERY WELL may be about ME!!!!!!!!! So, I just cock my head the slightest in her direction to let her know I can hear her...and the conversation stops. Done. Over. Not another word. Do I have proof she was referring to my parenting skills? Nope. Could they have had other conversations I was not listening to about someone totally different? Without a doubt. Do I think she was referring to me? Most likely.
That said, I took my high road, jumped into the pool with my kids and swam the rest of the day. But this is just a perfect example of a person judging a book by its cover. This woman has NO knowledge of me as a mother, friend, or even as a person in general. She had NO idea that my kids had been on lockdown with me for 11 days and that this was our first day out of the house. She had no idea that I had just wrestled 3 kids through church and lunch by myself. She had no idea that I didn't feel great myself, was on an antibiotic, and REALLY need an alcoholic beverage after the week that I had had but that I could not have due to meds I was on. Yet, she found it extremely appropriate to judge me. Unwise, young jedi......unwise.
I look back and can tell you that the last FAMILY vacation I took was to DisneyWorld over a year and a half ago....when all three of my kids got a horrid stomach virus on a rotating basis. I was cordoned to the condo for 48 straight hours at one point (if anyone has my email journal from that trip saved, forward it to me and I will post it...mine got deleted. Priceless. Stuff that could never in a million year be made up). Our kids have been no place (save the Louisville zoo or lunch in Evansville) since then. The last couples getaway that my husband and I had was Derby. Was it fun? Hell yes. LOTS of fun. But, also work. You gotta dress up, look nice, stay looking nice, AND stay drunk all day ;-) Exhausting and fun and would NEVER trade it for the world....but not relaxing and definitely not a "vacation".
I know lots of you out there go places on Fall Break, Spring Break, and even a summer vacation thrown in for good measure. We evidentally do not. I am missing the effing BOAT over here. So, yeah, we have $ for a family trip or couples trip. And I am cashing that in SOON. Happy mommy = happy family.
Have a great day, y'all!
xoxo Jennifer
The icing on my cake was when I finally took my kids out of the house for our first TRUE outing to church (all 3 kids and by myself) then lunch and to the pool (again by myself). There were only 3 other families there when we arrive at the pool...all in close proximity. I get everyone sunscreened, floaties on the baby boy, and send them on their way. I am trying to unpack towels, set up our little oasis in the shade, and trying to talk to a friend....all the while my children (who have been with me 24/7 nonstop....for ELEVEN DAYS) are yelling "Mom!" over and over and over to the point that it sounds like dueling banjos between them. I stop what I am doing, turn and face them, and give a warning about NOT saying my name again until I am done talking to my friend and setting up our stuff or someone is gonna be in BIG trouble. I turn back around...one dad makes a comment about how the kids are on my nerves, I just gave a pat "Yes....very much so" answer. One of mine yells, "Hey Mom!" in the background....and I ignore it. Continue unpacking. Once set up...I sit for a second before plunging into the pool and I overhear the following comments being made by a mom a few chairs down from me to her hubby: "I know that you think I am too lenient with our children, but if the alternative is...." It is at this point that I realize this conversation VERY WELL may be about ME!!!!!!!!! So, I just cock my head the slightest in her direction to let her know I can hear her...and the conversation stops. Done. Over. Not another word. Do I have proof she was referring to my parenting skills? Nope. Could they have had other conversations I was not listening to about someone totally different? Without a doubt. Do I think she was referring to me? Most likely.
That said, I took my high road, jumped into the pool with my kids and swam the rest of the day. But this is just a perfect example of a person judging a book by its cover. This woman has NO knowledge of me as a mother, friend, or even as a person in general. She had NO idea that my kids had been on lockdown with me for 11 days and that this was our first day out of the house. She had no idea that I had just wrestled 3 kids through church and lunch by myself. She had no idea that I didn't feel great myself, was on an antibiotic, and REALLY need an alcoholic beverage after the week that I had had but that I could not have due to meds I was on. Yet, she found it extremely appropriate to judge me. Unwise, young jedi......unwise.
I look back and can tell you that the last FAMILY vacation I took was to DisneyWorld over a year and a half ago....when all three of my kids got a horrid stomach virus on a rotating basis. I was cordoned to the condo for 48 straight hours at one point (if anyone has my email journal from that trip saved, forward it to me and I will post it...mine got deleted. Priceless. Stuff that could never in a million year be made up). Our kids have been no place (save the Louisville zoo or lunch in Evansville) since then. The last couples getaway that my husband and I had was Derby. Was it fun? Hell yes. LOTS of fun. But, also work. You gotta dress up, look nice, stay looking nice, AND stay drunk all day ;-) Exhausting and fun and would NEVER trade it for the world....but not relaxing and definitely not a "vacation".
I know lots of you out there go places on Fall Break, Spring Break, and even a summer vacation thrown in for good measure. We evidentally do not. I am missing the effing BOAT over here. So, yeah, we have $ for a family trip or couples trip. And I am cashing that in SOON. Happy mommy = happy family.
Have a great day, y'all!
xoxo Jennifer
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Lockdown
When I taught school we had drills for all sorts of things...fire drills, tornado drills, earthquake drills, and then "lockdown" drills (which did actually become important the day a bank down the street was robbed and the get away car was ditched in our parking lot....but I digress). Evidentally, children like mine enjoy a good "lockdown" every once in a while. Yes, of course, this just means one thing....more sickness in the Hayden house that requires us to stay INDOORS and me to Lysol/Clorox wipe/hand sanitize all surfaces on a routine basis. The sweet person who helps me clean my house said that they reason my kids are always sick is because I am TOO clean and they are TOO vaccinated. HA! If only.....
Our fun story begins LAST Monday. Baby boy wakes with a high fever (over 102)...I give him Motrin and he is saying "ouch" with every drink. I figure....well COULD be strep...but more likely the virus that kids in the summer always seem to get that gives them mouth sores. He of course REFUSES to allow to me look into his mouth...so I make a dr. appt. The ONLY available appt was at 4:30 p.m. We go through an entire day...girls go to pool with the sitter....come home and my mom comes to watch them while I take sick lil boy to the dr. You know things are GREAT when the dr. gasps when she finally gets a good look at your child's throat. I think the exact words were, "Ouch! That is a BAD throat. Gross. My guess is strep or mono...it really looks THAT bad." So...in comes nurse for strep swab. Again, it is LOVELY when a nurse dry heaves while swabbing your child's throat!!! Seriously. What was he GROWING back there? Mushrooms??? And wonder of wonders....swab comes up NEGATIVE. Dr. does not really believe this diagnosis...swabs again and sends it for culture...we will get results in 2 days. On the way out, we stop and look at his swab results one more time and it was sort of like looking at a pregnancy test. Between the dr., nurse, and myself we think there IS a faint line showing positive. We walk away with a scrip and the knowledge that culture will tell us more in a few days, but we are covered for now.
I walk into my house and take ONE look at my 6 year old laying on the couch and just KNOW that I am royally screwed. She looks like h*ll!!!!!!!! I take her temp...to the tune of 103.7. Niiiiiiiice. That couldn't have happened ONE HOUR EARLIER so I could have taken her to the dr. TOO? No. No it couldn't, because, people...let me explain...that is NOT how things roll for us!!!!!!!
Tuesday a.m. at the CRACK of dawn I have EVERYONE up. I take the girls in for strep swabs figuring they have all infected one another. BOTH NEGATIVE. Really??? So, dr. says to chalk it up as a virus and wait for culture results...if they show positive, we will treat with scrip....otherwise treat symptoms. Funny thing? 6 year old really HAS no symptoms. Unlike sick lil brother her throat does not hurt, gland are not swollen, stomach doesn't hurt, she WILL eat food and drink, just has high fever.
By 24 hours of antibiotic, lil man is feeling good. Not 100%, but GOOD. And is no longer running a fever. 6 year old, on the other hand, continues to spike a high fever EVERY DAY....sparadocially. One minute she is 100.4.....and 30 min later over 103. Culture results come back on Thursday...NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. So, I am to weather the storm with my 6 year old as viral. By Friday, I am begging for mercy. I haven't left the house (outside of the times that my sweet sitters have taken pity on me and let me run an errand or two)...and 6 year old is NOT showing signs of improvement. In fact, has developed a cough. What....the....hell? I call and beg for meds. The dr. leaves the decision up to me, but I figure SOMETHING in the meds broke my 2 year old's fever, so maybe it will do the same for her. Not so much.
Saturday...24 hours after starting meds...she spikes her highest fever yet....105.2. Good stuff. Today she leveled off at 103.8 at one point. But, I am just TIRED. I feel SORRY for my kids. My 6 year old is GOING to miss at least PART of Vacation Bible School which starts this week. My 2 year old and 8 year old have sort of been held hostage b/c I haven't wanted to spread our germs about town (you can all thank me later). I JUST wanted these last couple of weeks before school starts to be NORMAL. You know? Pool time, relaxing, having fun, shopping for school supplies together...not on lockdown.
Instead, tomorrow my 8 year old will head to VBS solo - her exact words at bedtime tonight were "I mean, when am I going to get some attention around here?!" (To be clear...she has had PLENTY of attention...just craves the spotlight ALL of the time. Drama.). My 2 year old will be with a lovely sitter all day to get him OUT of this Lysoled arena of a house for the day. And my 6 year old and I will head BACK to the dr. I am expecting possible blood work (will NOT be pretty, especially since she really doesn't FEEL bad) and possible chest x-ray. My prayer at this point is to get my 6 year old well enough to hit VBS at least a FEW days this week....and maybe make it to the grocery? Pipe dreams, I know. But, I am setting low expectations in hopes of them NOT being dashed. I mean, heaven forbid I actually HOPE for pool time...that will only DIRECTLY curse my 8 year old into GETTING this same funky endless virus.
So, if you are ever wondering why you don't hear from me. Why doesn't Jennifer ever call? Why doesn't she email or text? What is she DOING? THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING. And I am so freaking far behind on even telling all of my friends of the plight that I have to write it in a blog so that you can know! lol This too shall pass....all parents know this.
Maybe we will all be well in time for the first day of school. Hope does spring eternal.
Happy day, all!
xoxo
Our fun story begins LAST Monday. Baby boy wakes with a high fever (over 102)...I give him Motrin and he is saying "ouch" with every drink. I figure....well COULD be strep...but more likely the virus that kids in the summer always seem to get that gives them mouth sores. He of course REFUSES to allow to me look into his mouth...so I make a dr. appt. The ONLY available appt was at 4:30 p.m. We go through an entire day...girls go to pool with the sitter....come home and my mom comes to watch them while I take sick lil boy to the dr. You know things are GREAT when the dr. gasps when she finally gets a good look at your child's throat. I think the exact words were, "Ouch! That is a BAD throat. Gross. My guess is strep or mono...it really looks THAT bad." So...in comes nurse for strep swab. Again, it is LOVELY when a nurse dry heaves while swabbing your child's throat!!! Seriously. What was he GROWING back there? Mushrooms??? And wonder of wonders....swab comes up NEGATIVE. Dr. does not really believe this diagnosis...swabs again and sends it for culture...we will get results in 2 days. On the way out, we stop and look at his swab results one more time and it was sort of like looking at a pregnancy test. Between the dr., nurse, and myself we think there IS a faint line showing positive. We walk away with a scrip and the knowledge that culture will tell us more in a few days, but we are covered for now.
I walk into my house and take ONE look at my 6 year old laying on the couch and just KNOW that I am royally screwed. She looks like h*ll!!!!!!!! I take her temp...to the tune of 103.7. Niiiiiiiice. That couldn't have happened ONE HOUR EARLIER so I could have taken her to the dr. TOO? No. No it couldn't, because, people...let me explain...that is NOT how things roll for us!!!!!!!
Tuesday a.m. at the CRACK of dawn I have EVERYONE up. I take the girls in for strep swabs figuring they have all infected one another. BOTH NEGATIVE. Really??? So, dr. says to chalk it up as a virus and wait for culture results...if they show positive, we will treat with scrip....otherwise treat symptoms. Funny thing? 6 year old really HAS no symptoms. Unlike sick lil brother her throat does not hurt, gland are not swollen, stomach doesn't hurt, she WILL eat food and drink, just has high fever.
By 24 hours of antibiotic, lil man is feeling good. Not 100%, but GOOD. And is no longer running a fever. 6 year old, on the other hand, continues to spike a high fever EVERY DAY....sparadocially. One minute she is 100.4.....and 30 min later over 103. Culture results come back on Thursday...NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. So, I am to weather the storm with my 6 year old as viral. By Friday, I am begging for mercy. I haven't left the house (outside of the times that my sweet sitters have taken pity on me and let me run an errand or two)...and 6 year old is NOT showing signs of improvement. In fact, has developed a cough. What....the....hell? I call and beg for meds. The dr. leaves the decision up to me, but I figure SOMETHING in the meds broke my 2 year old's fever, so maybe it will do the same for her. Not so much.
Saturday...24 hours after starting meds...she spikes her highest fever yet....105.2. Good stuff. Today she leveled off at 103.8 at one point. But, I am just TIRED. I feel SORRY for my kids. My 6 year old is GOING to miss at least PART of Vacation Bible School which starts this week. My 2 year old and 8 year old have sort of been held hostage b/c I haven't wanted to spread our germs about town (you can all thank me later). I JUST wanted these last couple of weeks before school starts to be NORMAL. You know? Pool time, relaxing, having fun, shopping for school supplies together...not on lockdown.
Instead, tomorrow my 8 year old will head to VBS solo - her exact words at bedtime tonight were "I mean, when am I going to get some attention around here?!" (To be clear...she has had PLENTY of attention...just craves the spotlight ALL of the time. Drama.). My 2 year old will be with a lovely sitter all day to get him OUT of this Lysoled arena of a house for the day. And my 6 year old and I will head BACK to the dr. I am expecting possible blood work (will NOT be pretty, especially since she really doesn't FEEL bad) and possible chest x-ray. My prayer at this point is to get my 6 year old well enough to hit VBS at least a FEW days this week....and maybe make it to the grocery? Pipe dreams, I know. But, I am setting low expectations in hopes of them NOT being dashed. I mean, heaven forbid I actually HOPE for pool time...that will only DIRECTLY curse my 8 year old into GETTING this same funky endless virus.
So, if you are ever wondering why you don't hear from me. Why doesn't Jennifer ever call? Why doesn't she email or text? What is she DOING? THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING. And I am so freaking far behind on even telling all of my friends of the plight that I have to write it in a blog so that you can know! lol This too shall pass....all parents know this.
Maybe we will all be well in time for the first day of school. Hope does spring eternal.
Happy day, all!
xoxo
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Who IS that and what is she doing NOW?
It started simply enough...I walked past a mirror after the shower one morning and catch a glimpse of a person that I do NOT recognize. Whose stomach and mid-section IS that? Whose thighs? What the....??? Holy sh*tballs.........that's ME!!!!! So, yeah, even though I am a regular exerciser (5-6 days/week...most often running)...things are not working out for me in the "tone up" department. There are several classes I am going to take that the HealthPark here in town once school is in session and my days are not filled with swim team, dance camps, vacation bible schools, etc....and I am sure those classes will help. But what I saw in that mirror was APPALLING and I was ready to do something STAT.
Well, as it would be....I had been asked by several friends if I was going to be running in a 5K or 10K race that was running this past Saturday evening. Let's be specifiic...it is JULY in KENTUCKY. Owensboro JUST made the NATIONAL news tonight for having the highest heat index in the COUNTRY this past few days. But, hell yeah, I signed up for that 10K. I ran it last year...it was horrid (kind of like childbirth, you forget how bad it ACTUALLY was)....but there were lots of people last year and I took comfort in that. So, I show up at 5:00 p.m. for the run and my van is reading 90 degrees....which in KY means like 135 degrees. I power on. Find a couple of my friends (one is super speedy and I have NO intention of keeping up with her...the other I figure I can hang with for MOST of the time...tho she is super young and spritely)....and then we line up. I look around and find that THIS year...most people are not as stupid as me. Every person around me is a TRUE runner. Like 20 years old (or younger/older) and wearing only sports bras and tighty tight running underwear looking things. Oh...dear...Lord.
The first cross country race that my 6 year old ever ran in, she came in last (to her defense...she doesn't KNOW she was last and she was a kindergartner amongst 1-6th graders...but she also sucks as a runner in general. Sweating is not really her thing.). When I said to her "I am SO proud of you...you FINISHED and never walked!" Her reaction was "Yeah...I couldn't stop or that man on the machine was gonna run over me!" She was of course referring to the 4-wheeler that follows the last runner in....watches for those in need of medical care, etc. Well....that was ME in this 10K for a LONG time. That damned cart was on my heels...and did not do a lot for my self esteem!
FWIW....I was alright until about mile 2.5 when I realize that I have OVER hydated and am now using keugle exercises to keep from pissing my pants....which is only half-way working. Or not working at all as the case may be. I have had 3 kids, for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that it was effing HOT AS HADES???? Yep...by 3.5 miles I was in walk/run mode....I willed myself to finish and run it out at the end. Only b/c my hubby sweet baby boy was there at the end waiting for me. Overall....Most. Horrible .Race. Ever. I finished and said, "Why do I run? I don't even think I LIKE it!?!?!!?" It took me a full hour to finish...a time that I was/am NOT proud of. I went home showered...got 2 yr old in bed...and went to neighbor's house and commenced to making her get drunk with me to kill my mental/physical pain of that race! While there? I got a text from speedy friend who stayed for awards ceremony saying that I PLACED in my age division. Of course, I ask "Does this mean that I placed 3rd in my age group and there were only three of us IN my age group?" Her answer: "NO! You placed SECOND....and there were 2 people in your age group." I drank more wine in celebration. And let me tell you something...my medal better BE IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!!!! It was the worst race of my life and I need proof that i finished, however badly! LOL!
So....in seeing that horrid profile in myself in the mirror caused me to do another knee-jerk action. I ordered a series of DVDs....the Tracy Anderson Method (Metamorphosis). It arrived 2 days ago. There is a 30 min cardio dance section that you are to do daily. The best that I can describe it as is me looking like a fraggle doing something similar to sexy club dancing....except despite my coordination, I don't even REMOTELY resemble TRACY. Lol. Then there is a weight/muscle section that isolates and works on problem areas that you identify. Ummmm.... yeah.....my legs are gonna fall off. That woman is a MACHINE. The program is complete...cardio/weight and resistance training/diet. Of course, her biggest endorser is Gwyneth Paltrow ... Demi and Courtney Cox love her too. And after doing this program for two days like a crippled fraggle...let me tell you. I am certain the program would work if I stayed on the program...it's 6 days on/1 day off. But, that makes it hard to run, which I am going to do. But, that aside..let's say I follow strictly the 90 day plan of 6 days on/1 day off.....Ms. Anderson can shove her dietary advice up her arse. I mean....REALLY...does she think that for a single second I am going to eat pureed carrots and parsnips for the first 4 days of this program? Maybe if I am Gwyn and have someone paid to force feed me and then slap food out of my hands at other time. HELL to the NO...I don't eat BABY food/ And, dear Tracy, when you say you "recommend" 3 glasses of wine per week...you better specify the amount of ozs......I have some BIG wine glasses!!!!!!!!!!
Yet...I will run in the a.m. and Tracy myself in the evening....and I will keep trying to choose the Baked Lay's over other chips....and I will hate ever minute of it.
Happy day, everyone!
Jennifer
Well, as it would be....I had been asked by several friends if I was going to be running in a 5K or 10K race that was running this past Saturday evening. Let's be specifiic...it is JULY in KENTUCKY. Owensboro JUST made the NATIONAL news tonight for having the highest heat index in the COUNTRY this past few days. But, hell yeah, I signed up for that 10K. I ran it last year...it was horrid (kind of like childbirth, you forget how bad it ACTUALLY was)....but there were lots of people last year and I took comfort in that. So, I show up at 5:00 p.m. for the run and my van is reading 90 degrees....which in KY means like 135 degrees. I power on. Find a couple of my friends (one is super speedy and I have NO intention of keeping up with her...the other I figure I can hang with for MOST of the time...tho she is super young and spritely)....and then we line up. I look around and find that THIS year...most people are not as stupid as me. Every person around me is a TRUE runner. Like 20 years old (or younger/older) and wearing only sports bras and tighty tight running underwear looking things. Oh...dear...Lord.
The first cross country race that my 6 year old ever ran in, she came in last (to her defense...she doesn't KNOW she was last and she was a kindergartner amongst 1-6th graders...but she also sucks as a runner in general. Sweating is not really her thing.). When I said to her "I am SO proud of you...you FINISHED and never walked!" Her reaction was "Yeah...I couldn't stop or that man on the machine was gonna run over me!" She was of course referring to the 4-wheeler that follows the last runner in....watches for those in need of medical care, etc. Well....that was ME in this 10K for a LONG time. That damned cart was on my heels...and did not do a lot for my self esteem!
FWIW....I was alright until about mile 2.5 when I realize that I have OVER hydated and am now using keugle exercises to keep from pissing my pants....which is only half-way working. Or not working at all as the case may be. I have had 3 kids, for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that it was effing HOT AS HADES???? Yep...by 3.5 miles I was in walk/run mode....I willed myself to finish and run it out at the end. Only b/c my hubby sweet baby boy was there at the end waiting for me. Overall....Most. Horrible .Race. Ever. I finished and said, "Why do I run? I don't even think I LIKE it!?!?!!?" It took me a full hour to finish...a time that I was/am NOT proud of. I went home showered...got 2 yr old in bed...and went to neighbor's house and commenced to making her get drunk with me to kill my mental/physical pain of that race! While there? I got a text from speedy friend who stayed for awards ceremony saying that I PLACED in my age division. Of course, I ask "Does this mean that I placed 3rd in my age group and there were only three of us IN my age group?" Her answer: "NO! You placed SECOND....and there were 2 people in your age group." I drank more wine in celebration. And let me tell you something...my medal better BE IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!!!! It was the worst race of my life and I need proof that i finished, however badly! LOL!
So....in seeing that horrid profile in myself in the mirror caused me to do another knee-jerk action. I ordered a series of DVDs....the Tracy Anderson Method (Metamorphosis). It arrived 2 days ago. There is a 30 min cardio dance section that you are to do daily. The best that I can describe it as is me looking like a fraggle doing something similar to sexy club dancing....except despite my coordination, I don't even REMOTELY resemble TRACY. Lol. Then there is a weight/muscle section that isolates and works on problem areas that you identify. Ummmm.... yeah.....my legs are gonna fall off. That woman is a MACHINE. The program is complete...cardio/weight and resistance training/diet. Of course, her biggest endorser is Gwyneth Paltrow ... Demi and Courtney Cox love her too. And after doing this program for two days like a crippled fraggle...let me tell you. I am certain the program would work if I stayed on the program...it's 6 days on/1 day off. But, that makes it hard to run, which I am going to do. But, that aside..let's say I follow strictly the 90 day plan of 6 days on/1 day off.....Ms. Anderson can shove her dietary advice up her arse. I mean....REALLY...does she think that for a single second I am going to eat pureed carrots and parsnips for the first 4 days of this program? Maybe if I am Gwyn and have someone paid to force feed me and then slap food out of my hands at other time. HELL to the NO...I don't eat BABY food/ And, dear Tracy, when you say you "recommend" 3 glasses of wine per week...you better specify the amount of ozs......I have some BIG wine glasses!!!!!!!!!!
Yet...I will run in the a.m. and Tracy myself in the evening....and I will keep trying to choose the Baked Lay's over other chips....and I will hate ever minute of it.
Happy day, everyone!
Jennifer
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