When I taught school we had drills for all sorts of things...fire drills, tornado drills, earthquake drills, and then "lockdown" drills (which did actually become important the day a bank down the street was robbed and the get away car was ditched in our parking lot....but I digress). Evidentally, children like mine enjoy a good "lockdown" every once in a while. Yes, of course, this just means one thing....more sickness in the Hayden house that requires us to stay INDOORS and me to Lysol/Clorox wipe/hand sanitize all surfaces on a routine basis. The sweet person who helps me clean my house said that they reason my kids are always sick is because I am TOO clean and they are TOO vaccinated. HA! If only.....
Our fun story begins LAST Monday. Baby boy wakes with a high fever (over 102)...I give him Motrin and he is saying "ouch" with every drink. I figure....well COULD be strep...but more likely the virus that kids in the summer always seem to get that gives them mouth sores. He of course REFUSES to allow to me look into his mouth...so I make a dr. appt. The ONLY available appt was at 4:30 p.m. We go through an entire day...girls go to pool with the sitter....come home and my mom comes to watch them while I take sick lil boy to the dr. You know things are GREAT when the dr. gasps when she finally gets a good look at your child's throat. I think the exact words were, "Ouch! That is a BAD throat. Gross. My guess is strep or mono...it really looks THAT bad." So...in comes nurse for strep swab. Again, it is LOVELY when a nurse dry heaves while swabbing your child's throat!!! Seriously. What was he GROWING back there? Mushrooms??? And wonder of wonders....swab comes up NEGATIVE. Dr. does not really believe this diagnosis...swabs again and sends it for culture...we will get results in 2 days. On the way out, we stop and look at his swab results one more time and it was sort of like looking at a pregnancy test. Between the dr., nurse, and myself we think there IS a faint line showing positive. We walk away with a scrip and the knowledge that culture will tell us more in a few days, but we are covered for now.
I walk into my house and take ONE look at my 6 year old laying on the couch and just KNOW that I am royally screwed. She looks like h*ll!!!!!!!! I take her temp...to the tune of 103.7. Niiiiiiiice. That couldn't have happened ONE HOUR EARLIER so I could have taken her to the dr. TOO? No. No it couldn't, because, people...let me explain...that is NOT how things roll for us!!!!!!!
Tuesday a.m. at the CRACK of dawn I have EVERYONE up. I take the girls in for strep swabs figuring they have all infected one another. BOTH NEGATIVE. Really??? So, dr. says to chalk it up as a virus and wait for culture results...if they show positive, we will treat with scrip....otherwise treat symptoms. Funny thing? 6 year old really HAS no symptoms. Unlike sick lil brother her throat does not hurt, gland are not swollen, stomach doesn't hurt, she WILL eat food and drink, just has high fever.
By 24 hours of antibiotic, lil man is feeling good. Not 100%, but GOOD. And is no longer running a fever. 6 year old, on the other hand, continues to spike a high fever EVERY DAY....sparadocially. One minute she is 100.4.....and 30 min later over 103. Culture results come back on Thursday...NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. So, I am to weather the storm with my 6 year old as viral. By Friday, I am begging for mercy. I haven't left the house (outside of the times that my sweet sitters have taken pity on me and let me run an errand or two)...and 6 year old is NOT showing signs of improvement. In fact, has developed a cough. What....the....hell? I call and beg for meds. The dr. leaves the decision up to me, but I figure SOMETHING in the meds broke my 2 year old's fever, so maybe it will do the same for her. Not so much.
Saturday...24 hours after starting meds...she spikes her highest fever yet....105.2. Good stuff. Today she leveled off at 103.8 at one point. But, I am just TIRED. I feel SORRY for my kids. My 6 year old is GOING to miss at least PART of Vacation Bible School which starts this week. My 2 year old and 8 year old have sort of been held hostage b/c I haven't wanted to spread our germs about town (you can all thank me later). I JUST wanted these last couple of weeks before school starts to be NORMAL. You know? Pool time, relaxing, having fun, shopping for school supplies together...not on lockdown.
Instead, tomorrow my 8 year old will head to VBS solo - her exact words at bedtime tonight were "I mean, when am I going to get some attention around here?!" (To be clear...she has had PLENTY of attention...just craves the spotlight ALL of the time. Drama.). My 2 year old will be with a lovely sitter all day to get him OUT of this Lysoled arena of a house for the day. And my 6 year old and I will head BACK to the dr. I am expecting possible blood work (will NOT be pretty, especially since she really doesn't FEEL bad) and possible chest x-ray. My prayer at this point is to get my 6 year old well enough to hit VBS at least a FEW days this week....and maybe make it to the grocery? Pipe dreams, I know. But, I am setting low expectations in hopes of them NOT being dashed. I mean, heaven forbid I actually HOPE for pool time...that will only DIRECTLY curse my 8 year old into GETTING this same funky endless virus.
So, if you are ever wondering why you don't hear from me. Why doesn't Jennifer ever call? Why doesn't she email or text? What is she DOING? THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING. And I am so freaking far behind on even telling all of my friends of the plight that I have to write it in a blog so that you can know! lol This too shall pass....all parents know this.
Maybe we will all be well in time for the first day of school. Hope does spring eternal.
Happy day, all!
xoxo
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Who IS that and what is she doing NOW?
It started simply enough...I walked past a mirror after the shower one morning and catch a glimpse of a person that I do NOT recognize. Whose stomach and mid-section IS that? Whose thighs? What the....??? Holy sh*tballs.........that's ME!!!!! So, yeah, even though I am a regular exerciser (5-6 days/week...most often running)...things are not working out for me in the "tone up" department. There are several classes I am going to take that the HealthPark here in town once school is in session and my days are not filled with swim team, dance camps, vacation bible schools, etc....and I am sure those classes will help. But what I saw in that mirror was APPALLING and I was ready to do something STAT.
Well, as it would be....I had been asked by several friends if I was going to be running in a 5K or 10K race that was running this past Saturday evening. Let's be specifiic...it is JULY in KENTUCKY. Owensboro JUST made the NATIONAL news tonight for having the highest heat index in the COUNTRY this past few days. But, hell yeah, I signed up for that 10K. I ran it last year...it was horrid (kind of like childbirth, you forget how bad it ACTUALLY was)....but there were lots of people last year and I took comfort in that. So, I show up at 5:00 p.m. for the run and my van is reading 90 degrees....which in KY means like 135 degrees. I power on. Find a couple of my friends (one is super speedy and I have NO intention of keeping up with her...the other I figure I can hang with for MOST of the time...tho she is super young and spritely)....and then we line up. I look around and find that THIS year...most people are not as stupid as me. Every person around me is a TRUE runner. Like 20 years old (or younger/older) and wearing only sports bras and tighty tight running underwear looking things. Oh...dear...Lord.
The first cross country race that my 6 year old ever ran in, she came in last (to her defense...she doesn't KNOW she was last and she was a kindergartner amongst 1-6th graders...but she also sucks as a runner in general. Sweating is not really her thing.). When I said to her "I am SO proud of you...you FINISHED and never walked!" Her reaction was "Yeah...I couldn't stop or that man on the machine was gonna run over me!" She was of course referring to the 4-wheeler that follows the last runner in....watches for those in need of medical care, etc. Well....that was ME in this 10K for a LONG time. That damned cart was on my heels...and did not do a lot for my self esteem!
FWIW....I was alright until about mile 2.5 when I realize that I have OVER hydated and am now using keugle exercises to keep from pissing my pants....which is only half-way working. Or not working at all as the case may be. I have had 3 kids, for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that it was effing HOT AS HADES???? Yep...by 3.5 miles I was in walk/run mode....I willed myself to finish and run it out at the end. Only b/c my hubby sweet baby boy was there at the end waiting for me. Overall....Most. Horrible .Race. Ever. I finished and said, "Why do I run? I don't even think I LIKE it!?!?!!?" It took me a full hour to finish...a time that I was/am NOT proud of. I went home showered...got 2 yr old in bed...and went to neighbor's house and commenced to making her get drunk with me to kill my mental/physical pain of that race! While there? I got a text from speedy friend who stayed for awards ceremony saying that I PLACED in my age division. Of course, I ask "Does this mean that I placed 3rd in my age group and there were only three of us IN my age group?" Her answer: "NO! You placed SECOND....and there were 2 people in your age group." I drank more wine in celebration. And let me tell you something...my medal better BE IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!!!! It was the worst race of my life and I need proof that i finished, however badly! LOL!
So....in seeing that horrid profile in myself in the mirror caused me to do another knee-jerk action. I ordered a series of DVDs....the Tracy Anderson Method (Metamorphosis). It arrived 2 days ago. There is a 30 min cardio dance section that you are to do daily. The best that I can describe it as is me looking like a fraggle doing something similar to sexy club dancing....except despite my coordination, I don't even REMOTELY resemble TRACY. Lol. Then there is a weight/muscle section that isolates and works on problem areas that you identify. Ummmm.... yeah.....my legs are gonna fall off. That woman is a MACHINE. The program is complete...cardio/weight and resistance training/diet. Of course, her biggest endorser is Gwyneth Paltrow ... Demi and Courtney Cox love her too. And after doing this program for two days like a crippled fraggle...let me tell you. I am certain the program would work if I stayed on the program...it's 6 days on/1 day off. But, that makes it hard to run, which I am going to do. But, that aside..let's say I follow strictly the 90 day plan of 6 days on/1 day off.....Ms. Anderson can shove her dietary advice up her arse. I mean....REALLY...does she think that for a single second I am going to eat pureed carrots and parsnips for the first 4 days of this program? Maybe if I am Gwyn and have someone paid to force feed me and then slap food out of my hands at other time. HELL to the NO...I don't eat BABY food/ And, dear Tracy, when you say you "recommend" 3 glasses of wine per week...you better specify the amount of ozs......I have some BIG wine glasses!!!!!!!!!!
Yet...I will run in the a.m. and Tracy myself in the evening....and I will keep trying to choose the Baked Lay's over other chips....and I will hate ever minute of it.
Happy day, everyone!
Jennifer
Well, as it would be....I had been asked by several friends if I was going to be running in a 5K or 10K race that was running this past Saturday evening. Let's be specifiic...it is JULY in KENTUCKY. Owensboro JUST made the NATIONAL news tonight for having the highest heat index in the COUNTRY this past few days. But, hell yeah, I signed up for that 10K. I ran it last year...it was horrid (kind of like childbirth, you forget how bad it ACTUALLY was)....but there were lots of people last year and I took comfort in that. So, I show up at 5:00 p.m. for the run and my van is reading 90 degrees....which in KY means like 135 degrees. I power on. Find a couple of my friends (one is super speedy and I have NO intention of keeping up with her...the other I figure I can hang with for MOST of the time...tho she is super young and spritely)....and then we line up. I look around and find that THIS year...most people are not as stupid as me. Every person around me is a TRUE runner. Like 20 years old (or younger/older) and wearing only sports bras and tighty tight running underwear looking things. Oh...dear...Lord.
The first cross country race that my 6 year old ever ran in, she came in last (to her defense...she doesn't KNOW she was last and she was a kindergartner amongst 1-6th graders...but she also sucks as a runner in general. Sweating is not really her thing.). When I said to her "I am SO proud of you...you FINISHED and never walked!" Her reaction was "Yeah...I couldn't stop or that man on the machine was gonna run over me!" She was of course referring to the 4-wheeler that follows the last runner in....watches for those in need of medical care, etc. Well....that was ME in this 10K for a LONG time. That damned cart was on my heels...and did not do a lot for my self esteem!
FWIW....I was alright until about mile 2.5 when I realize that I have OVER hydated and am now using keugle exercises to keep from pissing my pants....which is only half-way working. Or not working at all as the case may be. I have had 3 kids, for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that it was effing HOT AS HADES???? Yep...by 3.5 miles I was in walk/run mode....I willed myself to finish and run it out at the end. Only b/c my hubby sweet baby boy was there at the end waiting for me. Overall....Most. Horrible .Race. Ever. I finished and said, "Why do I run? I don't even think I LIKE it!?!?!!?" It took me a full hour to finish...a time that I was/am NOT proud of. I went home showered...got 2 yr old in bed...and went to neighbor's house and commenced to making her get drunk with me to kill my mental/physical pain of that race! While there? I got a text from speedy friend who stayed for awards ceremony saying that I PLACED in my age division. Of course, I ask "Does this mean that I placed 3rd in my age group and there were only three of us IN my age group?" Her answer: "NO! You placed SECOND....and there were 2 people in your age group." I drank more wine in celebration. And let me tell you something...my medal better BE IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!!!! It was the worst race of my life and I need proof that i finished, however badly! LOL!
So....in seeing that horrid profile in myself in the mirror caused me to do another knee-jerk action. I ordered a series of DVDs....the Tracy Anderson Method (Metamorphosis). It arrived 2 days ago. There is a 30 min cardio dance section that you are to do daily. The best that I can describe it as is me looking like a fraggle doing something similar to sexy club dancing....except despite my coordination, I don't even REMOTELY resemble TRACY. Lol. Then there is a weight/muscle section that isolates and works on problem areas that you identify. Ummmm.... yeah.....my legs are gonna fall off. That woman is a MACHINE. The program is complete...cardio/weight and resistance training/diet. Of course, her biggest endorser is Gwyneth Paltrow ... Demi and Courtney Cox love her too. And after doing this program for two days like a crippled fraggle...let me tell you. I am certain the program would work if I stayed on the program...it's 6 days on/1 day off. But, that makes it hard to run, which I am going to do. But, that aside..let's say I follow strictly the 90 day plan of 6 days on/1 day off.....Ms. Anderson can shove her dietary advice up her arse. I mean....REALLY...does she think that for a single second I am going to eat pureed carrots and parsnips for the first 4 days of this program? Maybe if I am Gwyn and have someone paid to force feed me and then slap food out of my hands at other time. HELL to the NO...I don't eat BABY food/ And, dear Tracy, when you say you "recommend" 3 glasses of wine per week...you better specify the amount of ozs......I have some BIG wine glasses!!!!!!!!!!
Yet...I will run in the a.m. and Tracy myself in the evening....and I will keep trying to choose the Baked Lay's over other chips....and I will hate ever minute of it.
Happy day, everyone!
Jennifer
Monday, June 27, 2011
Dinner Out....with 3 kids
Seriously...I should just STOP with that title. I mean, it really says it all, doesn't it? Can ANYTHING good come out of going out to eat with 3 children aged 8, 6, and nearly 3? Let me answer you in NO uncertain terms.....Hell to the NO. Nothing good at all.
Our journey began innocently enough...heading to Evansville. Needed to price some "big boy" beds since 2 year old monkey boy can climb both into and out of his crib....obviously for his safety it is time to upgrade....or get a crib tent to cage his little butt in. But, I digress....we were pricing the bedroom suit I liked. I have priced it locally, but wanted to SEE a piece in PERSON and I also knew this specific bedroom suit was being discontinued so I needed to step on it. We (hubby, 3 kids, me) go to the furniture store....I know the EXACT number of the items I want priced....and let me tell you something....I may have been a school teacher but even I know this sales guy SUCKED. He refused to write down prices for me to take with me....so I stole his pen and a piece of HIS scrap paper right in front of him and wrote it down myself. He wanted to know my exact quotes from the Oboro places I had been too....I refused to tell him. Actually, I lied and said I did not have the prices with me...wanted to do all my cross checking at home. Well, he was not happy with me on this issue. Shoots me a VERY high price and says "Just call with your quotes and I will match them." Yes, I will not be purchasing from you Evasville man! Spit! But, the best part of this escapade...is that while he is pretending that he can't pull up prices on the computer for me to see (lie)....my kids are going ape sh*t crazy. Jumping on beds...trying to climb the bunks....my poor hubby is near heart attack level. I loved that the sales guy was like, "So, you don't want THIS bunk bed that's on clearance here?" A. I wasn't pricing the effing bunk bed. B. Did he not SEE my children? My kids would KILL themselves with access to bunk beds! Idiot.
So, off our happy family heads (already on edge after that hair raising experience of NO ONE doing what they are supposed to be doing) to Outback Steakhouse. Good choice for our lil guy with egg and peanut/tree nut allergies. Our fun starts with my 2 year old SCREECHING b/c he doesn't want to sit in the high chair. I am certain all patrons around us are already huge FANS of ours. He gets settled in and begins coloring the menu, the table, himself. His drink comes in a stryfoam cup that he immediately starts trying to poke holes in...hubby has to go to the van and get the sippie cup that he left in the car to use from that point forward....cut to more screaming from 2 year old. It only seems like 600 years before food arrives and during that time I assess that my 8 year old and 6 year old must both be hard of hearing....they talk as LOUD as any kids ever. I am shushing them...2 year old is yelling random things...girls are laughing and instigating the situation. Bad. Everyone finally gets food....Vince with his grilled chicken and French fries all allergen friendly. Well, of course the only thing he WANTS are the French fries. I start trying to feed him the chicken...that ends in more screeching.
Out of no where? My 2 year old screams, "I need to potty!" I ignore, I mean it is a public restroom and I KNOW kids just like the adventure...we all know he won't even go at HOME. He persists. So, I bargain with him...."Take a bite of chicken and I will take you to the potty". He of course scarfs down a piece immediately....off we head. Of course, I have to put his SHOES on him first, as he ditched those and THREW them across the restaurant within 5 minutes of arriving at the restaurant. Sweet. We get into the bathroom and I will commend Outback for clean restrooms! We head to the handicapped stall (go ahead and argue the point...but having a 2 year old who wants to "go" constitutes as a handicap in my book). My 2 year old is arguing that he wants to STAND to go...not so much...I force him onto the toilet seat...he touches EVERY SINGLE SURFACE KNOWN TO MAN AND BEAST...passes gas...and says "All done!" Seriously?????????? Yes. And, by this point, he has diaper off, pants off, and yes shoes off. I am freaking out (germaphobe) and trying to AT LEAST get his shoes on him. Nope. He has to be fully diapered and have his shorts back on before he agrees to put his shoes back on! Again, very nice. We wash hand thoroughly...only to have a towel dispenser that is JAMMED. I unjam the mother...and turn to find my 2 year old cleaning the floor with his HANDS. Rewash. Lovely. Back to table.
I had, inadvertently, promised both of my girls they could have dessert after dinner. I had bribed Sarah at swim practice if she didn't grab a life guard while swimming or the lane line that she could have ice cream....and Reese "won" the family art contest (that she set up herself and I was the judge...it was only between her and her father...), so both had "earned" dessert as a reward. Well, listen, dinner was OVER people...I was ready to go. While the girls are eating dessert and laughing INCESSANTLY and LOUDLY... I am still trying to force feed my 2 year old grilled chicken. I have hidden all his French fries...and the hubby has the idea that maybe young Jedi would eat his chicken if he has a dip....like A1. In he dives...and screeches, "It burns my mouth! It really does!!!!" From that point on....he is "scared" of the chicken. Obviously. He is also asking for dessert...and we are telling him that he hasn't eaten enough chicken....it's a bad circle of circumstances.
The ride home is no better. Both girls know they are in trouble for their constant loudness and laughing. When I told them I was disappointed in them for "encouraging" their brother....my 6 year old looked at me and said, "Yeah...we were ENCOURAGING him to eat his chicken, I would THINK you'd be happy!" Oh heavens! 2 year old is yelling that he wants to see the river all....the...way....home.
In short, I reallllly do not recommended outings with 3 children....especially to public places...where you have to use public restrooms...and ruin not only your own meals, but also the meals of others.
Happy day, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Our journey began innocently enough...heading to Evansville. Needed to price some "big boy" beds since 2 year old monkey boy can climb both into and out of his crib....obviously for his safety it is time to upgrade....or get a crib tent to cage his little butt in. But, I digress....we were pricing the bedroom suit I liked. I have priced it locally, but wanted to SEE a piece in PERSON and I also knew this specific bedroom suit was being discontinued so I needed to step on it. We (hubby, 3 kids, me) go to the furniture store....I know the EXACT number of the items I want priced....and let me tell you something....I may have been a school teacher but even I know this sales guy SUCKED. He refused to write down prices for me to take with me....so I stole his pen and a piece of HIS scrap paper right in front of him and wrote it down myself. He wanted to know my exact quotes from the Oboro places I had been too....I refused to tell him. Actually, I lied and said I did not have the prices with me...wanted to do all my cross checking at home. Well, he was not happy with me on this issue. Shoots me a VERY high price and says "Just call with your quotes and I will match them." Yes, I will not be purchasing from you Evasville man! Spit! But, the best part of this escapade...is that while he is pretending that he can't pull up prices on the computer for me to see (lie)....my kids are going ape sh*t crazy. Jumping on beds...trying to climb the bunks....my poor hubby is near heart attack level. I loved that the sales guy was like, "So, you don't want THIS bunk bed that's on clearance here?" A. I wasn't pricing the effing bunk bed. B. Did he not SEE my children? My kids would KILL themselves with access to bunk beds! Idiot.
So, off our happy family heads (already on edge after that hair raising experience of NO ONE doing what they are supposed to be doing) to Outback Steakhouse. Good choice for our lil guy with egg and peanut/tree nut allergies. Our fun starts with my 2 year old SCREECHING b/c he doesn't want to sit in the high chair. I am certain all patrons around us are already huge FANS of ours. He gets settled in and begins coloring the menu, the table, himself. His drink comes in a stryfoam cup that he immediately starts trying to poke holes in...hubby has to go to the van and get the sippie cup that he left in the car to use from that point forward....cut to more screaming from 2 year old. It only seems like 600 years before food arrives and during that time I assess that my 8 year old and 6 year old must both be hard of hearing....they talk as LOUD as any kids ever. I am shushing them...2 year old is yelling random things...girls are laughing and instigating the situation. Bad. Everyone finally gets food....Vince with his grilled chicken and French fries all allergen friendly. Well, of course the only thing he WANTS are the French fries. I start trying to feed him the chicken...that ends in more screeching.
Out of no where? My 2 year old screams, "I need to potty!" I ignore, I mean it is a public restroom and I KNOW kids just like the adventure...we all know he won't even go at HOME. He persists. So, I bargain with him...."Take a bite of chicken and I will take you to the potty". He of course scarfs down a piece immediately....off we head. Of course, I have to put his SHOES on him first, as he ditched those and THREW them across the restaurant within 5 minutes of arriving at the restaurant. Sweet. We get into the bathroom and I will commend Outback for clean restrooms! We head to the handicapped stall (go ahead and argue the point...but having a 2 year old who wants to "go" constitutes as a handicap in my book). My 2 year old is arguing that he wants to STAND to go...not so much...I force him onto the toilet seat...he touches EVERY SINGLE SURFACE KNOWN TO MAN AND BEAST...passes gas...and says "All done!" Seriously?????????? Yes. And, by this point, he has diaper off, pants off, and yes shoes off. I am freaking out (germaphobe) and trying to AT LEAST get his shoes on him. Nope. He has to be fully diapered and have his shorts back on before he agrees to put his shoes back on! Again, very nice. We wash hand thoroughly...only to have a towel dispenser that is JAMMED. I unjam the mother...and turn to find my 2 year old cleaning the floor with his HANDS. Rewash. Lovely. Back to table.
I had, inadvertently, promised both of my girls they could have dessert after dinner. I had bribed Sarah at swim practice if she didn't grab a life guard while swimming or the lane line that she could have ice cream....and Reese "won" the family art contest (that she set up herself and I was the judge...it was only between her and her father...), so both had "earned" dessert as a reward. Well, listen, dinner was OVER people...I was ready to go. While the girls are eating dessert and laughing INCESSANTLY and LOUDLY... I am still trying to force feed my 2 year old grilled chicken. I have hidden all his French fries...and the hubby has the idea that maybe young Jedi would eat his chicken if he has a dip....like A1. In he dives...and screeches, "It burns my mouth! It really does!!!!" From that point on....he is "scared" of the chicken. Obviously. He is also asking for dessert...and we are telling him that he hasn't eaten enough chicken....it's a bad circle of circumstances.
The ride home is no better. Both girls know they are in trouble for their constant loudness and laughing. When I told them I was disappointed in them for "encouraging" their brother....my 6 year old looked at me and said, "Yeah...we were ENCOURAGING him to eat his chicken, I would THINK you'd be happy!" Oh heavens! 2 year old is yelling that he wants to see the river all....the...way....home.
In short, I reallllly do not recommended outings with 3 children....especially to public places...where you have to use public restrooms...and ruin not only your own meals, but also the meals of others.
Happy day, all!
xoxo Jennifer
Friday, June 24, 2011
Oh Poo....
I have said this once...and I will say it again...unless you are a mother or a pediatrician you have NO idea how much time is actually spent discussing the intestinal issues of children. Basically parents/drs examine and analyze every BM that a child passes...it's a constant conversation piece when I am running in the a.m. with my friends. Sad, but true. So, AGAIN, like I have said....put on your big kid pants and deal with it. This is blog is about Poo.
Bottom line? I am fairly certain that Vince is going to be heading off to college in a diaper...by that time, I will hopefully have taught him to at least WIPE and change himself...but I am shuttering at the amount of $$ I will be shelling out for pullups...especially once alcohol gets introduced to his system. And, we all KNOW, that this will NOT happen until his junion yr of college when he is 21 years old, thank you VERY much. But , I digress...
I knew that this summer (the summer before he turns 3 in August) was the time to start potty training. I was also totally prepared for the fact that boys TYPICALLY train later than girls. Reese was totally trained and wearing undies by 3....Sarah even earlier (she taught herself....the same way she is going to teach herself to silently override the household security system later in her life and sneak out to meet boys....I am not stupid, people....). Sooooo....we try.
First stop? The "potty watch"....it sings a song every 20-30 min to remind the child to sit on the potty and give it a try. Yeah...he spent the enture day trying to get the watch OFF and pushing buttons that caused the watch to NOT chime on time, etc. Problematic. I put that idea away in a drawer.
Next stop? Pull-ups.....CARS version. We LOVE us some Lightning McQueen in this house. It would be HORRENDOUS to soil McQueen....one would THINK. Yeah...I set the timer on the oven to go off every 20 min (and had my sweet sitter do the same thing that day), we made him sit every time the timer beeped. Never ONCE did he go...except IN the pull up. Literally, he would sit and hold it...then pee in the diaper the SECOND I pulled his pants up. Jerkstore. And poo + pullups = UGLY.....so, bag that idea (literally bag it in a ziploc and send it to the dumpster) and abandon that ship for a bit as well.
Funny anecdotes? #1. My son is the ONLY one of my children to ever actually poo in a swim diaper. And ANYONE who has dealt with this situation knows/feels my PAIN. It's almost like chlorinated water is an enema for this kid! He literally, on two separate occassions, got OUT of the pool, came to me and said, "I gotta poop! Let's go change my diaper!" Yep....already GONE in his pants. Again...jerkstore. I had that moment of "Do I try and deal with this problem with just wipes/towel or hose him down in the SHOWER?")
#2. He walked INTO the bathroom today....and walked out with me. Immediately I can smell him. I ask, "Why in the world did you poop in your diaper while you were STANDING in the bathroom? Poop goes in the potty, honey." My son responded, "I didn't go in the bathroom....I went in the living room." Sweet. Touche young Jedi.....
So bascially, I KNOW my kid is smart enough and capable enough to potty train....he just doesn't want to. I am tempted to sent his naked butt out back and let whatever happen just HAPPEN. I know this works for others....but I can just imagine a REALLY bad scene. My son DID just fingerpaint his crib pad with poo not too long ago. When asked WHY he put his hand in poo....he responded, " I didn't....I just put it in a toot...and then washed it off" -- he said this while giving a sweeping motion across his chest....where you coudl see the brown streaks of his artwork. Nice stuff.
So, yeah, your words of encouragement will help....but I am just happy that diapers.com sells in bulk and has free home (or college) delivery... (that's for all you extreme couponers out there....a SWEET website that I did not discover until baby #3...damnit! And....you couponers are on my list to to-dos for blogging...even tho I love you! Along with other blogs to address chaos at kids' events and us Type A moms that can NOT freaking take it!!!!!!!!).
Much love all...have a fantab weekend!
xoxo Jennifer
Bottom line? I am fairly certain that Vince is going to be heading off to college in a diaper...by that time, I will hopefully have taught him to at least WIPE and change himself...but I am shuttering at the amount of $$ I will be shelling out for pullups...especially once alcohol gets introduced to his system. And, we all KNOW, that this will NOT happen until his junion yr of college when he is 21 years old, thank you VERY much. But , I digress...
I knew that this summer (the summer before he turns 3 in August) was the time to start potty training. I was also totally prepared for the fact that boys TYPICALLY train later than girls. Reese was totally trained and wearing undies by 3....Sarah even earlier (she taught herself....the same way she is going to teach herself to silently override the household security system later in her life and sneak out to meet boys....I am not stupid, people....). Sooooo....we try.
First stop? The "potty watch"....it sings a song every 20-30 min to remind the child to sit on the potty and give it a try. Yeah...he spent the enture day trying to get the watch OFF and pushing buttons that caused the watch to NOT chime on time, etc. Problematic. I put that idea away in a drawer.
Next stop? Pull-ups.....CARS version. We LOVE us some Lightning McQueen in this house. It would be HORRENDOUS to soil McQueen....one would THINK. Yeah...I set the timer on the oven to go off every 20 min (and had my sweet sitter do the same thing that day), we made him sit every time the timer beeped. Never ONCE did he go...except IN the pull up. Literally, he would sit and hold it...then pee in the diaper the SECOND I pulled his pants up. Jerkstore. And poo + pullups = UGLY.....so, bag that idea (literally bag it in a ziploc and send it to the dumpster) and abandon that ship for a bit as well.
Funny anecdotes? #1. My son is the ONLY one of my children to ever actually poo in a swim diaper. And ANYONE who has dealt with this situation knows/feels my PAIN. It's almost like chlorinated water is an enema for this kid! He literally, on two separate occassions, got OUT of the pool, came to me and said, "I gotta poop! Let's go change my diaper!" Yep....already GONE in his pants. Again...jerkstore. I had that moment of "Do I try and deal with this problem with just wipes/towel or hose him down in the SHOWER?")
#2. He walked INTO the bathroom today....and walked out with me. Immediately I can smell him. I ask, "Why in the world did you poop in your diaper while you were STANDING in the bathroom? Poop goes in the potty, honey." My son responded, "I didn't go in the bathroom....I went in the living room." Sweet. Touche young Jedi.....
So bascially, I KNOW my kid is smart enough and capable enough to potty train....he just doesn't want to. I am tempted to sent his naked butt out back and let whatever happen just HAPPEN. I know this works for others....but I can just imagine a REALLY bad scene. My son DID just fingerpaint his crib pad with poo not too long ago. When asked WHY he put his hand in poo....he responded, " I didn't....I just put it in a toot...and then washed it off" -- he said this while giving a sweeping motion across his chest....where you coudl see the brown streaks of his artwork. Nice stuff.
So, yeah, your words of encouragement will help....but I am just happy that diapers.com sells in bulk and has free home (or college) delivery... (that's for all you extreme couponers out there....a SWEET website that I did not discover until baby #3...damnit! And....you couponers are on my list to to-dos for blogging...even tho I love you! Along with other blogs to address chaos at kids' events and us Type A moms that can NOT freaking take it!!!!!!!!).
Much love all...have a fantab weekend!
xoxo Jennifer
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Early Onset Dementia
It is a hard burden to bear....but after giving birth to 3 children, I have officially been left with approximately 50 brain cells....and those are failing me or being slowly killed off by Pinot Noir. So, here I am 35 years old (yes, STILL younger than all my classmates...pbbbbbbt! You THOUGHT you were cool when you could drive legally/drink legally before me....but whose laughing NOW?!) and dealing with what I can only describe as early onset dementia. Here is a recount of my day....as written through the eyes of my LOST KEYS:
Yep...Jennifer is a special gal. "Special" as in she needs both hands to find her rear-end a good portion of the time. Today, I spent the entire day laying in wait as she frantically searched for me...screeching "WHERE ARE MY CAR KEYS?" "HOW COULD I HAVE LOST THEM?" "WHERE COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE?" and other variations thereof. The answer, of course, is that I was RIGHT WHERE SHE LEFT ME. Idiot. She really does have some sort of memory problem. Literally, she frantically texted friends about me...retraced her steps since her last TRUE memory of having me was when she drove to/from church...and literally turned the house UPSIDE DOWN. She was CERTAIN that her 2 year old had grabbed them off the counter and hidden them somewhere. She tore apart every toy box, went through every cabinet and drawer, she even looked in the refrigerator! Again, IDIOT.
Next step? Call the people who drove her Pinot Noir-ed butt home last night....b/c CERTAINLY us keys must had fallen out of her purse in their truck. Really? Buy a dang purse that ZIPS up and closes all the way. No way us keys would fall out. No, Jennifer, we are NOT in the floorboard of the car! Next stop... she runs into another person who was in the same restaurant as her last night and asks if THEY saw us (her keys). Ummm....no. Although that humongous pink keychain that we are on and she wears around her wrist while typically toting one of her 3 crying children around to some extracurrirular activity that they are b*tching about going to but she is MAKING them attend b/c it is "good for them" would be REALLY hard to miss. I swear, she is a hot mess.
Step 3? Go and comb the grass and parking lot of the restaurant. The restaurant was not open today, so she could not call. Of course, this is a NO GO. That's not where she PUT us. Idiot.
What is best about this story is that Jennifer has NO idea that she never even HAD us...the WHOLE night. She had her 8 year old lock the door behind them when they LEFT the house...and they (evidentally) used her husband's keys to get back in. Neither of them could REMEMBER this. Again...special, pinot noir-ed, early onset dementia girl we are dealing with here.
So....have we been found? Yes. By Jennifer or her hoard of 3 children that tore up the whole house? No. By Jennifer's husband. Because we were laying on the back floorbard of his truck. She failed to remember that when she got home from church, the FIRST thing her hubby asked her to do was secure the 2 year old's car seat in his truck. Down went the keys....and there we sat ALLLLL day watching her crazy a$$ run around the house acting the fool. Geez. Someone get this chick some ginko biloba....or another glass of Pinot....whatever!
And fwiw, what is she doing right NOW? After tearing this house up and realizing that they WHOLE place needs to be de-hoarded and organized? She's writing a freaking blog entry from the point of view of her KEYS. Dang. That's totally normal.....
xoxo Jennifer's keys
Have a great night all!
Yep...Jennifer is a special gal. "Special" as in she needs both hands to find her rear-end a good portion of the time. Today, I spent the entire day laying in wait as she frantically searched for me...screeching "WHERE ARE MY CAR KEYS?" "HOW COULD I HAVE LOST THEM?" "WHERE COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE?" and other variations thereof. The answer, of course, is that I was RIGHT WHERE SHE LEFT ME. Idiot. She really does have some sort of memory problem. Literally, she frantically texted friends about me...retraced her steps since her last TRUE memory of having me was when she drove to/from church...and literally turned the house UPSIDE DOWN. She was CERTAIN that her 2 year old had grabbed them off the counter and hidden them somewhere. She tore apart every toy box, went through every cabinet and drawer, she even looked in the refrigerator! Again, IDIOT.
Next step? Call the people who drove her Pinot Noir-ed butt home last night....b/c CERTAINLY us keys must had fallen out of her purse in their truck. Really? Buy a dang purse that ZIPS up and closes all the way. No way us keys would fall out. No, Jennifer, we are NOT in the floorboard of the car! Next stop... she runs into another person who was in the same restaurant as her last night and asks if THEY saw us (her keys). Ummm....no. Although that humongous pink keychain that we are on and she wears around her wrist while typically toting one of her 3 crying children around to some extracurrirular activity that they are b*tching about going to but she is MAKING them attend b/c it is "good for them" would be REALLY hard to miss. I swear, she is a hot mess.
Step 3? Go and comb the grass and parking lot of the restaurant. The restaurant was not open today, so she could not call. Of course, this is a NO GO. That's not where she PUT us. Idiot.
What is best about this story is that Jennifer has NO idea that she never even HAD us...the WHOLE night. She had her 8 year old lock the door behind them when they LEFT the house...and they (evidentally) used her husband's keys to get back in. Neither of them could REMEMBER this. Again...special, pinot noir-ed, early onset dementia girl we are dealing with here.
So....have we been found? Yes. By Jennifer or her hoard of 3 children that tore up the whole house? No. By Jennifer's husband. Because we were laying on the back floorbard of his truck. She failed to remember that when she got home from church, the FIRST thing her hubby asked her to do was secure the 2 year old's car seat in his truck. Down went the keys....and there we sat ALLLLL day watching her crazy a$$ run around the house acting the fool. Geez. Someone get this chick some ginko biloba....or another glass of Pinot....whatever!
And fwiw, what is she doing right NOW? After tearing this house up and realizing that they WHOLE place needs to be de-hoarded and organized? She's writing a freaking blog entry from the point of view of her KEYS. Dang. That's totally normal.....
xoxo Jennifer's keys
Have a great night all!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Why Do I Exercise?
Summer is here...and I am amazed at how there is not a single moment in my day to sit and ponder the fun stuff in life on this blog. I mean, between dance recitals, swim team practices, loads of laundry, and just general life as a mom.....I can already tell this summer is gonna fly by. The one thing that I do my very very very best to try and schedule every day (OK....at least 5 times/week)??? Exercise.
Whether I hit the gym for treadmill or spinning class, run with friends at 5:30 in the a.m., go to a group bootcamp or training session, or exercise at home....I really do schedule exercise into my day. The big question is WHY? I mean, it SUCKS to get up at 5:15 a.m. to run in 85 degree temps (or 25 degree temps as the case may be). It is a scheduling nightmare if I do NOT get up with the chickens....getting kids ready for swimteam, fed, dressed, to childcare/ready for a baby sitter, and to gym on TIME -- which, let's be honest, NEVER HAPPENS. So, again, back to the big burning question of WHY?
The greatest answer would be "I have always been an avid runner and exerciser my whole life....I can't remember a time when I didn't love a good run or sweaty workout. It's just always been a part of my life." That answer would be a LIE. I always loved dancing...which is definitely exercise...but my friends from high school will tell you that I did EVERYTHING to try and get out of running the ONE MILE required during freshman year gym class. Once I hit college...I liked beer, not exercise. I did not start exercising regularly until I was an adult and ready to start a family. One of my high school friends was at the finish line when I finished my first 5K and I am pretty sure that she thought she was having a heat stroke or hallucinating when I crosssed the finishline.
The most politically correct answer would be: to keep my cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, bone density all in check. To be the healthiest me that I can be. This would also probably be a lie. Not that I DON'T want to be healthy. I DO have genetically high cholesterol....but I also like to eat junk. And alcohol is my friend. Sorry. The truth hurts, people. So, while I would LOVE for my thighs to not jiggle and my belly to be taut like a drum....I have come to terms with the fact that my love to food/drink and having given birth to 3 children = a body that will NEVER be perfection. I love the people at the pool who talk about how "modest" the bathing suits are -- I think the quote was "even tiny little people like you who workout like everyday stay all covered up". I had to explain that, really, after 3 kids there are just parts of your body that the general public doesn't need to see....unless a plastic surgeon is involved....because there ain't no amount of exercise that is gonna erase that mess.
The most honest answer? Friendship. Exercise is the ONE time during the day that I actually get to interact with other adults (or be totally alone if I need that as well)....most of them, just like me, are fighting to keep exercise in their daily regimen. When we run at the crack of dawn, or go to spinning class together, or bitch and complain our way through a bootcamp....we laugh. We laugh and we talk and we connect. It's nice to HEAR what is going on with your friends....and typically we all have children we are chasing when we are together....very little actual TALKING or LISTENING can be done under those circumstances. I enjoy seeing my friends in a kid-free environment...if even for 30 or 40 min. I love knowing that other moms are fighting the same battles with their kids that I am. I love the commaraderie that we share. We laugh about being a "wolf pack" (per The Hangover....) and we are always looking for new members to join our wolfpack. That's a nice feeling. A big wolf pack of ladies....actually doing something GOOD for ourselves...our minds, our bodies....all the time talking about what we will be eating/drinking later that day and night ;-)
Find fun friends to exercise with....it makes the torture a LOT more bearable. Plus, it makes you get up and out of bed at 5:00 a.m. if you know 4 people are waiting for you!!!!!!
Happy beginning of summer, everyone!
xoxo
Whether I hit the gym for treadmill or spinning class, run with friends at 5:30 in the a.m., go to a group bootcamp or training session, or exercise at home....I really do schedule exercise into my day. The big question is WHY? I mean, it SUCKS to get up at 5:15 a.m. to run in 85 degree temps (or 25 degree temps as the case may be). It is a scheduling nightmare if I do NOT get up with the chickens....getting kids ready for swimteam, fed, dressed, to childcare/ready for a baby sitter, and to gym on TIME -- which, let's be honest, NEVER HAPPENS. So, again, back to the big burning question of WHY?
The greatest answer would be "I have always been an avid runner and exerciser my whole life....I can't remember a time when I didn't love a good run or sweaty workout. It's just always been a part of my life." That answer would be a LIE. I always loved dancing...which is definitely exercise...but my friends from high school will tell you that I did EVERYTHING to try and get out of running the ONE MILE required during freshman year gym class. Once I hit college...I liked beer, not exercise. I did not start exercising regularly until I was an adult and ready to start a family. One of my high school friends was at the finish line when I finished my first 5K and I am pretty sure that she thought she was having a heat stroke or hallucinating when I crosssed the finishline.
The most politically correct answer would be: to keep my cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, bone density all in check. To be the healthiest me that I can be. This would also probably be a lie. Not that I DON'T want to be healthy. I DO have genetically high cholesterol....but I also like to eat junk. And alcohol is my friend. Sorry. The truth hurts, people. So, while I would LOVE for my thighs to not jiggle and my belly to be taut like a drum....I have come to terms with the fact that my love to food/drink and having given birth to 3 children = a body that will NEVER be perfection. I love the people at the pool who talk about how "modest" the bathing suits are -- I think the quote was "even tiny little people like you who workout like everyday stay all covered up". I had to explain that, really, after 3 kids there are just parts of your body that the general public doesn't need to see....unless a plastic surgeon is involved....because there ain't no amount of exercise that is gonna erase that mess.
The most honest answer? Friendship. Exercise is the ONE time during the day that I actually get to interact with other adults (or be totally alone if I need that as well)....most of them, just like me, are fighting to keep exercise in their daily regimen. When we run at the crack of dawn, or go to spinning class together, or bitch and complain our way through a bootcamp....we laugh. We laugh and we talk and we connect. It's nice to HEAR what is going on with your friends....and typically we all have children we are chasing when we are together....very little actual TALKING or LISTENING can be done under those circumstances. I enjoy seeing my friends in a kid-free environment...if even for 30 or 40 min. I love knowing that other moms are fighting the same battles with their kids that I am. I love the commaraderie that we share. We laugh about being a "wolf pack" (per The Hangover....) and we are always looking for new members to join our wolfpack. That's a nice feeling. A big wolf pack of ladies....actually doing something GOOD for ourselves...our minds, our bodies....all the time talking about what we will be eating/drinking later that day and night ;-)
Find fun friends to exercise with....it makes the torture a LOT more bearable. Plus, it makes you get up and out of bed at 5:00 a.m. if you know 4 people are waiting for you!!!!!!
Happy beginning of summer, everyone!
xoxo
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
How to Achieve Wedded Bliss
Yep....I know it is hard to believe people. But, as of today, I have been married to my hubby for 14 years. Wahoo! This also means that I must have gotten married at like age 8 year old, right????
So, we all know that NO ONE has the "perfect" marriage. But, I am open to offering advice. I mean, isn't that what this blog is all about? Advice and warnings and general mundane life in general? So, here are some of the key elements that keep my marriage healthy and happy:
1. COMMUNICATION: This is an obvious one. But, allow me to let you in on a secret. My husband doesn't even KNOW that I have this BLOG. Yes, you just read that. In fact, when eating with a friend one night, I told her this when she asked what my hubby thought about my blog...and she said THAT mere fact was funnier than anything I could ever write on the blog. The fact my husband doesn't even know that I HAVE one. LOL. Well, to be fair, there have been a few of you who (in his presence) have mentioned my blog....and my husband has literally asked "What's a BLOG?" I (while usually motioning a cut throat sign to the person speaking) bark out something akin to "it's a Facebook thing..." Because....he ALSO is anti-Facebook. Not a clue. No idea. Cracks me UP! His favorite quote is "Facebook Alert" which he yells EVERY SINGLE TIME that my phone rings, gets a text, gets a weather alert.....and to be clear I do NOT get "facebook alerts". Doesn't matter. He loves saying it. And now my 6 year old says it too. Touche, dear husband.
So, in truth, communication IS important. But, I mean not TOO much! For instance, the things I SAY in this blog...he has lived through...and I have probably muddled through it with him 10 million times....he's OVER hearing and definitely not going to want to READ about it. I am pretty sure that because I am so long winded (I like to call myself a "gifted storyteller") that our marriage survives because he has learned to tune out about 85% of the crap that comes out of my mouth. Somehow he sifts through it all and gets the point...most of the time. Of course, we DO have a child with severe food allergies and I have to leave more detailed directions for what my baby boy can eat/not eat and what to do in case of an emergency than I do for ANY 15 yr old babysitter. So maybe a LITTLE more listening would do him well. That said, I DO NOT want to hear a hole by hole recap of his golf game every weekend....or what the grain markets are doing....or how he needs to kill weeds in the yard. Nope. I filter him as well. All is fair game. So, yes, TALK people....just think about what is most important TO talk about! lol
2. BE WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND EMBRACE YOUR WEAKNESSES: Both my husband and I know we are NOT perfect individuals. We are willing to acknowledge areas that we fall short in life....for the most part. Best examples? My husband doesn't particularly like "people". You may play golf with him every week...but that does not mean he really likes you. You are just a golf partner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I am pretty sure if I added up all words that he speaks during a round of golf it would not break triple digits.... When he comes home and says that he has been playing golf, if I ask, "With who?" and he says "With all my friends"....I know that means he has been playing ALONE. This being said, he ACKNOWLEDGES this and makes an effort to be social for me (and social for golf as well, let's get real)....he is willing to bite the bullet and go out to eat with others, socialize, go to parties, etc. None of this is for himself....he'd rather be home watching the Bourne Trilogy. But, he does it for me...because he knows I have been with kids a good portion of my day and that if I don't get out on the weekends and dance now and again that I might implode. On the other hand...what is my weakness? I am pretty much ALWAYS wrong. It's OK...I have come to terms with this. My husband has a FREAKISHLY good memory. If he says it happened...it did. He says I said it? I did. I pick out an outfit and am questioning it...MOST of the time, he is right in his opinion (not always...but pretty close). I am willing to sit back and wait for his answers before stepping forward...with big decisions especially. He's good, I am telling you. He knows what he is talking about in a ridiculous number of situations. This.....I admire!
3. AGREE ON NUMBER OF CHILDREN: When Richie and I got married, he said 2 kids were max....I said 2 or 3...we'd wait and see. Then I had lots of fertility issues. I became the woman who WANTED to live in a shoe with so many children she didn't know what to do....mainly b/c that's how it works, you want what you can't have. We were blessed with 2 beautiful girls. Then, when hubby was clearly done and my body was screaming, "NO! ONE MORE! PLEASE!"....I pouted my way into "trying" for #3. He was a good sport and a baby boy joined the familiy. So, really, I guess the lesson here is not to really "Agree" but just decide how many kids you want and let them know later. HA! Not really....seriously...that could really blow up in your face....escpecially if you are married to a man who openly declares "I am doing all that I ever plan on doing. Tapped out. All yours, honey." To his defense, my hubby has done more with our kids in the 8 short years of their lives than most men do in a lifetime. So, again...all is fair.
4. AGREE ON RELIGIOUS RAISING OF SAID CHILDREN: We both knew before children that our kids would be raised Catholic and go to Catholic schools. My husband had a GREAT graduating class and I really have enjoyed watching them grow and interact over the years -- even long after high school, they share a tie that my friends from high school and I might not have. I personally attribute this to the fact that he went to church with his friends.... regardless....our kids go to Catholic schools. But, really, that's the easy part. The hard part? Getting to church weekly...leading by example....showing kids they should be in the habit of church on Sunday (or Saturday night), being good stewards (teaching children't liturgy, taking up the gifts, etc), going to confession, etc. It's really the first in that list that is hardest for us...GETTING TO CHURCH. The 2 year old in this family has proven he SUCKS in church (Catholic church = NO NURSERY) . He is horrible. No pew will contain him...no wrestling move can restrain him...no amount of juice/fruit snacks will keep him from yelling "I NEED TO POTTY!", "LOOK, THERE'S JESUS!", "JESUS HAS A BEARD!" or "I WANNA GO HOME!" So, my hubby really likes to try and lay low with the lil guy at HOME. On occassion, this happens, but for the most part, I drag him along and he has a WWF smack down with my 2 year old throughout the entire church service. Listen, I am just trying to be the example....and drag my husband down with me. :-) I like that when Father John exits the church he finds my hubby and son sitting out on the sidewalk waiting for the girls and me....it proves we were there! LOL!
5. HAVE DIFFERENT INTERESTS: Obviously, I am married to a golf addict. I do not play....though we have talked about me trying couples golf. I will be the drunk one. But, my husband is married to a runner, book club member, and bunco gal. So, we all make sacrafices. When people ask me if it bothers me that my husband plays so much golf, I can really, truly, honestly say "No". Golf makes him HAPPY. He is a freaking GROUCH in the winter. Happy hubby=happy family. And, really, time away from one another is healthy. It shows the strength of the relationship. I mean, he's not joining me while I dance to Wii Michael Jackson Experience.....well, maybe occassionally....but NOT always! Again, know what makes your spouse happy...and let them DO IT....as long as what makes them happy isn't like heroine or prostitutes....
Having only been happily married for 14 years, I know I am just merely chipping the tip of the iceberg....and what works for my family may not work for yours AT ALL. I just know I am one happy girl....that is, until you tell my husband about this blog and then I shall hunt you down and haunt you.....
14 years ROCKS!!!!!!!
Happy Day All!
xoxo Jennifer
So, we all know that NO ONE has the "perfect" marriage. But, I am open to offering advice. I mean, isn't that what this blog is all about? Advice and warnings and general mundane life in general? So, here are some of the key elements that keep my marriage healthy and happy:
1. COMMUNICATION: This is an obvious one. But, allow me to let you in on a secret. My husband doesn't even KNOW that I have this BLOG. Yes, you just read that. In fact, when eating with a friend one night, I told her this when she asked what my hubby thought about my blog...and she said THAT mere fact was funnier than anything I could ever write on the blog. The fact my husband doesn't even know that I HAVE one. LOL. Well, to be fair, there have been a few of you who (in his presence) have mentioned my blog....and my husband has literally asked "What's a BLOG?" I (while usually motioning a cut throat sign to the person speaking) bark out something akin to "it's a Facebook thing..." Because....he ALSO is anti-Facebook. Not a clue. No idea. Cracks me UP! His favorite quote is "Facebook Alert" which he yells EVERY SINGLE TIME that my phone rings, gets a text, gets a weather alert.....and to be clear I do NOT get "facebook alerts". Doesn't matter. He loves saying it. And now my 6 year old says it too. Touche, dear husband.
So, in truth, communication IS important. But, I mean not TOO much! For instance, the things I SAY in this blog...he has lived through...and I have probably muddled through it with him 10 million times....he's OVER hearing and definitely not going to want to READ about it. I am pretty sure that because I am so long winded (I like to call myself a "gifted storyteller") that our marriage survives because he has learned to tune out about 85% of the crap that comes out of my mouth. Somehow he sifts through it all and gets the point...most of the time. Of course, we DO have a child with severe food allergies and I have to leave more detailed directions for what my baby boy can eat/not eat and what to do in case of an emergency than I do for ANY 15 yr old babysitter. So maybe a LITTLE more listening would do him well. That said, I DO NOT want to hear a hole by hole recap of his golf game every weekend....or what the grain markets are doing....or how he needs to kill weeds in the yard. Nope. I filter him as well. All is fair game. So, yes, TALK people....just think about what is most important TO talk about! lol
2. BE WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND EMBRACE YOUR WEAKNESSES: Both my husband and I know we are NOT perfect individuals. We are willing to acknowledge areas that we fall short in life....for the most part. Best examples? My husband doesn't particularly like "people". You may play golf with him every week...but that does not mean he really likes you. You are just a golf partner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I am pretty sure if I added up all words that he speaks during a round of golf it would not break triple digits.... When he comes home and says that he has been playing golf, if I ask, "With who?" and he says "With all my friends"....I know that means he has been playing ALONE. This being said, he ACKNOWLEDGES this and makes an effort to be social for me (and social for golf as well, let's get real)....he is willing to bite the bullet and go out to eat with others, socialize, go to parties, etc. None of this is for himself....he'd rather be home watching the Bourne Trilogy. But, he does it for me...because he knows I have been with kids a good portion of my day and that if I don't get out on the weekends and dance now and again that I might implode. On the other hand...what is my weakness? I am pretty much ALWAYS wrong. It's OK...I have come to terms with this. My husband has a FREAKISHLY good memory. If he says it happened...it did. He says I said it? I did. I pick out an outfit and am questioning it...MOST of the time, he is right in his opinion (not always...but pretty close). I am willing to sit back and wait for his answers before stepping forward...with big decisions especially. He's good, I am telling you. He knows what he is talking about in a ridiculous number of situations. This.....I admire!
3. AGREE ON NUMBER OF CHILDREN: When Richie and I got married, he said 2 kids were max....I said 2 or 3...we'd wait and see. Then I had lots of fertility issues. I became the woman who WANTED to live in a shoe with so many children she didn't know what to do....mainly b/c that's how it works, you want what you can't have. We were blessed with 2 beautiful girls. Then, when hubby was clearly done and my body was screaming, "NO! ONE MORE! PLEASE!"....I pouted my way into "trying" for #3. He was a good sport and a baby boy joined the familiy. So, really, I guess the lesson here is not to really "Agree" but just decide how many kids you want and let them know later. HA! Not really....seriously...that could really blow up in your face....escpecially if you are married to a man who openly declares "I am doing all that I ever plan on doing. Tapped out. All yours, honey." To his defense, my hubby has done more with our kids in the 8 short years of their lives than most men do in a lifetime. So, again...all is fair.
4. AGREE ON RELIGIOUS RAISING OF SAID CHILDREN: We both knew before children that our kids would be raised Catholic and go to Catholic schools. My husband had a GREAT graduating class and I really have enjoyed watching them grow and interact over the years -- even long after high school, they share a tie that my friends from high school and I might not have. I personally attribute this to the fact that he went to church with his friends.... regardless....our kids go to Catholic schools. But, really, that's the easy part. The hard part? Getting to church weekly...leading by example....showing kids they should be in the habit of church on Sunday (or Saturday night), being good stewards (teaching children't liturgy, taking up the gifts, etc), going to confession, etc. It's really the first in that list that is hardest for us...GETTING TO CHURCH. The 2 year old in this family has proven he SUCKS in church (Catholic church = NO NURSERY) . He is horrible. No pew will contain him...no wrestling move can restrain him...no amount of juice/fruit snacks will keep him from yelling "I NEED TO POTTY!", "LOOK, THERE'S JESUS!", "JESUS HAS A BEARD!" or "I WANNA GO HOME!" So, my hubby really likes to try and lay low with the lil guy at HOME. On occassion, this happens, but for the most part, I drag him along and he has a WWF smack down with my 2 year old throughout the entire church service. Listen, I am just trying to be the example....and drag my husband down with me. :-) I like that when Father John exits the church he finds my hubby and son sitting out on the sidewalk waiting for the girls and me....it proves we were there! LOL!
5. HAVE DIFFERENT INTERESTS: Obviously, I am married to a golf addict. I do not play....though we have talked about me trying couples golf. I will be the drunk one. But, my husband is married to a runner, book club member, and bunco gal. So, we all make sacrafices. When people ask me if it bothers me that my husband plays so much golf, I can really, truly, honestly say "No". Golf makes him HAPPY. He is a freaking GROUCH in the winter. Happy hubby=happy family. And, really, time away from one another is healthy. It shows the strength of the relationship. I mean, he's not joining me while I dance to Wii Michael Jackson Experience.....well, maybe occassionally....but NOT always! Again, know what makes your spouse happy...and let them DO IT....as long as what makes them happy isn't like heroine or prostitutes....
Having only been happily married for 14 years, I know I am just merely chipping the tip of the iceberg....and what works for my family may not work for yours AT ALL. I just know I am one happy girl....that is, until you tell my husband about this blog and then I shall hunt you down and haunt you.....
14 years ROCKS!!!!!!!
Happy Day All!
xoxo Jennifer
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)